Chapter 1:

Love and Hate

My Secret Feelings

Have you ever loved someone? Ever hated someone? I'm assuming everyone has. At least once, right?

For me, it's as if I hate and love one person. Is that even possible? To love your enemy? Well, in my case it is. I consider myself a good actress because of this huge...mess. It's a long story.

"Anne! Anne! Wait!"

I turned around with a sigh. I recognized the voice, so I mentally prepared myself for some kind of stupid punch line, or trash thrown at my face.

Orion grinned and handed me a wrapper. A clear plastic wrapper-about the size of my thumb. Before I could throw it back at him or yell at him, he had already bolted off to the cafeteria without another word.

The only thing I could do was stare at the wrapper in my hand. I half-heartedly threw it away in a trash can at the end of the hallway, before going back to French class to wait for Avery to finish her test. Our original plan was for me to save her a seat at our lunch table, however I didn't want to go into the lunch room right after Orion did.

When Avery came out, she looked at me in surprise and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Did something happen?" she asked with a sigh.

I nodded and smiled nervously. "Yeah...Orion gave me another wrapper."

Avery shook her head. "Tsk. Jerk. Lets go to the cafeteria before they run out of seats."

I nodded and hid my frown behind my smile.

Let me explain what is going on here.

Avery and I have a very complex relationship. We're not exactly friends even if that's what its like. We're more like ranting buddies; whenever something bad happens we listen to each other. Its a good system. I guess you could say we were friends in a way, but we rarely contacted each other outside of school. Avery had her own set of friends, and I also had a few acquaintances. We would sit together during lunch whenever we had issues and would work it out together.

On the other hand, Orion and I had a strange relationship. During the sixth grade (two years ago), we were forced to sit together in class since our teachers arranges us by last name. That was the first time I had actually spoken to him, and found him to be strange. However, after a while, he started teasing me. At first, it wasn't that big of a deal. A while later, things got out of hands, and Emily had to step in...(I will talk about Emily later). Somehow, after that, I found out that I was in love with Orion. I don't know how, why, or when it happened. I just kind of fell.

"Anne, dear, listen. If Orion ever does something again, just kick him. Or tell the teacher," Avery said with a sip of her milk. We weren't able to get a seat at our usual table, but managed to find some other empty seats.

I shook my head.

"Avery, it isn't as easy as you make it sound. I don't like telling the teachers every little thing. Besides, Orion already gets in trouble a lot," I paused to rephrase my words. "He is being a jerk though. I'll do something about that."

If I kept defending Orion, Avery might become suspicious and discover I actually like him. I had to watch my words whenever I talked to anyone about Orion.

Avery shrugged.

"Suit yourself," she said casually.

I stared off towards Orion's table. He was laughing with his friends. His face towards my direction, eyes meeting mine. I froze before immediately focusing my eyes on some other place.

Will I ever be able to tell him I like him? Or will I enter high school and leave it behind me?

"Anne! Stop staring at other people!" Avery hissed.

I shook my head and stared down at my tray. What am I going to do?

When lunch was over, I gathered up my scraps and threw it over to the ginormous trash can. Most kids had already left the room to rush to their next class. Avery had left earlier as well. I quickly realized that rushing to class was a bad choice. You could easily get run over. The cafeteria had four doors, all located on the same wall. They allowed us to travel to one of three hallways. The two doors in the middle led to the main hallway, where most of us left our binders before going to lunch. The other two hallways both led to different classrooms on different sides of the building.

As I turned to leave the lunch room, I heard the door to my right open with a loud CRASH.



"Anne! Wait for me while I get my stuff!"

Orion rushed off to his lunch table and grabbed a stack of papers that were on the ground.

I was frozen. Did he just tell me to wait for him?

He rushed back to me with the stack of papers in his arm and a smile.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked. "Open the door."

I was jerked awake from my trance and I moved to open the door. He walked through and waited for me to come out before walking upstairs with me.

"Why were you still in there Anne?" he asked.


"Ah...are you still mad about the wrapper?" he asked.


"Anyways, Mrs. Eunge is only a math teacher, yet she's killing so many trees. I'd expect one of the language arts teachers to be using more trees." Orion said with an awkward laugh.

I glared at him. "Stop trying to make small conversation!" I snapped.

It was silent the rest of the way upstairs.

Orion and I both happened to be in Geometry. I don't know how he successfully passed algebra without knowing how to solve or simplify quadratics and linear equations. He often gets B's and C's in class, but it was only because he didn't bother to do homework.

"Mrs. Eunge! I brought the printouts!" Orion said as he rushed into the room.

Our Geometry class was small, composed of twelve people. We were all friends...more or less.

I had dropped my binders inside the math room earlier before going down to lunch. We were switching seats today, but the seat next to me was yet to be filled.

Finally, I walked to the front of the room, where the seating chart was. I didn't see it earlier, since Mrs. Eunge didn't put it out yet. She just told me where to set my stuff.

I scanned it, until I saw my name. I read the name next to mine and felt like fainting.


I walked back to my seat and covered my face. Orion was talking to Mrs. Eunge about the handout. When more people walked into the classroom, they patted my back and said they were sorry. The whole grade knew about our relationship, and it was also the most popular topic of discussion.

When Orion saw the seating chart, he looked a little surprised as well, but sat next to me without complaint.

"Alright class! Today, we will be reviewing linear equations! I am sure all of you know how to solve these already, but a review would help wouldn't it?"

All eyes turned to Orion. His worse subject in algebra was linear equations.

"Anyways, work with the person next to you. You have the whole class period to finish up. Get through or eight!" Mrs. Eunge finished with a smile.