Chapter 37:

Season 2, Episode 24



Tyson grabs the mail out of their mailbox.


Tyson walks up the driveway. A phone company van sits in the yard. Thomas talks to a PHONE REPAIR MAN.

PHONE REPAIR MAN: All we have to do is replace the wires.

THOMAS: How long will that take?

PHONE REPAIR MAN: I don’t know. It’s an overdue job so it might take longer than expected. But since it is one that is past its required maintenance, you won’t have to worry about paying for it. Your bills are paid up. Besides, it’s a hazard anyways.

Tyson heads inside.

THOMAS: Well thanks for looking at it.

PHONE REPAIR MAN (gets in van): My pleasure. I’ll send you something in mail to let you know when they plan on starting.

THOMAS: I’ll keep an eye out.

The phone company van drives away. Thomas heads inside.


Sadie cleans the dishes. Daniel helps her. Tyson goes through the mail. Thomas enters.

TYSON: So what did he say?

THOMAS: Good news, we don’t have to pay. It’s a required maintenance. It might be a week, but I told them not to rush.

An envelope catches Tyson’s eye. He opens it. Inside are four arm bands & a letter.

THOMAS (CONT’D): Anything interesting come in?

TYSON: This. (read note) “Congratulation. If you are receiving this, you have just been the winners of a drawing for free passes to the Freemont County Fair for your entire family. Valid until August 1st.”

THOMAS: Well looky here, two good things in one day. How about tomorrow night? You can see if Mi wants to come.

TYSON: Dad, she’s just a girl. Nothing more.

THOMAS: Now who are you? Clearly not my son. No Dougell would refuse to invite a lady.

TYSON: When did you-

CRACK Sadie dropped a dish. Thomas comes and sees the shattered dish.

THOMAS: Everything okay?

Daniel looks down at the dish.

SADIE: Yeah. One just slipped out of my hand.

THOMAS: I’ll get it. Want to help, Daniel?


Daniel grabs the broom.

Tyson looks at the letter. Underneath is a flyer for the fair. He wonders whether Mi has been to one.


Mi sleeps on the floor with a broom in her hand.

Gale walks in the kitchen with Josiah. She notices a sleepy head on the job.

GALE: Sleeping on the job, I see.

Mi wakes up.

MI (tired): Aunt Gale. Morning.

GALE: It’s 11:30.

MI: Oh, really. How long was I out?

GALE: When did you start?

MI: When I finished helping Mayla with the dishes. I guess I’m still not use to hard work. Or that dream I had last night kept me up.

GALE: It takes time. You’ll build endurance.

Mi stands up.

GALE (CONT’D): What kind of dream did you have?

MI: A really weird one. I dreamt I was on an island made of hay.

GALE: Were you alone?

MI: Now that is where it gets weird. I’m standing on the beach dressed up in castaway clothes- Is that even a style?

GALE: I know what you mean.

MI: And the ocean has pieces of hay floating in it. There’s also this hut. I go inside the hut and I see Tyson wrestling a red hog. He kills the hog and we have it for dinner.

GALE: Anything else?

MI: While we were eating, the moon shined a path to a boat. We got on it and sailed away as the island was sinking. In the water were more red hogs, all drowning. Weird, huh?

GALE: Yes, really weird. Have you seen your father around?

MI: Wasn’t in my dream, so I have no idea.

Josiah runs up to Mi, takes the broom from her, and tries to sweep.

GALE: Mind keeping an eye on him for me?

MI: Not that I can say no.

Gale walks out.


Shiro’s van drives up the driveway & parks in front of the house. Calif bolts out of the van with a bag. Kobai, Mayla, & Shiro get out.

KOBAI: I must say that was an utter waste of time.

MAYLA: Calif wanted to do it.

KOBAI: Consider what she did to the first one.

SHIRO: That was two months ago. She’ll probably take it this time.

KOBAI: You do realize that the time needed to fully change one’s own persona requires more than two months.

