Chapter 1:

Little Horny Horned Snake

Martial King’s Lewd Dreams

I have read a thousand erotic novels. Usually, even the most blandest of people can become protagonists in ero-novels... so why... was 'I' the only one left out? Did the Gods make a mistake?Bookmark here

To the heavens above: Have mercy on me!Bookmark here

I do not want much. Just one beautiful wife. You don't need to give me a harem, one wife is enough!Bookmark here

"...What are you doing?" A local Buddhist asked as I was praying at the temple. How dare he disturb?!Bookmark here

"Can't you you tell, huh?! What, are you really a Buddhist?" I was praying to my man, Buddha.Bookmark here

Please, hear my calls! Grace me with a wife!Bookmark here

"No, I mean... You're staring too hard at my disciple." Erm... You're just imagining things~Bookmark here

*Cough* I turned my head away from the bald bombshell. My strike zone was way too wide...Bookmark here

But damn it, I thought my stares were hidden...?Bookmark here

Looks like I must reach a higher mastery in my 'Peeking' Art. That way, I'll never be caught again.Bookmark here

"Can you leave?" The big Buddhist monk 'requested me', and I, being the most gracious gentleman that I am, left without saying another word. My footsteps revealed my heart of no shame.Bookmark here

Do even decrepit Monks have good Martial Spirits?Bookmark here

That bald bastard can summon a tiger. While for me... I can only summon a little horned snake...?Bookmark here

The heavens are unfair!Bookmark here

Daddy Kang, Momma Kang, you guys are the worst. Couldn't you have given me a good one?Bookmark here

I remember my father's words like yesterday...Bookmark here

"Son..." He'd grabbed my shoulder on that day. A sadness overcame his voice: "You lost the lottery."Bookmark here

"Which one?"Bookmark here

"The genetic lottery, my son. I, your good Daddy Kang, am ashamed. You had great potential..." I think he was talking about my genes back then. It seems both my parents had strong Martial Spirits.Bookmark here

My dad had the 'Million Poison Grass Snake' Martial Spirit, and my mom had the 'Imperial Horned Boa Constrictor'. And yet, here I was born with a simple 'Black Horned Grass Snake'.Bookmark here

"What's wrong with that?"Bookmark here

"You were born without the constitution of your mother's Martial Spirit, nor the poison of my own."Bookmark here

"Is that bad?"Bookmark here

"Real bad!"Bookmark here

"Can I swap it out...?"Bookmark here

"Maybe in your next reincarnation." The grown man cried more than me when it came to my talents.Bookmark here

I mean, it's not hard to understand. My dad was sorry he couldn't give me the life of a protagonist.Bookmark here

For the rest of my life, I'll be a side character compared to those who have Legendary Spirits or even those extremely rare Twin Spirits. For me, this was the greatest stigma others mocked me for. Bookmark here

It made me a little emotionally unstable in my youth. To the point I considered working as the Host Bar in Lavender Pavilion. That way, I could get some booty without having to struggle that much.Bookmark here

However, my mom stopped me...Bookmark here

"You'll regret your decision." Momma Kang said those words so seriously, that I couldn't ignore it.Bookmark here

"Huh...? How would I regret?"Bookmark here

"Girls there don't treat their males well. They also impose heavy restrictions on the Host's freedom."Bookmark here

"Ummm... Why does mom know that?"Bookmark here

*Cough cough* "Err... Reasons." She turned her head. Mom wasn't really good at deception.Bookmark here

Momma Kang was so cute~Bookmark here

But still... I took her words to heart. It was only later on in life did I realise what she was getting at.Bookmark here

Although it seemed like I could get what my heart desired from going there, that wasn't the case.Bookmark here

Joy, intimacy, connection... Those kind of things were all an illusion if you bought it from them.Bookmark here

It made my first time feel hollow and empty when I went to the Redlight District and became a customer. The prostitutes there were nice, but the coldness in their eyes made my lower body limp.Bookmark here

There was no way I could finish properly. Even trying to get to know them was a useless farce.Bookmark here

They'd been far too hurt to feel the same...Bookmark here

I wish there would be an opportunity for me to form a much closer relationship. A more sexier bond!Bookmark here

"Help..."Bookmark here

Hmmm, am I hearing things?Bookmark here

"Help!"Bookmark here

Something so cliche can't happen in broad daylight, right? What are the odds of it happening?Bookmark here

"HELP ME!" I finally turned my head to see that there was a woman being bullied on the street.Bookmark here

Three bald men were hovering around her like disgusting flies. Mostly because they were men.Bookmark here

Honestly, what I wanted was for them to get out of the way so my eyes could see her pretty face.Bookmark here

