Jan 02, 2022
Good start!
Needs a little editing. But I want to know more. I'll continue to read!
Only thing that confused me was when you said, "those eyes." I'm not sure what that means? If it's meant to be a secret, you could put them in quotation marks like I've done about or maybe add a little more detail without revealing anything. Or just put "those" in italics too. That would solve it.
Hope this feedback helps a little