Welcome to Purgatory

Yukio was little again. It meant his family was still alive, and they could go together to the park again. It meant he could hold the hands of his parents again, and never let go.

No. He was even more little. He was back in his mother’s womb.

That’s exactly what he thought, as he floated through a darkness darker than death. He didn’t feel like he was dreaming. It was like he was plunged into the deepest depths of the ocean, his senses numb, his limbs tied up with rope. He was surrounded by oddly-shaped fishes that were jointly observing him, probably to determine whether he was food or not.

No. That’s not it either.

Where was he?

What was he doing?

The questions, along with Yukio himself, kept floating in the darkness, trying to find a place where they belonged. Yes, that was what he was doing all his life. Every time he found happiness in a place, every time someone’s embrace gave him the comfort he so direly needed, the flames flickered and they were gone. All that was left was darkness. Both inside, and outside.

Outside?

What he had mistaken as giant fishes, were actually mirrors. Yes, that’s what they looked like. Only, they reflected everything else but him. Some of them were so white, or so dark, it was pointless looking at them. As for the other ones, looking at them was dangerous.

Yes. Dangerous.

As Yukio floated in the eternal darkness, he tried to close his eyes, only to discover the concept of eyes didn’t exist in this place; if it was indeed eligible to be called a place. He didn’t have hands, legs, or anything resembling a body.

He turned towards a mirror that looked like a big, white wound. As he concentrated on it to find an anchor for his consciousness, it appeared to him that the whiteness was actually a kind of fire; a raging fire that should destroy anything and everything. And yet, he sensed, there was something inside the fire. Something moving.

As he peeked to the next mirror, it was clear that there was no respite for him after all.

A series of hideous faces were looking at him; the kind of faces even his worst nightmares won’t be able to conjure up. As he averted his gaze, a war was being reflected on another mirror. Only it wasn’t a war after all. Two groups of people, if they can be called that, were eating each other. Alive.

The journey seemed everlasting, as images of different worlds flashed from behind the mirrors, each more horrific than the other. Wars, destruction, and death were themes of most of them, and many of them were distorted beyond belief; as if someone had repeatedly punched them until their hand was a bloody pulp. Some of them harbored creatures who could see him, or sense him, as they were always looking at him.

He had no idea how long he was drifting in the nothingness, and how many mirrors surrounded him. The only word that appeared in his mind was ‘eternity’.

One of the worlds, which appeared normal, was a green field filled with sunflowers. As they danced in the wind, Yukio’s numb existence finally found some solace.

Until a few of the flowers turned towards him, and smiled. A smile that revealed rows of razor-sharp teeth.

As he slept, or he prayed that he did, a strange sound started reverberating around his nonexistent eardrums. No, it was a familiar sound, something that has been his solace for a long time. It came from inside him, outside him, and when he looked at the next mirror, he saw something… peaceful.

It was a field. Just a green, large field, with a few trees situated far away. It also looked like the fields contained some creatures, although due to the distance, they didn’t look any bigger than ants.

It didn’t appear real at all. If anything, it looked like a veteran artist’s imagination of nature.

And so, when a white rabbit hopped out of that world and into the dark, he just kept looking at it; prepared to visit the next mirror and hoping it’ll finally show his face.

Then the rabbit collided with him.

As he fell through the ocean, the dark water swirling around him, the strange yet familiar sound returned.

It was the sound of someone crying.

Yukio slowly opened his eyes, and found himself back in the present. Everyone around him was looking at him curiously. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the light, he heard Kichiro-san speaking to someone in a shrill voice. As he looked at them, she stopped.

He was still in the old room, sitting at the same chair where Tetsuya-san made him sit. But something was different, he was sure of it. Something in the atmosphere? The night being quieter than usual? He couldn’t put his finger to it.

He looked at Amanda, and for a moment observed a shocked expression. Then it was gone, like it never existed. She quickly reached him, and gave him a tight hug.

Whatever crumbs of that dark, bizarre dream were still floating in Yukio’s head, were quickly washed away. He felt his heart racing, his pulse throbbing, and a certain part…

He quickly detached himself from her.

“Are you okay?” Amanda looked like she was on the verge of crying.

“Yes…” Yukio said unsurely, “I am. What happened?”

Amanda kept standing there with weepy eyes, without any answer, until Tetsuya-san suddenly appeared out of nowhere. She immediately ran towards her.

Yukio didn’t know how long it had been since Sugi put him to sleep.

Yes, Sugi! Where was he? He wasn’t in the room, and neither was Kichiro-san.

Where did she go? She was just here, wasn’t she?

Then he suddenly remembered about ‘Jumping’.

As he looked up, Tetsuya-san was looking at him. He tried to stand up, but she motioned at him to remain seated.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t have… an exactly pleasant experience,” She had a weird way of apologizing, “Whatever… what you experienced, was you trying to search for the power that exists within you, and trying to wield it. I’m afraid you still have a long way to go.”

Yukio wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but that’s a feeling that has been with him ever since he learned about the Tracts. Like, he still wasn’t sure what it was that they did…

“Now, I’m sure you have even more questions than before. But, it would be better for us to just register you today, and then you can go home and get a good night’s sleep. When you feel better, I’ll still be here.”