Walking around a little, it was finally time for me to see who that cute voice belonged to, and as I'd expected, she was a bombshell~ Those long white legs, those doe eyes, those boobs, big... boobs...Bookmark here

What am I waiting for?Bookmark here

Isn't this the moment I'd been waiting for my whole life. Isn't this why I'd cultivated my meagre skills?Bookmark here

Acupuncture, medicine, training under a waterfall to learning the Kang Family secret technique. Bookmark here

What had I not done for my ambitions?Bookmark here

Looking at their savage features, my body shook in fear of how much it would hurt if they hit me.Bookmark here

However, another feeling beat down my fear, gave it a wedgy, spun it around, before giving it a supreme beat down. Yes... My horny ambitions were driving out the fears that overcame me!Bookmark here

"Halt, in the name of love and justice!" I stretched out my hand and got the attention of the trio.Bookmark here

The three scar-faced bandits turned around. Their faces were scary enough that I had to continue.Bookmark here

Otherwise, their faces alone would break my momentum. That's how scary they looked...!Bookmark here

"How dare you evildoers commit acts in front of me, Kang Hyuk, the hero of love and fertility!"Bookmark here

{Did he just say fertility?} Was what was written on their faces. They looked at each other confusedly.Bookmark here

"Even if the heavens forgive you, I, Kang Hyuk of the three swords, will never let you rest in peace!"Bookmark here

As I stood there and yelled at them, they started scratching their heads in wonder of my actions.Bookmark here

"Hey, you don't have three swords. I only see two on your waist." The shortest of them pointed out.Bookmark here

"Don't you dare interrupt me! I'll slap you with my third sword, you bastards!" I roared in anger.Bookmark here

As if understanding my joke, the beautiful woman holding a handkerchief to her red lips giggled.Bookmark here

It was only then did the bandit turn red in anger.Bookmark here

"How dare-!"Bookmark here

"Today, evil shall not take another dirty breath!" I finally psyched myself up and charged at the trio.Bookmark here

"Wait!" The biggest and most savage looking of the trio roared in a level-headed manner towards me.Bookmark here

Damn it! What did they want now...?!Bookmark here

"Explain yourself...!"Bookmark here

"I think fellow martial brother had us all wrong. A respectable hero wouldn't meddle in this at all."Bookmark here

"And why the hell not?!"Bookmark here

"Because... this woman is actually a prostitute of Orchid Pavilion. She is a vile and dirty woman! I dare say that it was her who seduced us three brothers." The large man licked his lips wickedly.Bookmark here

"I didn't...! They're lying!" The woman cried innocently. This made me think back to the past.Bookmark here

"Son, remember: There are times criminals join forces and pretend to be sheep in order to devour wannabe heroes. You have to be careful." After remembering the words of my dad, I looked at them carefully... but found no indication of that.Bookmark here

It looked like this woman was truly being bullied for no reason. That's why I was even more confident.Bookmark here

"She said you're lying."Bookmark here

"But I'm telling the truth! She really is a lewd prostitute...!" The man did not let go of that fact.Bookmark here

The 'Pure White Orchid Pavilion' was well-known in this town's Redlight District. It was a dark place.Bookmark here

No honest gentleman who wanted to keep his reputation would ever go anywhere near there.Bookmark here

But was the man standing here a 'gentleman'?Bookmark here

"Well, jokes on you. My dad also worked there." I spoke the words that made everyone's jaw drop.Bookmark here

That's right! Daddy Kang wasn't just a Martial Master. My Daddy was every lady's 'Daddy'!Bookmark here

"...Why are you saying that so proudly? And you dare say those heroic lines about evildoers-"Bookmark here

"Blindspot!" I grabbed the man and threw him onto the ground before he could finish his sentence.Bookmark here

"Brother!" The two other bandits were incensed by my sneak attack. They tried summoning spirits.Bookmark here

Normally, it was only honourable to stop and wait for the opponent to fully power themselves before fighting. Ha! What 'honour'? My arms lowered as I used the Kang Family's first secret technique!Bookmark here

[Castration Art: Threefold Family Jewel Breaker!]Bookmark here

My foot vanished for a moment, and all three bandits felt their lower bodies become lighter.Bookmark here

It's because their eggs broke upon impact.Bookmark here

They cried. Internal Qi was dispersed as they made horrific noises no woman could ever understand.Bookmark here

I turned me back on them coolly. Ah, this was the fate of my enemies. I am such a callous devil...Bookmark here

Oh woe is me. A weak man who had no choice but to go on the dark path. No one could ever understand what I feel. As I was busy posing, my eyes opened just a little see what the damsel was doing. Somehow, she actually seemed impressed.Bookmark here

