I'll carry you
I honestly thought Akimitsu would not talk to me anymore after what happened in the nurse’s office a couple of days ago. But he was acting normal. Like nothing had happened.
“How about you try and be a little more open?” he asked.
“No. My mother told me that being too open means being weak and vulnerable. Some things can’t be shared with the world. You’ll understand one day,” I answered annoyed.
“I already do but I’m not telling you to tell me your darkest secrets. Like having a secret shrine of your favourite anime character that you are obsessed with. I’m just telling you to give people around you a chance to get to know you,” he explained.
“I don’t know where you get the idea from that I am obsessed with an anime character and possess a secret shrine,” I argued.
“You just missed my entire point,” he said laughing. “Also, it’s cute to see that you listen to your mother so well. And to our teachers as well. I would not have expected that from you.”
“Shut up. You’re being annoying. Of course I listen to my mother. Who would not? She’s the one who gave birth to me. If someone has the right to tell me what to do, then it’s her. And she was the one who told me to be good to teachers. My mother taught me to always behave in school. Teachers willingly want to educate the next generation, so I should be respectful to them. Especially high school teachers. They have to deal with the spawns of Satan every day. And of course you should be respectful to the ones that are older than you in age,” I told him off. He didn’t say anything back to me and just smiled. I just realised that I talk too much whenever I’m around him.
I took out my lunch from my bag before stepping out of the train. I walked over to a trash bin. My cup of coffee was already empty.
“Wow, hold on. What are you doing?” Akimitsu asked shocked and grabbed my arm.
“What does it look like to you? I’m throwing away my trash. And let go of me before I kick you between the legs,” I said and shook his arm off.
“Your lunch is not trash,” he said angered and grabbed it from me.
“It’s not but it will end up in the trash anyway today. I have a feeling,” I said and stared walking.
“Then I’ll have it,” he said and put it in his bag. He looked very happy.
“Does your mother never make lunch for you?” I asked jokingly.
“No because I don’t have a mother,” he said calmly. I felt a knot in my throat. He didn’t continue the conversation and neither did I.
The lunch break had started. I was sitting on the stairs that went up to the rooftop, trying to eat my curry bun but I had company. I never had company before. The door to the roof was locked and no one ever would come upstairs during lunch break. It was an irritating guy and an overly shy girl. They introduced themselves as friends of Akimitsu. Their names were Nakajima Isamu and Himura Yumiko. If I remember correctly, I don’t remember ever seeing these two in my life. I stayed quiet and ignored them.
“Oi, are you listening to me?” the guy asked. His voice was echoing and bouncing off the walls around us.
“Isa-chan, leave her alone,” the girl tried to convince him. She was trying to push him out of my face, but he was as solid as a rock. My usual response would be to tell them to fuck off, but I think I was restraining myself just because they told me that they were his friends. Something was wrong with me. Maybe I was just drained.
“Look, I just want to talk to you. Stop ignoring me,” he screamed at me. I poked the straw that came with my orange juice into the designated area. My grip was too strong, and some orange juice shot out of the straw and landed on the guy’s white shirt. He was screaming even more now. The girl tried to clean it off with her own white shirt. I wondered how stupid a human being possible could be and left them to their circumstance. It was a satisfying error on my side. But because it was unintentional, I didn’t have to apologise.
I came back to my seat to find my blazer missing from my chair. The windows were closed and most of the students had not returned yet from the lunch break. I looked around and found a note within my desk. It read that I should look in a place where I belong to. I walked over to the trash bin and took out my blazer that had been cut in half. I let out a sigh while Mrs Ito was lecturing me. She was really upset and told me that this was my second strike and that she would contact my parents if I misbehave a third time. I walked into the classroom before she could finish lecturing me.
“Who the fuck cut my blazer in half?” I asked in an enraged voice. There was actually no reason for me to ask who did it because I already knew who the culprit was. I recognised her handwriting and her ugly grin was confirming it. It was the girl with short hair who got rejected by Akimitsu. I walked over to her after grabbing my empty chair. I lifted it up into the air and wanted to smash it in her face. Akimitsu quickly grabbed the chair from behind me. Mrs Ito ran over and slapped me across the face. She told me that she was disappointed in me. I was sent to the principal’s office and my parents were called.
Disciplinary action was taken against me and I was suspended for a week. The time went by and yet again I was standing at my train station.
“Where’s your coffee?” Akimitsu asked.
“Didn’t feel like drinking one today,” I said.
“I like your new short hair. It suits you,” he said.
My hair that used to be long was short now. It reached just below my ears. I kept silent. No need for me to feel anything. Or say anything. It did not matter how my outer shell looked like. He was just trying to start a conversation, but I didn’t utter a word for the rest of the day. Nothing escaped my lips.