Chapter 26:

"A beach chapter? Isn't that a bit clichéd?"

Tales of Virtual Shopkeeper

Isn’t it strange how there’s always one player in the hero’s group who has the role of a Shopkeeper? Haven’t you ever wondered who, in a world of endless possibilities, would ever choose to play the mundane role of a Shopkeeper? …That would be me, Yuu Watanabe. I get tons of customers with interesting tales to tell. The smiles on their faces as they tell me all about their latest quests and achievements is the greatest high in the world. And that is why I chose to be a Shopkeeper in Utopia Online... Of course, as I’m sure you’ve probably already guessed, I don’t spend all of my time playing this game. When I’m offline, I’m just your typical everyday third-year highschool girl.

I sat behind the Fantasy Shoppe's counter singing a song, in order to test that my new voice-changing headset was working properly.

Yume tagae, maboroshi no asamoya no sekai no kioku o…


I was interrupted by a familiar kappa walking into the Fantasy Shoppe, wearing a goofy grin on his face.

가람 – Level 1000 Inventor

“Hey there, Mister Mul,” I smiled.

“If it isn’t my good friend, the demon slayer himself – Duu Watari!”

“My name is ‘Yuu Watanabe’,” I sighed.

“Yeah, whatever you say,” GaRam Mul shrugged, “Listen, I’ve got good news.”

“Oh? What kind of news?”

“Due to your victory over the Demon King Mao, you and Miss Murphy have won a VIP trip to Utopia Online’s newest attraction!”

“Newest attraction?” I asked.


Welcome to Utopia Beach!’ That’s what the sign read.

“So this is Utopia Online’s newest attraction?” I asked.

There were already a ton of people here. So much for ‘VIP trip’!

“Hey, Yuu! You finally made it,” a familiar voice called out.

I turned around to see my Rogue friend wearing a green bikini with white polka-dots.

Aya Murphy – Level 493 Rogue

“Oh, hey Dorothy. Nice bikini,” I said whilst slightly blushing.

“I told you to call me ‘Aya Murphy’ when we’re playing this game,” she pouted, “Anyway, where’s your chakusui?” [TL note: Chakusui = Water landing. Dorothy gets chakusui confused with the word mizugi (swimsuit), due to the fact that the characters in chakusui (着水) are the same ones used in mizugi, but reversed.]

“That’s not even close,” I sighed, “And no, I don’t have a swimsuit with me. Mister Mul didn’t tell me where we were going.”

“Didn’t I?” the kappa Inventor asked, “Whoops-a-daisy, my bad.”

“You omitted that on purpose, didn’t you?” I asked, my eyes narrowing as I stared daggers at Mister Mul.

“What can I say,” he shrugged, “I’m not into shirtless men.”

I didn’t even hesitate to give him a smack on the back of the head.

You have failed the test,” I jeered.

“Ow,” he muttered, “Why does it matter? You can just strip down to your boxer shorts anyway.”

“I’m going commando,” I stated bluntly.

“Don’t worry, Yuu,” Dorothy interjected, “I’ve got a spare chakusui!”

Mister Mul had left to attend to ‘other matters’, leaving me and Dorothy alone.

“You have got to be joking,” I sulked, adjusting Dorothy’s spare swimsuit.

“What’s wrong? It’s cute,” the Rogue cooed.

“It’s a bikini-bottom,” I complained, pulling the tight garment out of my buttcrack with a loud ‘snap!’, “A bikini-bottom for women. It doesn’t exactly fit my avatar’s… figure.”

A pink bikini with a floral print. While I personally prefer one-piece swimsuits, I could probably pull off this look in real life nevertheless... Unfortunately for me, this isn’t real life and, quite frankly, I currently look completely ridiculous.

“I think it’s a pretty nice fit,” Dorothy smirked, wiggling her eyebrows as she stared down at my avatar’s crotch.

“What if we run into someone I know? I’d die of embarrassment!”

“Hey,” a male voice called out, “Aren’t you that High Elf Shopkeeper?”

I looked around to locate the source of the voice and (surprise, surprise) it was someone that I knew.

Dan Steele – Level 62 Knight

“Long time no see, Watanabe” the Knight beamed, running up to us.

“It’s only been a couple of weeks,” I stated, “Nice swimwear by the way.”

His plain blue swimming trunks were quite skimpy, showing off a larger-than-average portion of his rather muscular legs. I’d love nothing more than to frolic on the beach with this hunky dreamboat all day long! But I clearly wasn’t the only one smitten by his physique – Dorothy was practically salivating, her fingers twitching as she stared up at the man’s bare muscles. (Wow, I guess she really is a pervert, huh?)

“Your swimwear is cute too, Watanabe,” Dan smiled, “Those flowers are very pretty!”

“Th-thanks,” I blushed, covering the front of my embarrassing bikini-bottoms with one of my avatar’s hands.

“Who’s your friend, Yuu?” Dorothy asked, getting extremely close to Dan and nonchalantly running a finger down the center of his chest.

