Chapter 1:

Heart Of Apple

Smith & Weapon

“My precious daughter, to you I leave all my tools and a world full of knowledge. Go from this place and be born.”

A voice spoke inside Smith’s head, it was the first voice she’d ever heard, the voice of her mother. Her eyes opened and she found herself curled up on the stone floor of a small workshop. Tools lined the walls and a solid stone table was chiseled into the center of the room; a single red door set in a golden frame was the only exit. Smith creaked to her feet, her head barely cleared the table, she couldn’t tell if it was because the table was tall or she was short. Smith teetered over to the door. It seemed to be a very simple door overall, with a few curiosities, the first being a cleanly finished wooden handle, it had an oddly smooth texture. The second thing that caught her attention was the door’s length; the door was shorter than the frame. The frame of the door went into the floor but the door was far too short, in fact it seemed like someone had taken a small bite out of it. There weren’t any teeth marks but it was cut jaggedly in a curve along the bottom.

Smith moved away from the door. Should she leave this safe space. Her head was still pretty fuzzy and there must be more here that she was missing. The tools along the shop were all so normal looking and something told her the “tools” her mother were referring to would not be something so ordinary. She spent several minutes looking over the place and found nothing.

“Mmm!” She mussed her hair while crinkling her face in annoyance, “Where are your tools, Ma? I don’t really need them, but I feel like I do. I could go out this door and look but I feel like there’s something scary out there and I want to feel safe when I leave. Gah! I want em’, I want em’, now!” She slumped back to floor, “I could make something, but I’m like 20 MINUTES OLD! How would I know how to make something? How do I know how talk? How do I know anything? Why do I exist? What is the meaning in anything? I DON’T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE, DON’T MAKE ME!!” She bangs her head on the floor then gets up, opens the door, closes it, then heads over to the table, stands there a second, then suddenly, “Blaggghhh” slams her head down so hard the room shakes, “AAAAHHHH! WAHHHH! That hurt! Why’d I do that? MAAA! Why did you do this? Existence is pain! And THERE WAS NOTHING BUT AN ENDLESS VOID OUTSIDE THE DOOR!!! WAHHH!”

Several minutes more have now passed, Smith sits cross-legged on the ground while mindlessly staring at the walls. “There nothing in here and nothing out there. ‘Go from this place and be born’ I would love ta, Ma. I’d be thrilled take a stroll through forest, or an afternoon jog with the gals, but we have bit of a problem, ya see, THERE’S NO WHERE TO GO!!!”

Several more minutes pass. “I’m gonna die here, there’s no hope, I give in to despair. Grim reaper take me, now.” Smith rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling, “I’m so hungry, wait, no, I’m not? Am I human? Does it matter? I seem to have a human brain with human impulses but they don’t quite match to my body. Like I could go for a burger, but also nah…” Smith gets up and stretches, “The floor is hurting my back, err, my brain? Frick, I don’t know! Well, anyway…” Smith hops up on the table and lays down, “Actually, this is slightly more comfortable than the floor. Hmm.” The stone table begins to lower, “You know what this is weirdly soft, and it’s so huggable, wait!” Smith opens her eyes to see a pair of large breasts in front of her face. “WHAAAT!” She rolls out of bed… slab…block…she rolls out of block and see a large statuesque woman where her “block” used to be. She has her arm where a pillow would be and a proper mattress extends underneath her. The woman wears a thin white gown and a white habit but it’s mainly for decoration as the thin material doesn’t hide shit. “Wha-wha-what? I-i-is? Th-th-this?”

Music abruptly begins playing and a disco ball drops from the ceiling, “Heavenly Maiden’s Final Resting Place Divine Mattress and Mistress Comforter set is a top of the line, revolutionary sleep system guaranteed to give you the good night sleep you deserve.” It was mother’s voice echoing through her head. “The mattress is made from the finest materials from the other side of the Eversea, the likes which won’t be seen ever again. Sleep in style with the permanently attached, unremovable, Mistress comforter. It perfectly adapts and keeps you cozy and comfortable in even the most extreme climates. Sleep with absolute peace of mind. Warning before use: the first person to sleep in the Heavenly Maiden’s Final Resting Place Divine Mattress and Mistress Comforter Set will be registered as it’s owner, said owner will no longer be allowed to sleep in any other beds for as long as they live (and maybe even after), the Holy Mistress dakimakura is possessed and will set fire to you (and the offending mattress) in your sleep if you are unfaithful to her. May your nights be blessed with heavenly slumber!” The disco ball retracts and the music stops.


Smith let out a shriek, but not just in regard to her new mattress, around her the entire shop had begun to twist and turn and expand. Smith no longer stood in a single stone room, she was now in the middle of a boundless warehouse full of wonders that would put her new mattress to shame.


It would be sometime before she regained her sense of reason.