She put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

“You still have a lot to learn.”

Yukio was walking with Amanda in the fields, their hands separated this time. It was almost 11 o’clock, and Amanda had suggested they directly go home, but Yukio insisted that he wanted to walk a bit. The dark-green surroundings, the pleasant breeze, the constant buzzing of crickets, occasional sounds of the nocturnal birds; all of it together made him feel like being home.

No, being in reality. As far away from that darkness as possible.

“So… you really don’t remember anything?”

It was the second time Amanda had asked him that question, despite getting a clear answer the first time. On the other hand, he asked her what Sugi did to him, and got the exact same answer as Tetsuya-san. She either genuinely didn’t know, or she was…

“How many times do I need to tell you?” Yukio wanted to relax a bit. He didn’t utter a word after getting out of that room, and he expected her to do the same. It didn’t take them much time to register, as Tetsuya-san just wrote his name somewhere; he didn’t even have to sign anything. During then, and even when he was saying goodbye to everyone, Amanda was completely silent. Why was she so talkative now?

“Sorry,” she said, meekly.

After they walked a bit more, she suddenly said, “Wanna go somewhere better?”

When they appeared at the cliff, thankfully no one was around. It was a cliff, but with railings, so that people could safely enjoy the view. And the view was enjoyable; Yukio had never seen the Moon so big up in the sky. The river underneath them, and the rows of trees after that, all of it was shining in moonlight, creating a mesmerizing effect.

Yukio doesn’t know how long he was just lost in that scenery, when someone tugged at him.

As he looked at Amanda, she clutched his palm with both her hands, and whispered, “I hope you’re not mad at me. I understand you had a lot of questions, and didn’t get the answer to any of them. If you want, you can ask me. This time I won’t hold back.”

There was something in his head, something he was thinking for quite some time. “You said,” Yukio said absentmindedly, “Both your parents were Tracts…”

“What?” Amanda said, although he was sure she perfectly heard him.

“I said,” he looked her in the eyes, “You got your powers from your parents. Which means both of them were Tracts. So, were they also members of Minus Plus?”

Amanda looked at him for a few moments, wordlessly. Then, as if remembering something, she said, “Yeah. You are right. Sorry, I couldn’t tell you back then. Both of them are Tracts.”

“Okay,” he thought something for a bit. “So… how does someone become a Tract? I know it’s decided from birth, with the… seizures. Anyway, does it happen randomly?”

“No. That happens very rarely.”

Amanda was now facing him. “Look, Yukio, you don’t have to guess. Back then I was asked not to tell you much. Tetsuya-san was supposed to explain everything to you. She still will, but whatever I know, I can now freely share with you. And I’ve never lied to you, have I?”

“Except when you said you were interested in me, no.” Yukio said.

“Come on,” she puffed her cheeks again, “You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Would you have believed me if I told you the truth back then?”

“If you showed me, why not?” Yukio muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“I mean your powers! Obviously!”

Amanda started laughing, “Now this is the Yukio I remember. Anyway, so you want to know the conditions of someone being a Tract, right?”

As Yukio nodded, she continued, “You can say it is a natural phenomenon. Very rarely, and I mean very, very rarely, a tract is born from a normal couple. They are called ‘Naturals’. They are all of our ancestors. The last time a Natural was born was…”

She suddenly trailed away. Before Yukio could say anything, she suddenly said embarrassedly, “Can I say that tomorrow? The truth is, I don’t remember.”

He had to facepalm. “Just tell me what you do know!”

“Yes, yes,” she resumed, “So as I was saying, Naturals are born extremely rarely, and it may happen that they live their life normally, without ever realizing they have powers. That’s why the total number of tracts are so low. The number isn’t even in 4 digits.”

Yukio wanted to ask her about the number of Tracts in Japan, but didn’t get the chance. “So, there is one other way. If two Tracts… make a baby, then that baby also has a higher than usual reserve of Rima. Meaning, they can also be a Tract. And that is exactly how I, and everyone you saw tonight, became Tracts.”

Because your parents were Tracts, Yukio wondered. So does that mean…

“Were my parents also Tracts?”

This time Amanda paused a bit before answering. “The truth is,” she said, “I don’t know. They weren’t members of Minus Plus, that’s for sure.”

“So, does that mean,” After everything that happened today, Yukio was finally feeling a bit excited, “I am a ‘Natural’?”

“Yeah,” Amanda sighed, “It’s possible. It’s also possible your parents were Tracts as well, just didn’t know about it.”

Yukio was sulking, “And you call me a buzzkill.”

They both laughed.

After taking Yukio to his room, and returning to her own, Amanda made a phone call.

“So,” the voice from the other end said, “How did it go?”

“He figured it out. That he’s different.”

After a brief pause, the voice said, “It was to be expected. He doesn’t have to be sharp to figure that out. As long as he doesn’t understand the significance of it, there is no cause of alarm.”

“Yes. I understand.”

“So, he still doesn’t know about the other worlds?”

“No.”

“He still trusts you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now that Plan A was unsuccessful, we can no longer wait. Tell him everything he needs to know.”

Amanda was silent.

“He’s going to the next expedition. And this time, you’ll be the one who takes him.”

The call ended.