SHIRO: Apparently, you have not been paying attention enough. This could affect your abilities in a debate.

KOBAI: True. If I am unable to note changes even in those closest to me…

Kobai makes for the house.

SHIRO: She is going to have a hard time in high school.

MAYLA: I can see that happening.

SHIRO: Ready to start practicing?

Mayla pulls out a driver’s manual.

MAYLA: I read some of the book.

SHIRO: Well then, let’s get you used to being behind the wheel.

MAYLA: Uh dad, don’t you think it’s a bit early?

SHIRO: Not to learn. You can get a permit at 15. You’d just have to have someone with experience riding with you.

MAYLA: B-but what if I’m not mature enough to handle driving.

SHIRO: Mayla, who cooks our meals?


SHIRO: And who cleans everything even when no one else will?


SHIRO: Who says you’re not mature enough?

Mayla motivates herself and gets in the driver’s seat.


Mi cleans up Josiah & her dishes. Calif rushes downstairs holding a bag.


MI: What’s up Cal?

Calif hands the bag.

Mi opens the bag, unveiling a red beret.

CALIF: Happy birthday…

Mi looks at the beret, remembering that Calif gave her one and she threw it into the fire.

MI: I never did apologize for burning the first one. Thanks Calif. It’s nice.

Calif smiles.

Mi puts the beret on. Mi’s ponytail does not fit.

MI: How do I look?

CALIF: Your ponytail doesn’t fit.

MI: Really?

Mi adjusts the beret. It doesn’t help.

CALIF: Let me fix it.

MI (kneels): Okay.

Calif adjusts Mi’s ponytail to just below the beret’s rim. Now it looks better.

CALIF: There we go.

Mi looks in a window and looks at her reflection. All she does is smile in content.


Mayla sits in the driver’s seat of the van, gripping the steering wheel to death with a fixed look in her eyes. Shiro sits in the passenger’s seat.

SHIRO: Let’s start with the basics. You know how to start it up, right?

Mayla shakes her head while still fixed on the windshield.

SHIRO: Just relax. We’re only in the yard. Look at your feet.

Mayla stares down at her feet.

SHIRO (CONT’D): You have two pedals. The right one is the gas, the left one is the brake. The brake is bigger than the gas. You only use one foot when you drive.

Mayla takes a good look at the pedals to make sure she has them down.

MAYLA: Left brake, right gas. Left brake, right gas.

SHIRO: Look at your gauges.

Mayla lifts her head and looks at the analog gauges.

SHIRO (CONT’D): The big one in the center is your speed. The small ones on the right are your gas gauge and the engine temperature. You’ll mainly be using the gas and speedometer when you drive.

MAYLA: Speed. Gas. Speed. Gas.

SHIRO: Under your speed is your gear shift. Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, Low. Most the time, you won’t use Low. In fact, you shouldn’t normally use it. Even I don’t why it exist.

Mayla stares at the gear shift, taking mental notes to make sure she does not forget.

SHIRO (CONT’D): I shouldn’t have to explain Park, Reverse, & Drive. Do you want me to?

MAYLA: Park to park, Drive to go forwards, Reverse to go backwards.

SHIRO: Good. Neutral is a free position. You would use it if your vehicle needs to be towed. Or pushed half a mile to the nearest filling station. Let’s start by putting it in gear. Start her up.

Mayla turns the engine on. Mayla grips the wheel.

SHIRO: Good. To change gears, you grab the gear shift lever, which is behind the wheel on the right side. Some will have it next to you.

MAYLA: Will pedals change positions?

SHIRO: No. That would be a problem. Put your foot on the break.

Mayla looks down at the pedals. She places her foot on the gas. The engine revs. Mayla freaks and goes for the wheel.

SHIRO: It’s okay. It’s okay. She’s not moving. She’s in park. You just revved the engine. That’s all.

Mayla calms down.

SHIRO (CONT’D): Just try again.

Mayla looks down and places her foot on the brake.\

SHIRO: Okay. Now grab the gear shift.

