Chapter 0:

Prologue

Leaf Amidst the Withering Sakura Tree


My name is Kazuya Sasaki and I'm a 2nd Year student. This is just a quick rundown of how I got to where I'm at now.

 These past few months have been a train wreck and it keeps going further and further downhill as I go on. I keep telling myself that it's going to be alright, but deep down I know that this World is out to get me. 
Somewhere, some place, I will bite the dust and be free from this Endless Spiral of Pain.

All this started with the sudden death of my late father, he was killed in the line of duty defending our freedom. It felt unreal, one day we were messaging on Line about what we were going to do when he came back, then the next day, the officer came to our house and delivered us his flag and boots. 

I was absolutely devastated, my heart broke into a million pieces. My smiling and charming mother turned into a solemn and sorrowful mess. Who could blame her though, she loved my father for many years and to lose him so suddenly? It would break anyone's heart.
The day of the funeral came around and I was readying myself to see him one last time....
As I stood before him, I touched his cold hand and broke down in front of everyone..
I didn't care who saw me crying, I fell to my knees and cried.. my heart poured out over the altar..
My hero, my best friend, my inspiration, my father... was not in this World anymore..

I looked up to the sky and shouted 
"Why!?"
My cousins came and lifted me up and began to take me to the back..
I looked back at my father one last time and said "Goodbye dad.. I love you.."

I couldn't handle being there any longer, I then went outside into the parking lot and screaming into the sky pleading for him to come back!
The day of the burial came around and I was a palm bearer for him. Just the fact that I carried my father to his final resting place kept shattering me. We all put our memorials on his casket and when it was my turn, I took my favorite picture of us and placed it on top..
I then placed my hand over his coffin once more and said my goodbyes through many tears and sobs. I then watched my mother cry over the coffin after me and I couldn't stand it so I walked away with my head down..
My cousins tried taking me out somewhere but I simply refused, I didn't want to do anything..
I just went back to an empty home with my little sister and mother..

That was just the Pinnacle of the Endless Nightmare I was throw into. I had no idea what was waiting for me afterwards..
Soon after that day, my mother had to press down her emotions and take another job, my little sister moved with my grandparents because my mom couldn't support the both of us. Seeing my sister pack her things and leave also left an eternal scar over my heart. It felt like she was just leaving me behind. I gave her all my contact information and told her to keep in touch.

My mother began to drink away the sorrows... She then picked up gambling... and now she's in an endless spiral of insanity, repeating this pattern over and over again..
Before I knew it, in 2 months time, we couldn't afford to live in our home anymore and had to sell the house. I remember my last day being the most difficult time of my life..
Saying goodbye to all my friends who I grew up with and saying goodbye to my old high school crush was downright agonizing.. 
I also remember saying goodbye to my old room, it broke my heart..
It felt as though I lost everything close and dear to me..
My sister hadn't spoke to me in over 2 months, she never responded to my texts or calls.. it really felt as though she abandoned me or didn't love me anymore.. 

I remember the day we moved to our new home... It was a junky old one bedroom apartment that was on the market for really cheap. My mother took the bedroom and I took the living room. I was out of school for awhile, I didn't want to go back. 
Since the walls were so thin, I was able to hear everything in the house. Every night, I heard my mothers soft cries even though I can tell she tried hiding them, it broke my heart. I couldn't take it anymore.. I was so done with everything..
One day I felt like just running away from everything, I didn't know where to, but I wanted to run.. Somewhere far away.. somewhere where the past can't find me..
I began to prepare for this, I packed up my stuff while my mom was at the casino one day and I went to sleep on the couch one last time.

That very night I had a dream that would change my destiny forever. In my dream, I saw my father.. and he spoke to me..
He told me "Kazuya, where are you going?"
I answered back to him "Dad! Dad! Where are you!? Please come home and talk to mom! Please come home already!!"
There was so much I wanted to tell him.. but that was all that came out..
He called back to me "Kazuya let me speak.. Don't leave your mother behind.. she needs you more than anything.."
"You're all she has left.. without you Kazuya.. she will lose herself.."
"Kazuya, please be there for her, she loves you dearly and she needs you.."
"Please Kazuya, do it for me.. be there for me."
"I'm going away now.. Kazuya, tell your mother I love her and wish her the best, tell her to find someone new and be happy again.."
"Please Kazuya, do what's right in life and keep being the brave young man I taught you to be! I will always watch over you and keep you safe.."
"One day we will meet again my son, till then please keep pushing and never let go!"
"I love you my son! Goodbye! We will meet again someday!"

I called out back to him "DAD! NO DAD PLEASE DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!"
"DAD PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU! DAD!!!!"
He then waved his arm and answered back one last time 
"Always fight on Kazuya, I will always be proud of you my son.."

I reached out my hand towards him and kept calling him over and over again, then like a fleeting dream, he faded away in a white cloud.. I awoke soon after that..
I found myself crying as I woke up..

I looked for my phone and called my mom to come home immediately!
She hurried home and came barging into the room to find me crying on the couch.
She put her arms around me and I looked at her with my teary eyes.
I told her all that I heard in the dream and all my father told me to tell her.. 
She broke down, she cried in my arms.. She began to apologize to profusely, she cried and cried.. and so did I.

My mother never drank or gambled again, she began working full time again and our income became steady. My dads last words to me also brought new life into me, I decided after awhile that it was time to go back to school! My mother then asked me if I was sure about this and I confidently said yes! I was then enrolled into Sakura Blossom Academy after being away from school for about 4 months. It was finally time for change! Dad just watch! I will make you proud and carry on your legacy! Thanks dad for our last talk together, without it, I would've given up long ago! 
Tomorrow I start my first day at the new school, I'm nervous but also extremely excited! Like I said, this has all been a quick rundown of the previous months that brought me where I'm at now, there's more but we should save it until the appropriate time.. 

No more tears, it's time to get up and do something with myself! Things are finally looking up! Hopefully my life turns around for the better.. thank you for encouraging me Dad, I will forever miss you..

A.A.Androun
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