Chapter 1:

That's the Dorm

Daigaku Kyuuai no Kuronikuru – College Courtship Chronicle

Chapter 1 – That’s the Dorm

After Mr. Fleming departed, Maximilian Lovegood was alone with his new dormmate, the incredibly sexy Japanese exchange-student Kuru Kuroni. (Although realistically speaking, she was only a 5-out-of-10, maybe a 6-out-of-10 on a good day. Maxie just has very low standards…) Had the god of good fortune finally blessed Maxie with a girlfriend?! There was only one way to find out! So what are you waiting for, dude?! Talk to her!

“Ahem,” Maximilian coughed, clearing his throat. “You come here often?”

What kind of freaking pickup line is that?! No wonder you’re a maidenless virgin!

“Nope, this is my first time,” Kuru replied without any hint of irony, staring blankly at her dormmate.

…A minute passed with no more words exchanged between the two. Then two minutes passed. And then two more. And then… Holy crap, just ask her out already, man! It’s not that difficult, gosh!

“Hey, uh, I never introduced myself,” Maximilian blushed, scratching his short white hair. “I’m Maximilian Lovegood, but my friends call me ‘Maxie’.”

That was a lie. Maxie doesn’t have any friends. The only person who calls him Maxie is me, and I’m just a disembodied voice screaming into the void which we call ‘Life’.

“Pleased to meet you, Maximilian-sama,” Kuru said with a poised look.

Sama?! While he was admittedly a little bit disappointed that she hadn’t called him ‘Maxie’, ‘Maximilian-sama’ does have a nice ring to it… Y’know, if you’re a narcissistic douche. But what was with that girl’s expression? Her face showed no emotion whatsoever as she addressed Maximilian with such a respectful title.

Could it be, Maxie thought, could she be… playing hard to get?

Well done, Maxie-sama! What an astute observation! …Or at least it would be, if you were actually correct. In actuality, her blank facial expression means nothing. Kuru is simply being afflicted by what scientists have come to know as ‘no thoughts, head empty’. Of course, our lovestruck loser didn’t know that, so that wasn’t going to stop him from trying to shoot his shot.

“So, uh… You called me ‘sama’?” Maximilian asked. “Is there any particular reason that you chose to address me as such?”

“Uh-huh. Sure thing, lol.” Kuru wasn’t listening. The various knickknacks in her new dorm were too much for her little brain to comprehend, and thus her attention was, for no real reason, fixated onto a lamp in the corner of the room.

“Is it possible that you were trying to flirt with me?”

No answer. Kuru’s attention had shifted to the king-size bed that covered about a third of the floorspace.

Oh man, she’s definitely playing hard to get, the boy thought to himself. Your little schoolgirl-crush is so obvious, Kuru Kuroni. You must be aware that you’re in the presence of a genius prodigy!

Nope, not even close, compadre. This girl probably doesn’t even know the definition of ‘flirting’… Although at this stage, I doubt that Maxie does either.

“Oi,” Kuru said, interrupting the man’s postulating. “Can I have the left?”

“Huh?” Maxie asked, confused.

“The left side of the bed. I want it, lol.”

“It doesn’t matter which side of the bed is yours,” he chuckled.

“Yes, it does” Kuru snapped. “Back at my mansion, I always slept on the left side of the bed!”

“Piss off,” Maxie lamely retorted. “I’m sleeping on the left side!”

“But you just said that it doesn’t matter,” the girl protested.

“And since it doesn’t matter, you have no problem with me sleeping on the left side?”

“I never said that it didn’t matter,” Kuru barked, removing her black tie.

“What are you doing?” the boy sighed.

“Getting into bed,” Kuru replied, sticking out her tongue as she slipped out of her dress. “Lol, you can’t have the left side if I get there first.”

Maximilian could only blush as he stared at Kuru slowly, slowly undressing herself, revealing more and more of her tantalizing body. Her dainty little figure, her slender legs, and that absolutely huge a-- OK, we get it! Maxie thinks she’s hot! Gosh, if I have to describe this chick’s bland-ass body any longer, I am seriously gonna be sick…

Maxie was frozen in place as Kuru stood in her underwear. His body was as stiff and hard as a statue. (And maybe something else was stiff and hard, if y’know what I mean?) Her lacy delicates had paralyzed him like a thundershock, and it was super effective!

Damn it, Kuroni. You really know how to tease a guy…

Before Maximilian realized it, Kuru had already climbed into the king-size bed and made herself comfortable in his preferred spot.

“Oyasumi, Maximilian-sama!”

“You can’t use ‘oyasumi’ and ‘sama’ in the same sentence! Are you trying to be formal or informal?!”

Kuru (the dumbest girl at Saint Rosencrantz’s) had just outwitted Maxie (the smartest boy at Saint Rosencrantz’s) – And to add insult to injury, she hadn’t even realized it! Of course, Maxie could just wait for another opportunity to get into bed before her, but if he ever tried to claim the left side again, it would prove that he did think it mattered after all!

“You win this round, Kuroni,” Maximilian muttered. “Goodnight to you too.”

“Hey, wait a second! You can’t go to sleep now! Mr. Fleming told me to show you around the campus!”

“OK then,” Kuru beamed, leaping out of bed. “Let’s go right away, lol!”

“Put on some damn clothes,” Maxie blushed.


And so, Maxie showed Kuru around the college (after she had changed back into her dichromatic uniform, of course), making sure to hold her hand the entire time. Great job, Romeo. It musta been so hard for you to muster up the courage to hold another human-being’s hand! Well –Plot twist!– Kuru was too distracted by Saint Rosencrantz’s impressive scenery to even notice that you were holding her hand! Better luck next time, Maximilian-sama!

(To be continued…)