62.ii A Fry Cook Knows Hunger Too Well

Sun Ritsu

“Want a little advice, Sun Ritsu?” Zhaoling asked as they all watched as Sun Liu took her bows.

Wordlessly, and without looking away from the field, Ritsu nodded.

“Wherever it is you’d rather be… put yourself there.” Zhaoling paused so his words could sink in. “And stay for as long as you can.”

Ritsu closed his eyes, picturing in his mind his ideal setting. “Thank you, Senpai.”

That last part slipped out before Ritsu could catch himself. He looked apologetically at Zhaoling.

“I mean –”

Zhaoling cut him off with a rough pat on the back.

“S’okay. You would have made a good kohai. For what it’s worth.”

“Another piece of advice? Break your leg.” Sun Tie Quan interrupted. “Seriously. Break it. I have no desire to watch you suffer any further through this competition.”

“Are you actually concerned for Ritsu’s well being? Aww. I knew you had a soft side, Tie Quan!” Sparkplug said brightly.

“Yeah right.” Sun Tie Quan sneered as he leaned back in his chair and folded his beefy arms. “I can assure you that none of my sides are soft.”

The horn rang. Ritsu stood up a little too fast. His staff was already in his hand transformed into the shape that he found the most tolerable – a metal spatula.

I definitely don’t have enough qi for what I did last time, Sun Ritsu thought as he entered the middle of the arena. But he had enough training to sense that all that he needed was right here. The natural energy residing in the trash throughout the stadium was a good starting place. Yesterday he had somehow unlocked all of that potential and transformed it into one thousand and one extraordinary lunch heroes.

I need to do whatever I can to tap into it.

Ritsu steadied himself with a breath, trying to drown out the restless undercurrent of curiosity coming off of the audience.

“Woof! Woof!”

Ritsu shut his eyes, trying to tune out the eager voice rising above the others.

“You’ve got this, Ritsu! And remember that we’ve got your back!”

Ritsu blinked. He should have been trying to focus, but he couldn’t help looking over his shoulder to see who was cheering him on.

Mochou?

The homeless dog spirit waved a giant Lunch Hero sign with hearts drawn all over it. Ritsu recognized some other spirits filling up the same section – his old coworkers! Even the flamingo restaurant manager made it out.

“Gotta be honest, Chow. I don’t really know what this guy’s backstory is.”

“Understandable, Dan. That’s why I asked around during that long break. Apparently Sun Ritsu is a former employee of the Lunch Hero burger joint. It might explain why he has chosen to transform his staff into a spatula.”

“Oh! Look, Chow! I think he’s gonna finally do something! Hold on… did it already happen?”

In a matter of seconds, our idiotic hero was bent double and sweating profusely. He clutched the spatula with both hands, the hilt resting against his heaving abdomen.

Sun Ritsu’s legs shook as he attempted to stand up straight. The salt from his sweat burned his eyes, but he dared not lift his hand to wipe his brow. Because balancing on the flat face of the spatula was a solitary lunch hero. By the looks of it, this one was quite ordinary.

“Chow, did I miss something? Why does Sun Ritsu look so out of breath all of a sudden? He looks like he can barely stand.”

“I think he might have conjured that hamburger just now, but it all happened so fast. And now it appears that he’s using all of his strength to hold it up.”

“Don’t just stand there!” An angry spirit roared from the sidelines.

“What a loser!”

“Get off the stage!”

Someone broke Ritsu’s concentration by chucking an empty soft drink at him. More spirits joined in, showering our loser hero with paper trays, balled-up tin foil, and empty buckets of popcorn.

The judges deliberated briefly amongst themselves before coming to a consensus.

Sailor Sun’s voice took on an authoritative tone as she stepped out in front of the audience and announced, “I just received a warning from the arena officials that anyone else who throws another piece of trash will be escorted from the premises!”

Suri stole a worried glance in Ritsu’s direction. He averted his eyes and went back to protecting his lunch hero.

“Hey! Dontcha know Sevenfold Peach royalty when you see it? That’s right. You leave him alone!”

Mochou’s voice was the only thing keeping Ritsu together in that moment, Dear Traveler.

“He makes the best burgers of all time! All of ya are gonna regret sleeping on him!”

“Well, it would appear that Sun Ritsu has at least one spirit who looks up to him.”

“Sure thing, but what do you think, Chow? Is that performance lame enough to end up in a disqualification?”

“I think that we’re about to find out, Dan.”

The judges finally seemed to reach an agreement. The bull judge from Shonen Playground got up and approached Ritsu.

Shan Boshan was hands down the most intimidating of the judges. Powerfully built and nearly three times Sun Ritsu’s height, he sauntered onto the platform with a bored look on his bovine face.

“You done, man? Because we’ve got a long schedule ahead of us.” He glanced at his watch.

“Am I done?” Ritsu stared in bewilderment at the judge. Were they really going to kick him off the field?

“Yeah. Do you forfeit?” Boshan looked up from his watch. “Look, we’re trying to make sure you don’t pass out in front of everyone. Plus, the timer ran out and you ain’t got much to show for it.”

Ritsu glanced down at the ordinary lunch hero balancing on the flat end of the spatula. With much effort, he raised it a little higher. “B-but I –”

“Pft.” Boshan did his best to hold in his laughter. “Call that whatever you want, but this trial is for all things wondrous-and-true.” He pounded his fist in the palm of his hand for emphasis.

The attendees were getting worked up again. Sun Surina was doing all that she could to hold their attention with fun music and crowd-pleasing dances.

“Okay, let’s call it a day,” Boshan brought his hand to Ritsu’s back and gave him a little push. “You forfeit.”

“No! I don’t.”

If you can believe it, Dear Traveler, Sun Ritsu’s refusal was loud enough to catch the attention of the entire stadium. Sailor Sun’s music abruptly ended. The casters held their breaths.

Shan Boshan dropped the easy going smile and squared his shoulders.

“You what now?”

Ritsu took a step back. “I don’t forfeit.”

Then, realizing who he was talking to, he quickly bowed his head.

“At least try it first,” Ritsu dared to meet the bull spirit’s gaze. “Please. Try what I made.”

After adjusting his grip on his staff, the sun clone pushed it in Shan Boshan’s direction. He used every ounce of control that he had left to keep the spatula from shaking. Then he held it there, waiting for the judge to make his move.

The force of the bull spirit ripping the lunch hero off of the spatula nearly knocked Ritsu to the ground.

“Better be glad I’m so damn hungry. Un-freakin-believable.”

Shan Boshan rolled his eyes right before he took a massive bite out of the ordinary lunch hero. His powerful jaws made slight work of the grilled meat before he paused and clutched his chest as if he’d just been shot.

That’s when an explosion of barking ruptured the silence.

“Oh yeah! That’s my guy!”

It was Mochou again, shouting and hopping up and down from the sidelines.

“Did I lie? Did I lie when I told ya? That’s the guy who grills the best beef in the whole Ninth Heaven.”

Mochou shot to his feet and fired a punch to the sky.

“That’s my fry cook hero!”

Shan Boshan looked down at the half-eaten burger in his hand and back up at the sun clone.

“Fry Cook Hero,” the judge said, addressing Sun Ritsu. “Can you make… another one of these?”