Chapter 2:

Choice

It's Here


...Should I take it? It's right there in front of me. All I need to do is move, just move my hand, it's simple. Just move. Stop being lazy and just MOVE already. I've been here long enough and I'll be back soon, I just gotta move. There! I'm doing it! See? It's not THAT hard I'm just being lazy!Bookmark here

" D O N T  L E A V E  Y E T..."Bookmark here

Sorry, but I have to, no, I NEED to... I know I've been here long enough and it's not like I won't be back. I'll come back, I'll ALWAYS be coming back. Not like I have a choice anyway. I'm already taking the medicine so I might as well do something. I mean, she said I need to put in some work as well if I want it to work. But... do I want it to? What would I do once it starts working? What would I do to fill the rest of my days? Even if the medicine does work, what about when I run out? What if I forget? It's not even like the medicine completely gets rid of the feeling, so what..?Bookmark here

"Ashley?"Bookmark here

"Oh...hey..."Bookmark here

"Did you take the medicine?"Bookmark here

"Yeah...I did but...I don't know what to do now."Bookmark here

"Well, do you have any work or something to keep you busy?"Bookmark here

"No...not really."Bookmark here

"Then, how about we go somewhere? I found this really nice place that doesn't have a lot of people, so we can just hang out for a bit. You up for it?"Bookmark here

"...Sure, I don't have anything else to do anyway."
Bookmark here

"Great! I'll get everything together, just bring some stuff you'll need like a bathing suit and stuff."Bookmark here

So it was Alexis who was talking to me. Makes sense, she's the only one who's been by my side lately. I mean... the beach doesn't sound like a bad place to be, and she said there'd be almost no one there, so I might as well go. I haven't been out for a while and I don't really know what to do with myself right now. I'll just wear some baggy pants and a light shirt, I don't really feel like revealing all that much, even if it's just the two of us. Bookmark here

"You ready?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, let's go."Bookmark here

Since it isn't too far from my house we were able to walk there. It felt so weird...being outside after so long. I've always really liked the beach so I bought a house near there for cheap, but despite living so close I haven't been all that often. The smell of the salt water felt refreshing and made me think. Maybe a bit too much...it's always done this to me, but I weirdly like it. I like where we're going. I guess the beach is really well hidden since we're walking through a ton of plants right now, but I like it, this fresh feeling feels...nice.Bookmark here

"We're here!"Bookmark here

"Wow, there really isn't anyone here.."Bookmark here

"Yeah, it's really well hidden! Since no one's here, I'm gonna go collect some rocks and shells and stuff, okay? Are you gonna be alright by yourself for a bit?"Bookmark here

"Yeah I'll be fine, I might find some rocks too while I'm at it."Bookmark here

"Hehe, okay then!"Bookmark here

I really can't, it's been so long since I last saw Ally all excited like that, its pretty cute, huh? But I'm over that now, so I need to move on, besides I wanted some time alone out here. I'll just sit over on this rock and think for a bit. Damn...just looking over the horizon of the sea really makes me think of how small I really am and how big this world really is. You always think places are smaller once you get used to them, but no matter how well I know every place of this earth, I don't think I can ever really comprehend how huge it is. Just thinking that makes me a bit emotional. Why? I don't really know, but I like it. I feel free, like I can do anything! A part of me even thinks I can beat this, I can get through this and get my life back on track. I'm already 23 and I feel I haven't moved at all since I became an adult. Am I supposed to have life figured out by now? No, no I'm not but...part of me feels like I'm falling behind. Ally already has most everything figured out and is doing well as far as I'm concerned, so... why can't I? Bookmark here

"This rock looks weird..."Bookmark here

"ASH, COME HERE!" Bookmark here

"...what? Wait! ARE YOU OKAY?"Bookmark here

"YEAH, JUST COME HERE I FOUND SOMETHING!Bookmark here

"OKAY!"Bookmark here

Damn she scared the shit outta me, what is it? A crab? A washed up carcass of some fish? What could it be? Even now I can never figure her out, nothings really changed, she just knows a bit more about me, and it's not the parts I wanted her to know...Bookmark here

"Look! Do you see it? It's over there!"Bookmark here

"Wait, is that a shark?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, I think? I don't know but I see a fin!"Bookmark here

"I've never seen something like that around here..."Bookmark here

"Of course not, you've only seen the crowded beach, they don't really go around there 'cause of the people. Isn't it cool?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, it is."Bookmark here

Oh no. I don't wanna feel like this anymore, I said I wouldn't, it's already over. I know what she said, so why can't I just get over it? I'm her friend, I'm supposed to be happy just being that, not anything else. Bookmark here

"C A N T  G E T  O V E R  H E R..?"Bookmark here

Shut up. I'm glad to just be by her side. I'm glad I can smile even when my head's like this, I don't want her to get any wrong ideas. I'm happy just being here with her. Just sitting here with her, watching the sunset, alone, with no one around, what else could I want? I want nothing more than this, so...I just need to get over it...Bookmark here

"C A N  Y O U  R E A L L Y..?"Bookmark here

"The sunset's really pretty, huh?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, it is...by the way, thanks for getting me out of the house today, I think I really needed this.."Bookmark here

"Aww, it's no problem! We can do it when ever you want, just ask!"Bookmark here

"Yeah, I will. Let's start heading back now, It's getting dark."Bookmark here

"Alright, let's do this again, okay?Bookmark here

"Yeah, let's do that.."Bookmark here


Bookmark here

It's Here


Bookmarked
You can resume reading from this paragraph.