Chapter 1:

The Thought Of Broken Bonds

The Weight Of Ignorance


                                                                        KOKONE

The ceremony for Akira had just ended, That bastard didn’t show up until the end , even THAT lady had shown up. He promised sister that he would protect her from anything that would hurt her, but he ran away when things got tough, he left my sister to die and he didn’t even come to visit her for her funeral.

Yuuto was a brother figure for me, having him and Akira in my life made it more fun than ever, He always made me laugh. He helped out our family whenever they needed it. I was hoping for those happy days to last forever but that was not how life decided things to be. My sister died and my brother ran away, the 2 people I thought were the strongest in my life turned out to be weak.

It had been 2 days since the funeral and he still hadn’t visited. Our family used to have a close bond with Yuuto before Akira passed away, the least he could do is check up on us. I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind and let him know how much of an ass he is. 

I left my house and walked to his house, our houses were only 10 minutes apart by walk. He lived alone in a small apartment, sister used to always go to his house and help him, and after all that he couldn’t even come for her funeral. I’m going to slap him and make him apologize.

I made my way to the apartment, the lights outside his house were off, was he out? I knocked on his door and there was no response, I wasn’t going to give up yet so I continued to knock louder. Was he avoiding me? was he looking through the peephole and ignoring me?

“Yuuto? I know you’re in there, why not come out and talk”

Suddenly I could hear footsteps come near me, I was fully prepared to hit him and tell him how much of an ass he was, how much I hated him for not standing up for Akira but the person that opened the door was not one that was happy and unregretful, it was someone who wanted a way out of life. His body was frail, his eyes had bags under them and I could see the tear stains all over his T-shirt. Why did I think he was alright? Why did I think that he didn’t care? I wasn’t able to understand what was happening but I still wanted to convey the words I couldn’t tell anyone, just as I was about to start speaking, he suddenly covered his mouth and ran away.

“Yuuto, what are you doing?”

I went after him and I saw him lying on the floor and as I moved towards him, he kept moving away. He finally stopped and looked at me with his despair-filled eyes.

“Kokone? I’m so-”

He dropped his head and was still as a rock.

What had just happened? Why was he lying on the floor without moving at all? This sight was one that didn't sit well with me. I had seen another person very recently in this same state. 

“ WAKE UP! YUUTO WAKE UP! I CAN’T LOSE ONE MORE PERSON IN MY LIFE, PLEASE JUST WAKE UP” I couldn't take it. I didn't want to lose him. The way he laid down was the same as Akira.

**********************


I opened my eyes to see Kokone sitting by the side of my bed reading a book, she looked just like Akira. I slowly got up from my bed and Kokone looked up at me. Her eyes were filled with tears. Her eyes had swelled up and had bags under them.

Next to me was some food and medicines. I ate the porridge in silence and had the medicines, neither of us said a word, we both knew that saying anything insensitive to the other would get us nowhere.

“The neighbors came to your house and helped you when you became fainted”

That explained her crying, She must have felt helpless after watching me faint like that. This girl who had lost her sister because of me was sitting beside me and taking care of me. I knew what I had to do here, there was only one thing.

“Uh, Kokone, I……I want you to hit me, It was my fault that Akira died, I knew what was happening but was too much of a coward to help her”

With no hesitation, she slapped me as hard as she could. It was completely understandable that she hit me, I had broken a promise that I had made to her and her sister years ago. After hitting me she didn’t look at me with disgust or anger, her eyes just expressed her sadness at what had unfolded.

Kokone was only 14 years old, losing her sister must have been hard for her, and the person she trusted her sister’s protection to was a complete loser who let her die. I wish I could go back and save Akira but that was impossible. So all I could do was apologize.


“Kokone, I’m sorry for not helping Akira, I’m sorry for everything”

I keep looking down while apologizing. I didn’t have the courage to look her in the face.

Suddenly I felt a warmth around me, Kokone had started to hug me.

“I miss Akira” She started saying while starting to cry

Neither of us spoke in the 10 minutes that she continued to cry, It was just a moment of sadness shared by the two of us.

“I have to leave now,” She said as she let me go, neither of us was ready to talk more about who’s fault Akira’s death was.

“Also Yuuto, please take care of your health, I don’t want to lose another person I care about”

She bowed and left. Ultimately, I still couldn’t look her in the face and apologize.

I go to bed and finally rest my eyes


“Yuuto, wake up” that voice was strangely familiar.

I opened my eyes and saw Akira again right in front of me, I still didn’t know what I could tell her.

“ Yuuto, are you trying to get closer to my sister after everything that’s happened to me? Do you of all people have the right to actually seek comfort? The right to talk to my family and try to pity yourself? “

I remained in silence listening to her. I couldn’t refute her, she was right. I had no right to talk to her family, even my apology was half-baked since I couldn’t even look Kokone in the face.

“I’m sorry”  but even so, apologies were the only words I could offer.

“Sorry? What's that going to do? Bring me back alive? Make it so that everything you had done until now could be atoned for. Don’t make me laugh Yuuto”

The nightmare wouldn’t end, everything she said was exactly right, and nothing I said or did could ever make up for letting her die.

“Did you notice Yuuto? despite everything, Kokone never said that it wasn’t your fault or that she forgave you. Everyone around you knows the truth as well, It's all your fault. What give you the right to live when I’m dead? I protected you when you were getting bullied and you ran away when I was getting bullied, Do you think you have the right to live?”

Each of those words was a stab to the heart. But they were all perfectly sound arguments. I had no right to be talking to her family or feeling sorry for myself.

“Akira, I-”

Before I could finish the sentence I was woken up by my phone’s alarm. I opened my phone to turn it off and saw a message from my high school.

“This message was sent to you to remind you that your classes will commence starting tomorrow”