“Uh… h-hi there, ma’am,” he blushed, his eyes clearly fixated on the Rogue’s exposed cleavage. Either she was completely oblivious to his awkward staring, or else she just didn’t care.

“This is Dan Steele,” I said, stepping in between the two newly-established lovebirds and pushing them apart, “He came to the Fantasy Shoppe looking for some cloth--”

“I don’t care,” Dorothy interrupted, shoving me out of the way to continue flirting with Dan.

“Hey, big boy~ Can you help me put on some suntan lotion please?”

Darn it, I was just about to ask him the exact same thing! Now Dorothy O’Dougherty is going to have that dreamboat all to herself!

“I-I’d love to, ma’am. In fact, I could use some sunscreen as well… B-but I’m afraid that I didn’t bring any with me.”

Suddenly, I had a brilliant, spectacular idea. It was so brilliant and so simple that I even surprised myself. I’d have my hands all over Dan’s abs in no time!

“I have sunscreen,” I stated, materializing a bottle of lotion from within my inventory.

“You’re a lifesaver, Watanabe,” Dan smiled, “Do you mind applying some of your creamy goodness to my avatar’s body?”

“Not at all,” I replied.

Dorothy leered at me. Not so slick now, are you, O’Dougherty?

“Fine, whatever,” she sighed, giving into her defeat, “But make sure that there’s enough suntan lotion for me, too.”

Dorothy had taken a blanket out of her inventory and lay it down on the sand. Dan was currently lying on his back while she was lying on her front. I couldn’t help but take a quick glance over to her avatar’s backside – Her O-ring bikini-bottoms had wedged themselves quite far between her cheeks, making her butt look extra perky, but that wasn’t what I was after. I was looking for something far juicier…

I looked over at the Knight, the sweat drops all over his sexy body were gleaming brightly in the sunlight. I bit my lip as I squirted some sunscreen into my hands. Without hesitation, I placed one hand on each of his pecs and began to rub them slowly.

“Ah,” he moaned, his eyes closed underneath his sunglasses, “You’re pretty good at this, Watanabe.”

“W-well, it isn’t really that difficult.”

I moved my hands further down his body, caressing his six-pack as I applied the sunscreen. I made sure to spend time rubbing each and every one of his abs individually. His avatar’s body was beautiful – A work of art that had to be appreciated, right down to the finest of details. It was as if Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni himself had come back from beyond the grave to sculpt this masterpiece.

“Hey! What about me, Yuu?” the Rogue asked, ruining my special moment.

I momentarily stopped rubbing Dan’s glorious body as I stood over Dorothy. I squirted a line of sunscreen right down the center of her back.

“There you go, Aya. Knock yourself out.”

“You have to rub it in, Yuu.”

“Rub it in yourself, I’m busy.”

I turned back towards Dan Steele and started rubbing my hands down his bulbous legs. As I finished lathering his body in sunscreen, I stared out in front of me, examining the other beachgoers. There were actually quite a few people that I knew here.

Asami Usami was playing beach volleyball with Chris Hacksaw and a girl that I didn’t recognize (presumably Homura Usami, the third member of the Modern Crusaders Guild), her bikini-clad breasts bouncing with each spike. (Not that I was focusing on her breasts of anything…)

Rose_the_Deathbringer and Smooth Criminal were splashing each other in the water, while ~Schrödinger~ watched nervously. (I guess the catboy had a fear of water? How fitting.) He was wearing a frilled black and purple one-piece swimsuit, which definitely wasn’t helping to avoid the confusion about his avatar’s sex.

Kiran and Lyre Sonnet were sharing an ice-cream cone with each other while wearing matching swimwear. (I guess Mii’s confession must have worked out? Well, good for him I guess.)

Meiko and Jo from the Basilisk no Shita restaurant were having a conversation with Lyca Wolfgang Barker about who-knows-what, while relaxing on some deck chairs.

Mister Mul was definitely exaggerating earlier when he said that this was a ‘VIP trip’, but I guess I didn’t really care. It was nice to see everyone I knew having a good time. Plus, the next time that they visited the Fantasy Shoppe, they’d probably have interesting stories to share about this place.

The next day, I sat in my usual position behind the counter minding my own business, when I heard the doorbell ring.


Before me stood a rather annoyed Aya Murphy.

“What’s the craic, Dorothy?” I asked.

“Don’t you ‘what’s the craic’ me, Yuu! Look at me,” she yelled, gesturing her body. Her avatar’s skin normally had a slight tan, but it looked a lot darker today.

“What happened?”

“What do you think happened? You forgot to rub that suntan lotion onto my skin!”

“Chill out, Dorothy,” I said, “It’s just a game, so it doesn’t really matter if your body is sunburned.”

“Yes, this is a game... A game with very real pain physics! And you think it doesn’t matter?!”

“My bad,” I shrugged.

Dorothy O’Dougherty sighed, before equipping her trademark iron gauntlet from her inventory.

“D-Dorothy,” I stammered, “Wh-what are you going to do with that gauntlet?”

“It’s time for a little Fukushima,” she smirked. [TL note: Fukushima is a prefecture in Japan. Dorothy gets the word confused with fukushuu (payback).]