Wake Up, Lousy Agent
Five years ago, Samoa Airport.
I was extremely tired of being dragged into the hellish life.
I was very glad and breathe some air after I met them all, barely alive. Thankfully, the drone killed only the invaders except for my companions.
Mr. Bond panted upon arriving at our location. He looked like dead meat at my sight.
'Dude... you looked like shit,' I commented inside my head.
"Hey, hey, human. I killed them all. I knew you were not going to disappoint me. We hunted a lot and gathered a lot of raw materials. But I wanna hunt somewhere else," the talking drone chirped as he floated around my body. "Find someone else. I'm done with this," I feigned no mind about it.
'Are you a dog or something?' I noticed a tail behind his body. 'Stop buggin' me like a ghost.'
"Eh? I haven't said anything, though. I was about to ask it, but did you just read my mind?" the pink-haired girl was a bit surprised upon hearing it. "Aah, sorry. I'm talking about myself," I apologized and moved back inside the hallway.
I told him to find my luggage, but he transported me here carelessly. I didn't find a single piece of my property here.
'Fuckin' drone. You have one job. One job. But you missed the point. I want my luggage. Not these people!' I complaint inside my head.
Mr. Bond waved a hand to say hello. But I was curious why no one was looking at this flying object above me.
"Hey, do you see something around us, Mr. Bond?" I pointed in the direction where it was located. "Huh? Are you talking about the enemies? Don't worry, I believe they are already gone," Mr. Bond shrugged it off whilst enduring the pain of his injuries.
"Hey, do you see a flying object around me, miss?" I shifted my gaze to the pink-haired girl. "No, I don't sense anything around you. I believe the flies have already died after their owner perished in this world. Now take a look. His familiars are flying around his head, though," she responded, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
"Hey, you. What do you see?" I shifted my gaze next to the staff officer. He flinched upon seeing me.
"A.... a... a monster. Please I apologize for being rude, sir," he genuflected. He scratched his forehead on the floor pathetically.
"What on earth are you talking about? I'm talking about this drone," I pointed at the flying object. "Hiiek, I'm sorry, sir. Please forgive me. All I could see is nothing. Nothing," he hung his head down on the floor deeply.
'He's being too arrogant earlier, but now he's wagging his tail down helplessly. I ain't a monster, though,' I placed a hand on my forehead and heaved a sigh.
"Nevermind, how about you?" I raised my left eyebrow up. I folded my arms across my chest. "I, I don't know what are you talking about either. But I swear to God, I don't see anything. If you only intended for us to keep our mouths shut at what happened. I'm sorry, but I can't do that. How can you earn the rewards if I do that? I believe it is wrong, though. You need to accept the credits for your hard work. We will keep your powers a secret, but I cannot promise to keep my mouth shut after what you did for us. You're a hero who saved me, you know," Dr. Nafario responded with a grave look.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
'Bruh, that's not the point here. I was only asking if you can see the drone. You misunderstand what I wanted to hear, though,' I sighed again.
"Hey, hey, chill out, mate. You cannot do that. Hiding your achievements is a no-no. I know you're thirsty to massacre the survivors of the enemies, but take a rest for a while. I heard a sound of a whistle. I believe they already retreated. You won't see a single soul around there," Mr. Bond touched a hand on my shoulder. "But I am just asking about the drone," I responded emotionless.
"Aaah, you want me to report now? I apologize if I miss the point there. You're using a [Code]. Wait, let me excuse myself. I'm going to write an article now. By the way, please watch our customer for me. Thanks," Mr. Bond misunderstood my point.
The pink-haired girl's eyes twitched.
"Forget about it. I'm going inside again. I need to find my luggage," I feigned no mind and decided to move away. But Mr. Bond extended a hand to stop me.
"C'mon, I know you're concerned about us. You don't have to worry. They are really gone. Besides, the plane should be here any minute now. Just take a rest, okay," Mr. Bond winked an eye at me. "Aah, so that's what you meant. You're only trying to ask us if we are okay? Jeez, I'm so sorry for my failure to understand the [Code] behind it," the pink-haired girl looked amused.
'Code? I did not even use a fuckin' code? What is code? Is that a food or something parable? I just want to pick up my luggage!' I cried inside my head.
I realized this moment. No one could see the flying object except me.
"Please step aside. I'm not using a code. I'm just going to get my luggage, Mr. Bond," I tucked my hands in my pockets and walked away from them. "Jeez, I cannot stop you, can't I? It can't be helped. But please, hold back a little when you meet a survivor. Show some mercy on criminals, okay? Well then. Go ahead, mate," Mr. Bond tapped a hand on my shoulder twice.
