Ex: Drifting Away

My mind and my steps are listless as I slither down the halls at a slothful pace. The abundant desire to twist around and return to Juna weighs my shoulders down and presses my heels into the floor. No matter the depth of my wanting, doing that would be a poor choice. Everybody, no matter who they may be, needs time alone and time to care for themselves.

Vestil continues waiting for me; the one who lags with a languid pace.

I pause my stride for a spell and take a deep breath to bring a pep to my step. Amid my concentration, I’m intercepted by Neptanie who looks more weary than usual. She sways as she walks and places her palm to the wall to support herself.

At corner of the hall the wall comes up short for her hand and she begins to stumble. I catch her before she can collapse and meet the floor for a smarting landing.

“You’re looking a little worn down. Were you looking for a place to rest your head?”

Her fluttering eyes swivel a snaking road up to mine which are surely concerned. She doesn’t seem capable of recognizing where she is.

“I was just… thinking…” I can only barely hear her voice.

“You really shouldn’t be wandering around when you’re in this kind of state. Here. I’ll take you somewhere you can rest.”

I give her my shoulder and carry her on the way. With no other clue where to take her, I shift gears to retrace my steps. As I see Juna’s room the temptation coaxes me anew. But I overcome it and open the door to my room.

✩ ✩ ✩

“Like I’d promised: you’re free to come here whenever you need to. I’d rather you’d not hurt yourself falling over in the halls or anything else like that.”

I’d set Neptanie on my bed and took the liberty to help her out of her shoes. She rests with her eyes closed and her hands knit together. Even if she’s so weary she’s still so delicately beautiful.

“Juna…” She speaks while heavy with sleep and pauses my leave.

“Juna?”

“She was so sad...”

“Even if she did her best to hide it I’m sure everyone had noticed. With her dreams being denied as harshly as they were there’s no way she couldn’t be depressed.”

“Dreams… I have a lot of… dreams… I see so many… Do you think that dreams can come… true…?” Her voice is slow with long pauses as she lays at the border of sleep.

“I’d dreamed that I could be the Celestial Knight ever since I was a child. If a dream as absurd as that can come true then I’d think nearly any other one could too. But I still have other dreams that I wish to see granted…”

“Dreams are nice… Dreams of flying… Of swimming and gliding like the world is yours… I like those dreams. I think that you fly… I think that you’re like the sky…”

“I’m like the sky?”

“So vast… So wonderful and gentle and colorful… It feels like life… Juna is like the wind. How far she carries on and how much she… sees…”

“I think I can understand a little bit but I feel like I’m missing out on just how far your mind is going with these thoughts. Juna is best when she’s free to be herself, that’s for sure. But it’s difficult for let herself be like that right now...”

“If you’re by her side I think she’ll smile again soon. Khiron… is like the sky at sunset… I miss the sunset…”

Her chest begins to rise and fall in a deep rhythm. She’s soon utterly silent while two warm tears fall down her face. Yet she’s so at peace in her own dreams. I wonder to myself if she’d been talking in her sleep the entire time.

She had described myself and Juna but if I were to describe her I suppose she reminds me of water. Tranquil and calm with such diverse a diverse world filled with wonders just beneath the surface.

Yet her question hangs on me.

Do I believe that dreams can come true?

I do. Juna’s dreams can still come true even now. In this hour and in this situation she needs help reaching those stars. So she can live in a world where her dreams are reality. To give her the support she had blessed me with that helped me to follow in Solus’ footsteps.

Now more than ever, Juna needs me. So I can live another dream in my heart. To make her dreams reality.

At the doorway I peer over my shoulder to Neptanie who now visits the world of her own imagination. As the light of the falling sun begins to catch fire, it glistens upon her and makes me feel as if she herself is a dream too magnificent for this world.