Mayla grabs the gear shift.

SHIRO: Good. Remember, before you grab the gear shift, always have your foot on the brake, no matter which position. Every time you change, always have your foot on the brake.

Mayla holds the ger shift. She feels overwhelmed.

SHIRO: Now pull it down to Drive.

Mayla pulls the gear shift. She lefts off the brake. The van rolls back.

SHIRO: Mayla, put on the brake.

Mayla panics. She grabs the gear shift. The gear shift won’t move.

SHIRO: Mayla, put your foot on the brake.

Mayla can’t hear Shiro over her panic.

SHIRO: Mayla, calm down and push the brake. Mayla, sweetheart, calm down. Just calm down. Calm-

BUMP The van hits a fence post. Mayla sits frozen in place.

SHIRO: Okay. No one’s hurt. The van’s not in a river. Everybody’s okay.

Shiro notices Mayla and can tell she’s had enough.

SHIRO: Want to call it for today?


Shiro unbuckles himself and Mayla.

Tyson rides a bicycle up the driveway. He spots the van. Shiro steps out of the van.

TYSON: I’m guessing you’re not teaching Mi to drive, are ya?

SHIRO: Giving Mayla a driving lesson. Why do you say it’s not Mi?

TYSON: She drove one of tractors before. Handles it quite well.

SHIRO: Does your dad let you drive the truck sometimes?

TYSON: He says a tractor is good enough to practice on.

Shiro opens the driver’s door and helps Mayla out.

TYSON (CONT’D): Anyways, I came to ask y’all something.

SHIRO: Go ahead.

TYSON: We just won four free passes to the fair and we were wondering if y’all were free tomorrow night.

SHIRO: You’re inviting all 10 of us?

TYSON: If y’all want to.

MAYLA: We’ve never been to a fair before.

TYSON: WHAT? No way.

MAYLA: Xena, especially.

Shiro thinks.

TYSON: Your pulling my leg, aren’t ya? Except about Xena.

MAYLA: I’m afraid it’s all true.

TYSON: Then y’all have got to come. They have rides, food, games, prizes. I heard they have a two-headed horse.

All the color vanishes from Mayla.

MAYLA: Two… headed… horse…

TYSON: Boy, you really haven’t been to one. They like to put up weird oddities for people to see. I’ve seen some fake ones before. What people will do for money.

MAYLA: Fake… heh… heh… heh…

SHIRO: Okay, then. (Mayla cracks) What time do you want to meet at?

TYSON: They have a rodeo at 7. How about 6?

SHIRO: Okay then. I’ll go tell the others. Unless of course, you want to tell them.

TYSON: I’d better head back and tell my parents that I told y’all. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Tyson pedals down the driveway. Shiro watches Tyson bike away. He can tell what Tyson doesn’t know he’s planning.


Shiro walks inside. Gale comes into the kitchen.

GALE: There you are. I’ve been looking for. I’ve got something important to tell you.

SHIRO: If it’s about going to the far, Tyson just invited us.

GALE: When?

SHIRO: Tomorrow night.

GALE: Okay. But no, that’s not what I wanted to tell you. I found you a job.

SHIRO: Really. It’s not in town, is it?

GALE: Here’s the thing. Remember Joan?

SHIRO: Don’t tell me she’s planning on opening a beauty parlor.

GALE: She is.

SHIRO: Remember what she did the night of the last game?

GALE: The night of the- Oh. Still not over that, huh.

SHIRO: They put in one of their uniforms against my consent. If anything, I should be her boss. She’s got the hands of an 80-year-old man.

GALE: She wasn’t that bad.

Mi & Calif walk in.

SHIRO: Out of all the girls I had to help, she was a smoker in a fireworks factory.

MI: Are you saying I shouldn’t buy fireworks?

SHIRO: No but that’s probably a bad idea.

MI: I can take a hint.

Ni burst in caring Mayla.

NI: Someone made a model of Mayla. Look at how real it is. (pokes Mayla’s hair) It even feels like her.

