If my emotions were to return, would the world be more beautiful?
"It's uncomfortable to talk to you...", "Why don't you react properly?", "Read the atmosphere a little would you? What a nuisance...".
No less than a dozen times had I heard those words, piercing my ears time and time again. I had always wondered if I could be normal like others.
If I was to be able to convey my emotions and feel again, would anything change for me? Would I be able to view the world in a much positive and colorful manner?
Countless books of various genres had always described how beautiful and blissful the world is, albeit cruel, merciless. But yet the only world I could see is a blank and monotonous one, devoid of any emotions or colors.
"Say Yuusuke, I know that you aren't really enjoying your time here in high school. The rumors are spreading throughout the school. 'Mood-Breaker', 'Can't read the atmosphere, 'The weirdo', the dead kid'. It sure looks like you have quite the reputation here."
"Hah...That's the first I ever heard of those, and besides, I’m completely content with my current situation now, so you don't really have to worry about me that much, Kouda-Sensei.
I replied monotonously to Kouda-sensei, who called me into the guidance counselor room after school.
"Don't you have a club you are in, or at least interested in?
"I'm a full-fledged member of the Go-Home-Club (GHC)."
".... You know that's not the answer I was looking for. Have you even made a single friend yet during your time here? It has only been a mere 2 months since you came to this school but yet the rumors about you are everywhere"
Mr. Kouda commented to me with a frown and a slight hint of dissatisfaction in his eyes.
"Seeing that I go home straight away right after school, I don't really see the need for me to make a friend in school. Besides, I do have friends you know?”
Widening his eyes, Kouda-sensei looked at me and blink a few times, before repeating what I said to get a confirmation out of me.
“My friends are the various books on my shelf at home and my bed. And I am not interested in joining a club that doesn't fit me, I would just kill the atmosphere there."
"Sigh...It doesn't look like you will change anytime soon, that's all I have for you today. You can go back to your 'club' now. I will see you again next week. "
"Got it, thanks for your time Kouda-Sensei."
I briefly thank the school guidance counselor before I walked off."
"You know Yuusuke? If there isn't a club you like here, why don't you make one of your own then? Well, not that you will be keen to do it."
With the sudden farewell comment made by Kouda-sensei, I stopped dead in my tracks and blanked out for a few seconds before continuing my exit. Right as I left, my mind had me muttered a few words that I did not think anyone would hear.
".... I will think about it..."
As I was closing the door, I could hear Kouda-sensei letting out a small chuckle at my statement.