Chapter 5:

Royal Problems (2)


“Marion!?” the king shouted. “What are you doing!?”

My thoughts exactly.

Well, I knew what she was doing, but I want her to get off of me already!

She could’ve just run in and yelled for them to stop, but instead she just had to tackle me also!

What the heck!

Don’t you have any decency at all?! Jumping on top of a stranger like this…

This is annoying.

“You can’t kill him!” Marion yelled. Marion’s the name of the princess in case you forgot.

“He saved my life,” she continued. “So I won’t let you kill him!”

“Marion, please get off of him…” the king said. “We aren’t going to kill him.”

“R-really?” she looked up at him with a look of surprise on her face.

“Marion, did you even think to read the room before doing something rash?”

“No,” she said. “Because, if I had come too late and then stopped to read the room, he might’ve been beheaded or something…”

“We don’t behead people in the throne room,” the lizard man sighed.

“S-so, you’re not going to hurt him?” she asked.

“We haven’t decided upon that yet,” the king said.

Marion’s grip then tightened around me.

Damn, why is she so strong!? I can feel the air being squeezed out of my lungs!

“No Father! I won’t let anyone hurt him!”

“Princess Marion,” the lizard man began, “He may have sssaved you, but there’s a ssussspiciouss air around him. Right now he’sss-sstill under the effectss of the truth ssspell, sso I have one final quessstion for him.”

He then turned to me. Well, I guess Marion was right on top of me so he didn’t really have to turn all that much.

“What was your reason for saving the Princess?”


I guess there’s no way to avoid this. If I lie they’ll know, and I’ll get hurt on top of whatever happens to me after all of this.

And after she had gone to all this trouble to try and help me too…

“My reason for saving her…” I started. “It was a purely selfish reason. The truth is something bad happened to me and now I’m lost without any means of survival. So when I saw that thug in the alleyway threatening her, I saw it as the perfect chance to get some rich girl in my debt so I could use her. I only helped her so I could help myself…”

As I talked I felt a burning sensation in my forehead. When I finished speaking the burning then turned to stinging as it tore through my flesh.


W-What The Hell!!!!

What Is This Pain!?!!

What happened!?!?!?!!!

“The truth spell…!” I heard the lizard man gasp.

The pain didn’t stop with one mark, it kept on going.

Two marks.

Three marks.

Four marks in all.

I couldn’t see my forehead, but I could feel the pain as it carved through my skin. It was spelling something out.

~L I A R~

What did I lie about?

I told the truth just now…

Didn’t I?

I heard the lizard man speak again.

“The spell only goes to such extreme lengths when-”

“-when the person under its influence tells the exact opposite of the truth,” Marion finished.

But… If I was telling the exact opposite of the truth then…

Why did I save her? Why is it different than what I remember?

Maybe I could figure out if I didn’t have this searing pain in my head.

“With this development, I’d like to announce that I’m choosing him for ‘that’.”

And now we’re back to “that”. What is it?

“Y-you can’t be serious.” the king gawked.

“Th-that’s far too rash Princess.” the lizard man followed.

Marion then got off me, finally, and rose to her feet.

“My decision is final,” she said. “And I have a good reason as to why. It won’t ease your minds, but you’ll at least be able to see my reasoning.”

“Then let’s hear your reason,” the king said.

“Although,” the lizard man said. “Thisss boy can sspeak ssserpent tongue-”

“Correction if I may,” Marion interrupted, “but I believe he should be able to speak, read, and understand any language he comes across.”


Well, it’s not like me being able to do that would surprise me, being a summoned hero and all. But why the hell does she know that?

Something’s not adding up…

She then walked over to the king and the lizard man spoke in a voice too low for me to make out. I probably could’ve listened in if not for the searing pain from the marks that the truth spell made.

Damn it… Why does it hurt so fricking much?

After she finished explaining whatever it was, Marion walked back over to where I was.

“Guards, take those chains off of him this instant,” she commanded.

With confused looks, they turned their gazes to the king, who looked like he was still contemplating what she had just told him.

With an annoyed pout on her face, Marion then slipped her slender fingers in between my wrists and the shackles and-

Tore them apart like cheap cloth!

Damn! How strong is she?!

“Marion!” the king yelled. “You can’t just break the chains! We reuse those!”

“Chains are cheap while freedom is priceless,” she said before ripping apart the shackles on my ankles too. “Are you alright?”

I forced myself to sit up before trying to answer her, but I couldn’t think of what to say. I don’t want to slip up again.

I touched the marks on my forehead and let out a painful groan.

“Oh right, those markings should be making it harder for you to think through what you’re trying to say,” Marion said as she knelt down to my level. “Honestly, I’ve always thought the truth spell was a little harsh, although I still see why it’s necessary… Here, let me get that for you…”

She then grabbed the hand I had held up to my forehead and pulled it down, putting her other hand there. On her palm I felt a warm liquid, it was blood, her blood.

She smeared her blood around the marks on my forehead, and I slowly felt the pain fade away. As she pulled her hand away I noticed two things:

There was a cut on her hand that was slowly mending itself, and her blood was purple.

“All better now, right?” she asked.

Don’t talk to me like I’m a fricking child!

“Y-yeah, thanks…”

She then stood up and turned back towards her father.