'I have no fuckin' idea what are you talking back,' I was perplexed upon hearing it.
As I entered inside, I found a lot of corpses lying scattered around the floors. I could see a lot of bullet holes all over the place, broken debris from the wall that got destroyed by an explosion, and a wrecked line of electric wires hung down out of the ceilings.
"Oh my goodness, this is a massacre. Who on earth would do such a gruesome act against these people?" I asked as I tried to avoid my feet stepping on their bodies. "Isn't that your order? Massacre them all? Oh, human, you're so funny. I'm glad you like what I did against these mortals," the talking drone effused.
'So, it's you!' I fumed.
"Hey, why they can't see your form earlier?" I changed the subject. "Because they are weak. That's all," the talking drone responded briefly.
I safely landed in the open hallway without touching the corpses. Then, I continued to stroll searching for it.
"What do you mean weak? Explain it in human standards properly, robot," I added. "Because they are unworthy to see my true form, human. Oh, joke aside. I am using a Tier 10 Invisibility. No one can see me except a God-tier human mage or a demon-possessed human," the talking drone commented.
"Well, thank you for being honest this time, robot," I shrugged it off after I heard a convincing answer. "You're welcome, human," the talking drone happily responded.
"But wait, I ain't one of them though. How can I see you in person?" I queried. "Well, it's because of the silver ring on your finger. The people who wear those rings can see me. But since you're the owner, you can also hear my voice," the talking drone explained promptly.
I raised a hand where it was inserted. Then, I took a peek at the ring that was attached to my index finger.
"I wonder how much it cost when I sold it to the market," I commented. "Oh, oh, it is worth 10,000 golds during the Mesopotamia era," the talking drone responded proudly.
My ears twitched upon hearing it.
"T-t-ten thousand golds? Is that real?" I was glad to hear it. "Yes, it is the truth, human," the talking drone confirmed it.
"Hallelujah! I'm rich! Fuckin' rich! If I sold this, I will go back to the Philippines and build my own business. Finally, I don't need to work anymore!" I burst into laughter like a maniac. My face turned ugly like an ugly bastard in a porn series. "Umm, okay," the talking drone was astonished to see me like that.
As I celebrated like an idiot, I didn't notice someone was watching me. But who cares about that person? They might misunderstand me as a crazy scumbag, but I was already like one anyway.
'Who cares? Who cares about the opinion of others? Hahaha, I'm filthy rich. I will become an instant millionaire when I converted it from USD to PHP, lol.'
"By the way, how much does it cost in our era anyway?" I gladly inquired. "Forty thousand, human. No, I am sorry, but it is worth more than forty million," the talking drone responded earnestly.
'Jackpot! I'm going to become rich! Very rich!' I overjoyed.
"Oh, well, I guess I don't need to work abroad. Goodbye, OFW life! Ma, Pa, I'm heading back now. I will form a company under my name. And married to the beautiful girl of my dreams. Goodbye, my lonely single life!" I danced happily, ignoring the presence of the robot. "I'm glad you're happy about it. Oh, well, I guess I need to understand the true value of the fiscal currency of this era," the talking drone commented.
'Goodbye ~. Goodbye, OFW life~. Hello~, hello~ my future CEO life~' I pratted as I move my body to dance until I remembered something very important.
"Oh, by the way, Forty million of what country's currency?" I asked out of curiosity. "Rial...," the talking drone answered.
My lips curled up happily. My eyes glistered as I imagined a luxurious life.
'Qatar Rial? Saudi Rial? Abu Dhabi? Oman? UAE? What middle eastern country is it? I want to know!'
"Oh, it's rial. I'm glad. But what country anyway?" I queried. "Wansantum Rial, human," the talking drone responded promptly.
My body was stunned for a second.
It took me for a few minutes to snap back to reality.
"Wait for a second, please. Wansantum Rial?" I questioned again with a trembling body. "Yup, Wansantum Rial," the talking drone nodded.
I pulled out my phone instantly. I type the currency [USD to Wansatum Rial]. But I found nothing but this: [1 USD = 100,000,000,000,000,000 WR].
As I type the number, I knelt down and genuflected on the floor.
"Human, are you okay?" the talking drone asked. "Do I look okay? Look, take a look! That's not even worthy of my labor," I extended my phone and showed its amount.
'Ten thousand golds, my ass. It's not even worth less a pebble or a speck of dirt!' I cried inside my head.
"Oh, I apologize. I didn't mean to break your heart," the talking drone giggled. "You fuckin' son of a bitch," I stood up on my feet and walked away.
This talking drone loved to tease me too much.
