Chapter 17:

Mean, Lean Dean Geraldine

Daigaku Kyuuai no Kuronikuru – College Courtship Chronicle

Chapter 17 – Mean, Lean Dean Geraldine

Kuru Kuroni. Japanese. 18 years old. Exchange-student at Saint Rosencrantz’s College for the Intellectually Gifted. She has an IQ of 75… and is currently sitting in the principal’s office, awaiting judgement from Lucifer himself. (Not, like, Lucifer Arose. I’m referring to the demon from the Christian Bible here. See, this is a metaphor comparing Principal Fitzgerald to Satan, and… Never mind, you probably figured that out already. ^^;) As Kuru sat there stroking the puppy that she kept under her shirt for some reason, a tall figure entered the room, filling the air with the stench of brimstone and hellfire (although in actuality, it was just the smell of a recently lit cigarette). The demon took a seat, snuffing out their cigarette in the nearby ashtray.

“You shouldn’t smoke inside a public building,” Kuru remarked. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, lol?”

“Well, this is a private school,” the beast hissed condescendingly.

Geraldine Fitzgerald. Hellspawn (American). Older than creation itself (56 years old). Ruler of the Underworld (Principal of Saint Rosencrantz’s College for the Intellectually Gifted), although most people just referred to her as “The Dean”. She was tall and thin, standing at an imposing 7 feet tall. She reached a long, boney arm forward, stroking the side of Kuru’s face.

“Do you know why you’re here, Kuru Kuroni, daughter of Rogi Kuroni and heir to the Kuroni family business?” The Dean asked.

“Because… my grades are bad?”

“No, no. I don’t mean in my office, I mean in Saint Rosencrantz’s in general.”

“Because… my grades are bad?” Kuru repeated.

“Because you’re rich,” The Dean snapped. “Your father bribed me… er, ‘negotiated with me’, to allow you to study here. But I had one condition…”


“Being that you don’t fuck up this college’s prestigious image! And now I hear that you’ve gotten an ‘F’ in writing class? And you’ve dragged Maximilian Lovegood down with you?!”

“Well, you see,” Kuru began.

“Shut it, girly! Never before has anyone at Saint Rosencrantz’s gotten an ‘F’! Yet now two students, one of which is Saint R’s brightest, have scored an ‘F’ on the same day?!”

“Maximilian-sama was sticking up for me,” Kuru protested. “He’s a great friend, lol!”

Just a friend?” the principal asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What’s that s’posed to mean?” Kuru spoke without a hint of sarcasm. (Holy crap is she dumb. It means that The Dean thinks you’re a couple, you moronic boob!)

“Never mind then,” The Dean shrugged. “Getting back to the matter at hand, you have been here for a month, correct?”

“Yes, ma’am-sama.”

“And in that month, what have you learned?”

“N-nothing,” Kuru muttered.

“Money talks, Kuroni, but it can only say so much,” the woman sighed. “As of today, you are officially expelled.”

“W-wait,” Kuru begged. “Your school –which is wonderful, by the way– is really important to me. I want to have the opportunity to learn, and to make loads of new friends, lol.”

“The prestige of this college is more important to me than some Japanese dude’s bribery…. Buuuuut, I do love a suckup. Alright, Kuroni. I’m only going to give you one more chance, so listen well…” The Dean paused, reaching into her pink pencil skirt and withdrawing a new cigarette. “In two months’ time, there is going to be an end-of-semester exam in every subject. If you manage to pass at least one subject, I will accept that you are able and willing to learn. However, if you fail everything, then…”

The Dean cut herself off, running a thumb across her neck and making an earsplitting ‘hack’ sound.

The idiot girl stared at her blankly, clearly not getting the message, much to the surprise of probably no-one.

“Then you’re gone. Expelled. Fucked off. Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“I’m not good at spelling…”

“*Sigh* Get out of my office.”


Expulsion. The very thought terrified Kuru. Back in Japan, she was viewed as a social outcast and had no friends, sans a girl who coincidentally shared her name with Lily’s roommate. But here at Saint Rosencrantz’s College for the Intellectually Gifted, Kuru was well-liked by her classmates and had formed a small group of friends. Nobody here had any reason to suspect that Kuru was actually a freaking moron, plus her stoic demeanor and ice-cold expression made her somewhat of a heartthrob among her peers – A fact that Maximilian Lovegood could attest to. And speaking of Maxie…

“I lied to him,” Kuru muttered. “I told him that my IQ was 175, lol. Being my dormmate, he’ll probably see past my ruse eventually. Would he forgive me if he found out?”

Well… Yeah, probably. As long as you’ve got XX chromosomes (or are named Lucifer Arose), Maxie probably wouldn’t give a shit.

“If I told him myself, then maybe he’d forgive me?” Kuru pondered aloud. “…OK, it’s decided. I’m going to tell Maximilian-sama that my IQ is only 75, lol.”

As Kuru approached her dorm room, she took a deep breath. Would this revelation change the dynamic of their friendship? Would it come back to bite her in the ass? There was only one way to find out…

“Hey, Maximilian-sama,” Kuru beamed, kicking down the door. “I have something to confess…”

“Oh, he’s away at class. Silly me, lol.”

Yuuuuup, this revelation is probably going to take a while. Sit tight, y’all, this college chronicle is about to become even more convoluted…

(To be continued…)

Kuromaru (クロまる)