Chapter 1:

0.1. Aye Aye Miss!

We Got 'Shipped' by the Goddess


<Avner Franc>

The evening cicadas chirped, the owls went woo~

Titling my office bag to greet the guard with a wide smile, I made my way past the entrance to the apartment complex. The guard gave me a concerned look since I was tipsy from having a drink with my wimpy first boss who needed some love guidance.

Thereupon I reached the stairs. I gazed upon this treacherous trail with a grimace.

How I wish this place had an elevator.

I began climbing– burp– wobbling at each step.

One step, two steps. One floor, two floors..

Propping myself with the walls, I made my way down the spinning corridor. I reached my apartment. Home sweet home..

Huh? Is it just me or did I forget to turn off the lights? Shoot, my electric bill..

I found my key and quickly inserted it into the lock. I pushed the door open.

And standing there waiting at the entrance was the girl with ocean blue hair.

"You're surprisingly more astute than I thought, Avner. Turning a blind eye to a girl lying on the open road.."

A dangerous smile bloomed on her face.

– She was the girl who I left on the street yesterday.

===

Going back to the day I first stumbled upon that suspicious girl. I assumed that it was like any other normal day in the office.

Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak.

My face pressed against the monitor screen..

Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak.

Fingering the keyboard like an octopus with 10 tentacles.

Tak. Tak…

I compared the data on the paper spreadsheet to the one on the monitor.

Tak. Tak.

Perfect.

"Finally.."

I leaned back and rested my spine against the soft cushion of the arm chair. Utter bliss.

To Miss..

My fingers inched forward, adding three more letters..

Autocorrect detected.

Enter.

Send.

"Mister Avner."

"Ah yes? What is it, kouhai?"

The elf who was sitting in one cubicle in front of me, called out. Xe was a new colleague that joined the administration office no more than 4 months ago. Hence why I call hir 'kouhai'.

Auburn coloured hair weaved into beautiful locks which hung loosely to the side; concern reflected in hirs sparkly emerald eyes. Hirs pointy ears bounced, warning me that I should probably fix my mistake, otherwise I'd get into big trouble.

I did CC the email to hir so xe saw what I did.

As an aside, this world has 3 gender roles. Male, female, elf.

If a male copulates with a female. It's the female who becomes pregnant.

If a female copulates with an elf. It's the elf who becomes pregnant.

If a male copulates with an elf. It's the elf who becomes pregnant.

Elves can be further divided into male and female dispositions, and they have the choice to choose which they want to dress up as. Their mating organ for the elf gender remains the same across the board of course (not going in depth to explain here.. use your imagination!).

And the ratio for visible breasts to flat chest for elves is 3:7. My kouhai is part of the unlucky group.

Don't tell hir I said that.

Oh, and new genders means new words you need to learn. Yay~

Male, Female, Elf.

He, She, Xe.

His, Her's, Hirs.

Him, Her, Hir.

Dad, Mom, Aei.

Father, Mother, Aether.

Son, Daughter, Irul.

Boy, Girl, Elf.

Brother, Sister, Etler.

There are certain words like husband and wife, miss and mister, which do not have a third variation.

And yes. A family of 3 individuals is not a harem in this world.

"Is Pu Erh tea a thing? I've never heard of it."

"It is a thing. You can search for it online. There are a lot of health benefits to drinking Pu Erh tea, you know?"

".. I don't know why it feels so wrong to hear that coming directly from you."

"You want one, I have a few sachets of the instant ones in my bag.."

I was about to reach over to pick up my office bag when I heard the creak of a door behind me.

{WARNING: YOU ARE BEING TARGETED}

Purple strings of words flashed in front of me.

Sorry miss, don't kill me. It's a joke! A joke!

Her office and the main office are two different rooms. The only thing separating both is a nice 1 inch thick glass wall. And for some reason I was sitting in a spot where she can oogle at what I was doing by looking over her computer.

Does she like the view of the back of my head so much?

Clack. Clack.

The sounds of her high heels reverberated throughout the office, tension rose at each step. Closer.. closer..

She stopped right behind me.

"Avner."

"Y-yes, your eminence?"

I dared not turn to face her.

A strong hand gripped my shoulder.

I shan't yield!

"What did you call me?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Her grip on my shoulders tightened. She tried to force me to meet her gaze but I resisted! I could almost hear the sound of my joints creaking. Wait no, it's already broken.

"What is my name again? Could you spell it out for me?

"Pu'er Julis, P-U-E-R J-U-L-I-S, Ma'am."

She leaned over; my heart skipped.

The fragrant smell of her hair tickled my nose, she pointed at my monitor.

"And what is this?"

It's tea.

"Does there exist anyone here in the office with that name?"

"No ma'am."

"Fix it."

"Yes ma'am."

"Or I'll really kill you this time."

"Yes ma'am."

She'll try to kill me later anyways.

Clack. Clack. Clack.

Her heels echoed once more, this time fading.. fading.. until it was no more.

The pressure in the room lightened. There was a moment of silence.

Nevertheless, as the saying goes, when the cats are away, the mouse comes out to play.

"Hey, what did you do?"

"What did you write?"

"Did she just leave?"

"Shh.. don't be too loud."

Small whispers. Big curiosity.

Everyone pooled over to my place, disregarding the fact that there's a camera monitoring our every action.

"Pu Erh tea.. PFFTT.."

"What the hell.. Avner.. you're seriously going to get yourself fired."

"No, wait, you did this on purpose?"

"Aren't you afraid of being kicked out of the office?"

"Jeez. Only one small mistake and she'd come out to the office to personally tell you off huh?"

"Miss Pu'er tea.. I mean.. it's Boss tea!"

The office burst into a subdued cacophony of laughter.

===

My eyebrows flinched at the massive height of that 'thing'.

"I take it that you're happy to do more work."

You demon– I mean. You darned angel!

"No. No. I never said I wanted this.."

I raised my head timidly to meet her crystal blue eyes. Complementing her boring office wear, just like every other day, her silky white hair loosely hung over her shoulders. It was a little disheartening how you couldn't find that classic 'ear wiggle' in females because of the absence of long ears.

"I always reward my best employees justly. Don't need to thank me."

Thud.

A massive stack of paper was just dropped on my desk.

She showed me a beautiful smile.

You mother..

"Please help tabulate the necessary data as instructed inside. I'm sure you know what to do."

"Yeee…"

"Speaking properly in front of your superior!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Get to work."

She promptly turned and made her way back to her office. I stared at the huge stack of paper on my desk.

"Mister Avner."

"Ah, yes?"

"Do you need.. help with that?"

Compared to that angel of a boss, my kouhai is the best. Kinder and considerate, xe's more of an angel than the real deal!

"No. No. It's alright. I can handle this," I stretched my hands into the air. Internally, I began revving the engine to overclock my mind.

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