"What happened to your, 'Goodbye OFW' mode, human? I just cannot believe you will go dancing like an idiot," the talking drone made fun of me. "Don't talk to me again, robot. I'm going to pick up my luggage now. How about you help me find it?" I commanded. "Affirmative, human," the talking drone gladly accepted and obediently followed.
As we finally found my personal assets, I decided to learn something from this object.
"Hey, do you have a name?" I asked. "Yes," the talking drone nodded.
"Let me introduce myself, my name is Holmer. How about you?" I added. "Oh, you're funny. I know you already know my name. But never mind. I guess, your mind is a bit shaky. You gave me the name 'Baku' anyway," the talking drone responded.
'Named you? Since when?' I tilted my head to the side.
"Okay, nice to know your name, Baku," I admitted. "Thank you, human," Baku effused.
Finally, I was reunited with it. I could finally say goodbye to this tragic experience. I had to catch the plane before it was too late.
Suddenly, someone tapped a hand on my back.
"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" the pink-haired girl asked. "I'm repacking," I answered bluntly.
"Oh, that's nice. I have never seen a hunter who brought a lot of luggage by themselves. Don't you think it is a bad idea to bring your things on this mission?" the pink-haired girl shot me another question. "I'm sorry. But I believe you misunderstand our situation right now. Take a look at me. Do I look like a hunter? No. Now, give me space. I have a plane to catch up," I carried my things on my shoulder and walked.
"Wow... Is that part of your training? Those things are cheap-looking things. I wanna learn it too. Do you want me to lend you a hand, savior?" the pink-haired girl offered. "I'm happy about your offer. But I can handle this much. Now, step aside," I smiled a fake one, and continued to walk.
However, this girl kept buggin' me until we reached the exit.
"Hey, hey, my name is Helena von Adrielle, the Invisible Dark Mage. What's your name, savior?" she asked earnestly. "Hmm... Secret. Now, leave me alone, woman," I kept a distance and passed her.
The teenager's face pouted.
"Hey, I'm sorry if I was a bitch earlier. But please, don't ignore me. I want to ask you a lot of techniques, you see," Helena pestered me with a difficult and stupid sentence. "I have no idea what are you talking about. But leave me alone, will ya," I sighed.
"Oh, hey, the plane arrived. Let's go back now. Where are you going anyway? Our ride is over there, you know," Helena pointed an index in the direction where our companions were located at. "To my future. Now get out," I used my lips to shoo her away, but it failed.
"Eh, future? Is that a code? That's a very high-level word. My gosh, you know a lot about the hunter's life. As expected of a High-class hunter, you're fun to watch. I wanna learn about it," Helena rejoiced. "I like this woman. She's no idiot to disrespect you, human. I guess she has the potential to become a great human being," Baku commented.
'My goodness, get out of my sight. Both of you are mad. I am a normal human being! Now excuse me. My future awaits me. The American dollar, here... comes Daddy Holmer!' I slowly opened the door with my foot as I imagined a wonderful life in the United States of America.
Thirty minutes later.
An armed group blocked my path.
"Ms. Helena, this is the wrong place to visit. But we'll allow you to see them for the last time. And you sir, Sir Killstreak have something to tell you, so please give us your personal name and identification card. It appears you're going to come with Ms. Invisible Dark Mage, so maybe take this phone instead and check it later, okay? We will tell him that you ride on her plane then. Just message him when you're open, sir. By the way, we are the STF support team that is tasked to safely escort the Princess to her plane. Please follow us," an officer of STF guided us as I kept looking at the plane.
"I see. Thanks. By the way, are you teaching me how to say goodbye to those commoners on the plane? I see. This is training to understand human behavior. Phew, I'm glad we are allowed to step into this fly zone area. Oh, there it is. Ba-bye!" the pink-haired girl waved a hand to say goodbye to the passengers inside to my international ride. Whilst I was mourning in despair.
No matter what I did, they didn't allow me to step inside. I ain't a hunter. I ain't even registered member of the United Nations Special Task Force or had an affiliation with the world government neither!
'I am just a nobody, but a civilian! An innocent civilian!'
The plane had already left the airport. Including my soul.
"Sir Savior, Sir Savior, my father sent me a new target. How about you teach me some techniques for killing people without using my mana?" Helena chattered. "Hmmm?" I slowly shifted my face like a robot at her.
"Teach me, okay? Where are you heading for anyway?" asked Helena eagerly. "Los Angeles," I subconsciously replied with a colorless emotion.
The cute girl jumped in ecstasy.
"Oh, my gosh, you read my mind again. Daddy is there too. I'm going to introduce you to him then. Kyaaa, we're going to California!" Helena rejoiced.
I snapped back to reality.
That time another nightmare came into my life.
'Noooooo!' I cried inside my head.
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