“I’ve made my decision and told you my reasons for doing so,” she said in a very matter-of-fact tone. “Please forgive me for acting without consulting you or getting permission, but I did what I felt I needed to. I wish to know what you plan to do now that you know what I’ve done.”

“You’ve backed all of us into a corner, Marion,” the king said. “I just hope you haven’t made a horrible mistake…”

“So shall we continue forward with ‘that’?”

“I ssupossse we ssshall…” the lizard man said.

“Thank you for your assistance and understanding,” she said with a bow before walking over to join them. “If you would please undo the truth spell, Lizard Wizard.”

That’s… not his name, right? It’s just so… so lazy.

The lizard man then waved his hand and the black and white light flew out of my mouth, taking with it the strange energy.

That dumb spell is finally gone.

“Now father, would you please explain the situation to him?” Marion asked.

The king sighed.

“I have recently been informed that you’re a su-”

Marion then kicked him in the back of his ankle.

“-street rat of some sort with no idea what’s going on. So allow me to explain it to you.”

I guess you could say that’s true, it’s easily the best way to interpret that information. But…

What was he about to say before she kicked him?

Something that started with “su-”

“I am Pink Head Blazebane,” the king said.

What’s up with these names? Some are normal while others are… I don’t even know what adjective to use.

“I am the king of Lavaland. This is Lizz, formally known as Lizard Wizard, my royal advisor and the court magician. And this is my daughter Princess Marion Blazebane,” he said while gesturing to them respectively. “Now that the formalities are out of the way, you may rise.”

I hadn’t even realized I was still on my knees.

I rose to my feet.

“Now, explain the situation Lizz.”

“Yess my liege,” Lizz said. “Prinecsssss Marion’ss flair is called Demonic Fury-”

So powers are called flairs here?

“-You’ve already experienced the passive aspects of it: increased physical strength and elixir-like blood. She can also activate a demonic transformation, and we believe that she may also have a dormant kaiju form, which brings about a rather obvious problem…”

“What problem?” I asked.

“I guessss we would have to explain that too, wouldn’t we…?” Lizz muttered under his breath before continuing. “The last demon kaiju was Bellum, the Great Kaiju of Chaosss. For about one hundred sseventy yearsss Bellum caused chaoss and dessspair all throughout Thloria wherever it and itsss cult, M.A.T.H., went, and people fear that the Princesssss will end up doing the ssame-”

So a classic ‘there’s an evil power sealed away within the princess’ type deal? Not my favorite trope, but I can definitely work with this. I think I can see where this is going.

“-Thisss posssssibility is making the other kingdomss nervousss. In fact, the three bordering kingdomssss, Osssea, Kendela, and Sssspurrlandia have demanded that we hand her over and have the Fortissmul Alliance decide what to do with her. Of coursse the king and I told them we’d sssooner eat our own droppingsss, and then they ressponded by declaring that they’d go to war if we didn’t.

“Ssso after a tassteful dissplay off maturity in which we ate our droppings in front of them they declared war for sssome reasson,” Lizz said. “Sso currently we not only have the moral high ground but we alsso have an ongoing war with three other kingdomsss at the moment. Fortunately for uss, Lavaland hasss alwayss been a military sssuperpower and we have been able to defend our borderss thus far.

“But even as a military sssuperpower, fighting three kingdomss at once isss, well… draining,” Lizz said. “Even though we expected as much, the other kingdomsss are now sssending asssassssinsssss. And one managed to get into the walls of our capital no less, getting all the way to Princess Marion before we could notice. Sssuch a feat wouldn’t have been possssible, if not for the amount of effort expended due to the current triple war.

“It hasss become apparent to uss that we are not able to protect Marion and fight on three frontsss by oursselvesss. And we have no alliesss we could entrusst the princesss to in good faith,” he continued. “So we recently thought of a plan.”

So you want me to guard her, right? Because I took down the Liquid Assassin or whatever?

Hate to break it to you but I barely beat him.

Actually, I’m pretty sure I didn’t, he just ran away because the guards came.

Well, it’s not like I’m gonna say all that anyway…

“We have determined a ssafe location the princess would be able to ssstay at until thiss bussinesss is over,” Lizz said. “The FuzzyCoats Academy for Aspiring Adventurers located in Paxsssilva. It’sss perfect becausse Paxssilva is indifferent to the war, and the teachersss at FuzzyCoatsss would be able to protect Princess Marion better than even we could. The only problem isss getting her there.

“We can’t very well waltzzz in with our entire army, who knowsss what could happen. We need a ssmall inconsspicuousss way to transssport her to Dragonss Hollow, but any prominent figuresss like the king or myssself would draw too much attention. Sssso we need sssomeone capable of protecting the princesssss while also keeping a low profile.

“You at least sssseem capable of the firsst thing,” Lizz said. “But the reason you’re here isss becausse you couldn’t keep a low profile. Quite frankly I don’t think this isss-ssuch a good idea. But I guessss it’ss a bit too late, for ssuch thoughts merely become hindsssight.”

I don’t get what’s going on here. What could Marion have told them that would make them change their minds so abruptly?

Regardless of that, this sounds like an escort mission. I just have to get her to this place in one piece right? Sounds simple enough.

“So, the gist of it is that you want me to get her to this FuzzyCoats place safely, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” the king answered. “Although there are a number of complications.”

Of course there are…