Dec 22, 2021
To:N. D. Skordilis
Thank you so much for this comment. I really appreciate your comments on the prose, I've actually been somewhat self-critical on the prose in the beginning! It might just be a lack of confidence, but I felt a lack of the "rhythm" of the prose right in the beginning, but I think that was just me getting my bearings. For a first chapter, I think it came out well.
In terms of not revealing too much of the plot, that was definitely a big guiding principle during this first chapter. It kind of came from two places. The first is just a genuine desire to have a lot of tension and mystery in the story (it's funny, I first imagined ArchAccel as a fantasy isekai, but as I write it's shaping up to be a spy drama in it's own special way!). The second, I think, is a slight lack of confidence over keeping the writing engaging, and I think that turned into a desire to try and avoid "info dumps". However, I think there's a balancing act, because even if the reader isn't bored, they might get confused. So I had to learn how to use what they call "infodumps" tactically, and not fear them lol.
I love that you pointed out Aurora's blushing! She will do a lot of that in the story, mainly around other girls haha. There are definitely some slight yuri undertones in the story!
About the dialogue tags, that's definitely something that's been in the back of my mind. As I've written on, I've been trying to be more careful about that. I try to remember that even though it makes sense in my head (since I wrote it), the flow might be lost to the reader. In the future I might go back and add dialogue tags, just to add some clarity to the dialogue.
But yeah, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy reading on further!
Dec 21, 2021
This set up is so cool! I love the names (Gaia, Naturecaust) too. So many deaths.... I'm excited to read more to see how society changed.
Dec 20, 2021
Awesome first chapter! You write very confidently, this is punchy and fun. I love the immature protagonist and the insane action. I can definitely see the Chainsaw Man influence!