Supernatural Fantasy Pet Store Commercial!
Hi, I'm Vlad. I run a supernatural fantasy pet store. We got slimes, gremlins, kappa, imps, even a few ghosts. But my shining treasures?
Einstein, the zombie cat! Needs a steady diet of brains of course, but really likes fish brains, I'm not kitten. Problem is, I'm clawful at fishing. I'm no good at sewing either, the flesh just keeps coming off and she needs an actual seamstress or else I'm worried she's going to fall apart. But Einstein's super well behaved. She just sits there moaning like it's unbearable torture to even be on this Earth. It's so cute! Einstein's favorite toy is the occult pentagram, she likes to lie down and feel the spirits from beyond the ether try to take her away.
This is Jacob. I had a little girl come in and asked her to name him since, like, I was expecting a dog name like Fido or Fetch, but the girl just finished reading a certain book. Anyway, I do think Jacob's the most lovable of the bunch. He acts like a dog most of the time except during full moons. You might have guessed it. I keep telling customers they gotta have a strong cage, but when I go to audit, it's either a bunch of sticks tied together or a medieval torture dungeon. Jacob's more than that. If you want to adopt him and aren't a weird bookish little girl, nor a cheapskate hero that cuts corners when he shouldn't, nor a twisted, sadistic princess that needs a better hobby, then come by and have a look.
And this is Green, the vampire trapped as a bat. People usually think I'm the vampire but no it's this pest right here. Called him green because it's the opposite of the color of my blood, because he's petty and flaps his wings in my face when I don't give enough. Well, I do want to get rid of him, but as a shop owner, I have to warn you. He bites you in weird places. I wake up one morning and he's like, under the blanket, and I'm like, oh he better not be where I think he is. And then I see him sucking on my ankle. So you're warned. Maybe you can train him to be a carrier pigeon. He doesn't burn in the daylight in this form, but he does act like a grumpy sleepyhead. Also, sadistic princess, my offer to give you this flying rat still stands. He might have bit my ankle that one time, but all the other times makes me think he deserves the torture dungeon.
So there you have it! It's cool if you get a slime or an imp, but these three cuddly creatures are the bee's knees! We're open every day of the week and our selection changes regularly, so come on down to the supernatural fantasy pet store, named the Supernatural Fantasy Pet Store! Located just left of Agatha's Maliciously Enchanted Jewelry, you can't miss it!