Xena walks in with Josiah.

SHIRO: Perfect timing. Where’s Kobai?

NI: Upstairs.

SHIRO: I’ll tell her later. We’re all going to the county fair tomorrow night.

NI: Fair. AWESOME! Roller coasters! Ice cream! Shark jumping!

MI: Do you even know what a fair is?

XENA: All of us…

SHIRO: Relax, Xena. I have a plan for you.

KOBAI (O.S.): A risky incursion in any manner.

Kobai stands on the stairs dressed in traditional Japanese clothes and make-up.

MI: What are you even doing?

KOBAI: I have found that while I do have a complete understanding of the history & cultures of Ukraine, Belarus, Nigeria, & Guatemala, I know nothing of my heritage. Thus, in order to boost my compression, I have decided to clothe myself in traditional Japanese garments.

CALIF: But aren’t we adopted?

KOBAI (Portuguese): Uncultured ingrates. You do appreciate the mysteries of other cultures.

NI: She’s talking alien again!

MI: Do you have no comprehension of other languages?

SHIRO: Well you can enjoy that today, but tomorrow, you’re getting in touch with your grandfather’s side.

KOBAI: Understood.

SHIRO: We’re gonna meet up with the Dougells at 6, so we’ll leave here half an hour before then.

NI: I better get ready. (disappears ups stairs) Ho! What should I wear?

Calif takes Xena’s and and heads upstairs.

MI: Should we even bother getting dressed up for a place where you can see a bodily-less head?

Mayla disintegrates.

SHIRO: You don’t want to?

MI: Again, why? It will probably get dirty just by stepping in.

SHIRO: Tyson’s going to be there.

MI (beat): Dad. Do you think me & Tyson are interested in each other?

SHIRO: He did save your life. You don’t feel anything for him?

MI: All he did was watch over me and show me how to chop a tree. (walks off) He’s nice but a hero? That’s a bit of a stretch.

Mi leaves the room.

GALE: Boy. And I thought Pa was bad with Nell. Why did you do that? I know it’s an instinct among fathers, but why? Just why? Are you even paying attention?

SHIRO: Does she not know?

Gale has no idea what Shiro is talking about, but it seems that a misunderstanding has occurred.


Daniel watches a trail of ants go into an ant bed. Tyson walks on by and sees Daniel.

TYSON: What you looking at, Daniel?

Tyson joins his brother.

DANIEL: Ant hill.

TYSON: Careful. I think these might be fire ants. You excited for the fair?

Daniel grins.

TYSON (CONT’D): You always like to watch ants when you get excited.

DANIEL: Ladybug coming?

TYSON: Yep. She’s coming.

Daniel, who is always entranced in bugs, looks around thinking Mi is nearby.

TYSON: What are you looking for?

DANIEL: Ladybug.

TYSON: She’s not coming over tonight. We’re going to meet her at the fair tomorrow. Do you like her?

DANIEL: She warm.

TYSON: Yeah. I guess someone who can make fire come out of her hair can be warm to be around.

DANIEL: Warm for you?

TYSON: Warm for me? You are talking about her fire, right?

Daniel doesn’t understand what Tyson is talking about.

TYSON: Have you seen her move fire before?

DANIEL: Uh-un.

Tyson tries to understand what Daniel is saying.


The Tulsen girls bathe in a tub of Mayla’s hair goo. Mayla, Ni, Calif, & Xena feel at ease. Kobai sits on the edge with a towel covering her and a book in hand.

NI: Awe. This is the best.

XENA: I miss this.

MI: Remember the first time we did this. We all tried to fit in the tub back home.

KOBAI: Fortunately, Xena & Calif were small enough to accommodate all six-

Ni pulls Kobai in. Kobai emerges with a disturbed look.

NI: Still as nice as you remember.

KOBAI: I suppose as can’t argue with that. At least my books don’t get ruined.

NI: Come on, throw the book & get in.