"Thank you...!" She dived into my chest and hugged me. This gave me a good opportunity to take a whiff of her fragrant scent. As expected, she really WAS a high class woman in that pavilion.Bookmark here

Judging from the feel of her soft skin, from the materials of her modest yet easy to strip clothes, to the way she walked. This woman was definitely someone who had her own secret background.Bookmark here

"You aren't going to complain of my methods?" My heart was already prepared for some criticisms.Bookmark here

I mean, was there any woman who wanted to be saved like this? Didn't they want their good 'hero'?Bookmark here

"I'm not the such a unscrupulous woman that I'd complain to my saviour. What can I do to repay you?" She leaned her body against me. From this point, there was no way I didn't know her meaning.Bookmark here

When my arms wrapped around her waist, it felt like her body would just disappear if I let go. The softness and flexibility of her body was akin to finest fabrics. As if I was wrapped in fine cotton.Bookmark here

There was a part of me that felt a little afraid. The memory of those cold eyes I'd gotten behind a friendly smile at that flower pavilion resurfaced. It made cold sweat run down my back in anguish.Bookmark here

However, one couldn't gain if they're not daring!Bookmark here

I forced myself to look into her eyes as she looked at me. There, I saw something vastly different.Bookmark here

Sincerity...Bookmark here

Though others may mock her, she was truly a woman who looked at me for who I was. Even though others call me despicable, she only saw what was in front of her eyes; not my dark past.Bookmark here

"You know... I'm not a nice gentleman." I didn't know why, but I tried escaping her grasp, only to find myself stuck in her embrace. She laughed alluringly once again and drew in my weak self.Bookmark here

"And I'm not a pure girl."Bookmark here

"I might get clingy..."Bookmark here

"That's fine. Let's introduce ourselves then."Bookmark here

"My name is Kang Hyuk."Bookmark here

"Mine is Bai Lingyun."Bookmark here

"...Miss Bai, can we keep in contact? If you're uncomfortable with this, then I could just leave."Bookmark here

"Isn't that even better? I never said I'd repay you only once, did I?" She tempted me with her eyes.Bookmark here

My desire for social validation kicked in, and I wasn't able to resist her advances whatsoever.Bookmark here

No, this was what I came for!Bookmark here

I'm a winner in life! Finally, I'm now getting a booty call without having to pay someone off first.Bookmark here

I could die happy n-Bookmark here

*Cht!*Bookmark here

Suddenly, I felt a cold object enter my back, and the woman before me screamed. My red fluids dirtied her hands. My eyes turned back to see one of those 'broken eggs' barely managed to stab me.Bookmark here

I let down my guard...Bookmark here

"Mr. Kang! Kang Hyuk! Please... P-please stay with me! Noooo!" Miss Bai stuttered as she held me.Bookmark here

It makes me remember of how mom used to hold me. So gentle... so loving... like she cared for me.Bookmark here

Her eyes gradually started turning red from rage that never arose on her face even when being threatened. She stopped herself from yanking the sword out of my back, keeping it firmly in place.Bookmark here

I'm surprised she knew that moving it would only lead to me bleeding out. She laid me on the floor.Bookmark here

"Aaaah!" I heard the bandits cries of pain, before the people behind me turned quite somehow...Bookmark here

I wasn't sure what she did to them. My back was facing upwards, so my face was on the ground.Bookmark here

My consciousness was fading fast...Bookmark here

"Kang... No, Hyuk... I'm sorry. I can't save you." It was at this point she seemed resigned to my fate.Bookmark here

Nothing could be done to help me...Bookmark here

"I-it's fine. I was careless." Even though it wasn't like I was dying a virgin, I still spoke insincerely.Bookmark here

A part of me didn't want her to feel bad. This was solely my responsibility. I'd let down my guard.Bookmark here

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Reality was different from fiction. No one could stay detached to death.Bookmark here

Murder was tragic no matter where it happened. If you knew the person even a little bit, then their death would affect you. Will these be my last moments? Well, at least I'm dying in a girl's arms.Bookmark here

"Hehe, I'm proud... Hey, did you fall for me-"Bookmark here

*Cough* Blood started clogging my throat. I puked out a lot of it, but it wouldn't stop interfering with my breathing. I'd ran out of time and couldn't talk anymore, my body was becoming colder over time.Bookmark here

Miss Bai leaned over and whispered in my ear:Bookmark here

"Actually, the reason I couldn't fight earlier was because I'd self-sealed my Martial Spirit. I was resolved to punish myself... for who I was. Thank you... I'll never forget you." She spoke quietly.Bookmark here

There was a storm brewing beneath her tone that I couldn't understand. Her emotions were complex.Bookmark here

It was than my mind finally blacked out.Bookmark here

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