First Love

You were always the spark that lit up my life even in the darkest moments. We were never apart, and you always looked at me like I was everything to you; and you were everything to me too. I knew that night... That stupid fucking night. The way you smiled at me, your light hazelnut hair flowing with the wind.

"I love you, Jamison."

I remember how I let out an awkward laugh, confused where this was coming from. I remember smiling at you, hugging you.

"I love you too, Tal. Always."

Your usually bright green eyes looked somewhat dull that day, and maybe that was the first sign. The way your lips were slightly cracked and there was something more behind your gaze. Like you wanted to tell me something, but you couldn't.

And in my stupidity, I didn't press further. It's not that I didn't care, it's the opposite. I cared too much and I didn't wanna make you upset or uncomfortable or anything like that. Which is just ironic, really.

So I got in my car and left, which ended up being my biggest mistake.

That was the last time I ever got to see you in person. The last time I got to see your smile up close, and hear your voice. It was the last time I was ever really happy.

The thud of the car made my eyes jolt open, body trembling as I let out a quiet gasp. "S-Shit..." The words came out more as a mutter as I looked around, seeing the car door next to me open as the cool September air hit my face.

"Come on," My dad's voice was low and hoarse. "Out."

I didn't say anything as I nodded, grabbing the small bag with my clothes as the soft rain began to beat down on me. My dad couldn't even bring himself to look at me as a man carrying an umbrella walked out.

"Jamison, right?" His voice was smooth as he looked at me with cool blue eyes, "I'm Principal Harris, although you can just call me Xavier."

"Right. Okay." I shrugged, not caring much at all for what he had to say.

My words seemed to pass right through him as he nodded, "Very well then. Do you have anything you'd like to say to your father before we head inside?"

I looked at him, taking note of how he couldn't seem more than disinterested in the entire situation.

"Bye." I just scoffed and shook my head, crossing my arms as I began to walk forward to the front doors. Xavier said something to my dad before following me inside. After entering the building I was immediately taken aback by how neat and clean everything was. Other boys wearing red uniforms with a golden-yellow trim flooded the halls. I felt a small twinge of anxiousness wash over me as I heard the door behind me open.

"I'd like to welcome you to our school, first and foremost. I know it can be a very disorientating change, and if you were to have any problems or something..." He began, looking over to the glass container containing a ton of trophies.

"We'd always be there to help, or something like that." I finished with crossed arms and a glance off to the side. “I’ve done this song and dance before.”

He frowned as he nodded. "Yeah, something like that. But I would like to show you up to your room and help you get settled. Afterwards, you're gonna join the rest of the boys at lunch and finish off your day with a few classes."

"Okay." I nodded, pursing my lips as he handed me a card and a paper.

"Your ID, and your timetable."

I rolled my eyes, stuffing the card in my pocket as I took a peek at the paper. "Yeah, thanks."

He gave me a curt smile as he headed for the stairs, I followed and soon enough I was awkwardly standing outside my dorm, trying to ease my anxiety by looking at the grooves of the dark wood that it was made from.

"Your roommate previously owned this room to himself, we asked him to prepare half a side for you. With that said, please get everything unpacked and be ready for lunch at twelve."

"Right," My voice was soft as he gave me a pat on the shoulder and headed back down to where the stairs are. I let out a sigh as I put a hand on the doorknob, opening it to reveal a messy room with cream coloured walls and a lone window in the center of the room.

One side of the room was decorated lightly, a football poster on the wall and a football shaped pillow thrown on the bed. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out that my roommate must really like football. I went over to the cleared side and sat on the bed, throwing my bag next to me. I began rummaging through it, getting my clothes out and stuffing them inside the small dresser on my side.

Part of me wondered why I even had to bring clothes, considering I'd be wearing a uniform like ninety percent of the time. I didn't question it as I finished setting up, and once all my clothes were out I had one picture left at the bottom of my bag. It wasn't my dad, it wasn't my mom, and it definitely wasn't my ex.

It was her.

My platonic soulmate. Taliyah. I stared at the photo for a brief second as my breathing hitched, but I caught myself and quickly set it down on the bedside table. One sniffle and I had calmed myself down, pulling my phone out of my pocket. It was only eleven-thirty so I laid back, my head hitting the pillow as I stared at the ceiling.

How did things get so bad?

Why am I here? Have I really gone downhill that badly? Maybe all the class skipping caught up with me. Maybe my dad got tired of always having something to say, because after Taliyah died I refused to be a pushover like my mom was. But was that a mistake?

I didn’t get to reflect for much longer, as the door to the dorm swung open and a boy my age strolled in with a bag over his chest. He shut the door and turned to me, seeming almost shocked by my presence. His blue eyes seemed friendly as they met my hazel ones.

“Uh…” He cleared his throat, “You must be my roommate. Jamison?”

"Y-Yeah. They... Didn't tell me your name, sorry."

"No worries. I'm Will. It's nice to meet you." He walked over as I stood up, shaking my hand. "I didn't expect you to be here so early."

He gave me a cautious glance, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair as he smiled a bit.

“You have beautiful eyes.”