Gale walks in wearing a towel.

GALE: What are y’all doing…?

XENA: Aunt Gale.

CALIF: Want to join us?

GALE: You’re taking a bath… in…

MAYLA: Yes ma’am.

GALE (slides to door): I think I’ll-

Ni pops out in front of Gale. She knocks Gale into the bath and returns to the bath.

A sudden wave of peace flow over Gale.

GALE: This feels nice~

NI: Mayla’s signature hair bath. Guaranteed to take all pain away.

GALE: Oh, you said it. Ahhh~


Luegon fixes the roof.

NI (O.S.): You & Tyson.


The girls sit around in there night clothes. Ni has a mud mask on. (Don’t asked)

NI: The world has plans.

MI: What do you have on your face?

NI: I heard mud is good for your face. And your skin.

XENA: Pigs have nice skin.

MI: Football players know that.

KOBAI: While footballs were originally made with-

Mi throws a blob of goo onto Kobai’s face.

MAYLA: I think you & Tyson look good together.

MI: Please. Can anyone see me with a guy?

Xena raises her hand. She’s the only one.

Kobai pops the goo bubble around her head.

KOBAI: While the odds of you acquire one are relatively low due to your personality, you have created a bound with a male, which is more than what could be said of your social standards back home.

MI: Says the devil of the debate team.

KOBAI: I have run a simulation with the four of us who are within the ages of dating. The most likely one was Mayla. The next most likely was Ni.

MI: And what? Your next & I’m the lowest.

KOBAI: Relatively, I have a better understanding of the social dynamics of dating, which I can use to procure a suitable companion that shall last well into my senior years. You, on the other hand, are constantly complaining & extreme lazy. The only ways in which you would be able to procure a companion, suitable or not, would require means I cannot say unless I would want to risk father “going to town” with my derriere.

CALIF: I think you’re being bias.

MAYLA: I think so too. I think Mi would be higher than me.

BEAT Everyone in the room looks at Mayla, simultaneously saying with there faces “Sis, you’re not fooling anyone.”

MAYLA: Me & Michael are just friends.

No one’s buying it.

MAYLA (beat): Besides, I haven’t seen him since we left. I’m pretty sure he’s forgotten me by now.

KOBAI: He does not have memory issues.

CALIF (to Ni): Is it bad that I understand this better than Kobai?

NI (to Calif): No it’s natural.

MAYLA (to Mi): Besides, he only saw me as a friend. I think that should count for something.

Mi holds back on responding.

THUD THUD A rope falls down the side of the window. Mi opens the window.


Luegon prepares to propel down. He checks his path and sees Mi looking out the window.

LUEGON: Sorry. Did I interrupt you girls?

MI: No. You’re fine.

NI: Are you going to jump off the roof?

LUEGON: Sure am. Mind if I come through?

MI: Go ahead.

Luegon climbs down the roof.


Mi & Ni back away from the window. Luegon comes down and comes in through the window.

LUEGON: Sorry about that. I had to fix a leaky spot on the roof. I hope I’m not interrupting.

NI: We were just talking about Mi & Tyson dating.

Mi whacks Ni over the head.

KOBAI: She’s denying the evidence of Tyson’s care over the month she was absent.

CALIF: And that she’s actually doing chores.

MI: I’m paying Mayla back by being responsible. It’s not like he was the one that shot the wolf off me.


MAYLA: The wolf was shot while it was on you!

NI: That sounds Awesome!

XENA: Who shot it!

CALIF: Was it Tyson?

MI: No. It wasn’t Tyson.

KOBAI: So it was his dad.

MI: No! It was his mom. There. Happy?

LUEGON (beat): Are you sure about that?

Everyone looks at Luegon.

MI: Yeah. His dad shot two after the first one. He didn’t reload.

LUEGON: It couldn’t have been Sadie.

The silence in the room confuses the girls, especially for Mi, who looks at Luegon, wondering what he is saying. Did Sadie not shoot? Did Tyson lie? If so, why?