[S1] Chapter 6: Sleep

"Is it all right if I sleep a little longer?"

I'm unsure if these words were going through my head or if I actually said them. My eyes are still closed. I feel like I've been floating on clouds for ages. Every now and then, I fall out of them and hit the ground heavily. Still, before I can get used to the pain, a warm, comforting feeling surrounds me again and blows away everything unpleasant.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Aww, man."

"Relax, I won't drag you out of bed."

"Thank you."

"No problem, but how about you try opening your eyes."

"If I have to."

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the difficult task ahead. My eyelids are heavier than ever, but I can do it.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting that."

"What?"

"That you're actually opening your eyes. We played this game for the fourth time now."

It takes a moment for my vision to adjust to the light again, and even though it's still blurry, I recognize Miko sitting on a chair next to me.

"What happened?" my memories are as unclear as my eyesight. I remember trying to heal this impaled guy. I was in pain, and on the way to the hospital, I got an injection.

"Your body was totally fucked up. You had a fever of over 41°C, and the inflammation levels in your blood were more than worrying. The doctors seemed overwhelmed. But instead of dying, your body has simply recovered. You are on strong drugs all the time, but your vitals are almost back to normal."

"How long was I gone?"

"Around 24 hours."

"Felt longer."

"Oh really?"

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Where else would I have been?"

"Thank you, Miko."

"It's fine."

"Is that guy from the guild here too?"

She shakes her head, but her face tells me she's about to laugh. Not quite what I expected.

"He was released this morning. Even last night, he was in much better condition than you. When he came into this room to check on you, I shooed him away. No worries, I gladly did."

"He's doing well?"

"Too well if you ask me."

I have no attachment to him, but it's a massive weight off my mind to hear that he's alive.

"Now that you're awake, I'll go and tell the nurse. Then we can get out of here soon."

"Thank you, and I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Who said I was worried? And if you want to apologize, apologize to Lilith. She's paying for this whole thing."

With Miko out of the room, I take a look around, lying in bed, as it goes without saying... I don't feel like getting up yet.

The room looks pretty much the same as they did back then. My mother was hospitalized for a long time, which is why I have a particular dislike for these places. But the medication that is currently being pumped into my veins not only helps against physical pain, it also soothes my mind.

Nevertheless, the smell that surrounds me is repelling. Back then, I used to bury my face in my mother's hair to escape it, but in the end, the smell of this room was the only thing that remained. It's crazy how everything comes back through this one memory. Not just smells but also images and voices. As if I had traveled back in time.

As a child, I spent a lot of time with my friends, inside and outside school. I hardly noticed how my mother's health was steadily declining. She would wake me up in the morning with a charming smile, prepare breakfast, and take me to school. I should have noticed that something was going on when this routine became less and less frequent.

When I was eight or nine years old, my head was filled with many things, but not with the suspicion that my mother was terminally ill.

Only when she was admitted to the hospital, it clicked for me. My parents told me that my mother had been undergoing treatment for several months. As a child, I could only think of one illness that could destroy a person so quickly.

Cancer.

While my parents tried to give me hope that my mother would get better, it wasn't just the doctors who were aware that I was being lied to.

"Why don't you just heal yourself?"

"Healing magic helps to heal things faster, but unfortunately, it can't heal anything meant to be broken."

"You told me magic is something wonderful."

"It is, but you can't force it to create miracles."

Thinking back, my mother seemed very composed while telling me she was beyond help. Perhaps that was also why I had never prepared to say goodbye.

Three months after I had visited her in hospital for the first time, my father picked me up from school in the middle of class. While my heart raced uncontrollably, I didn't even form the thought that Mom could be dying.

Dad burst into tears the moment we got into the car. I started crying, too. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to.

When we stopped at the hospital, he took me in his arms and ran off. He didn't know how much time we... how much time she had left.

The instant I entered my mother's room, I stopped weeping because although I could hardly recognize her with that sunken face, her gentle smile was as beautiful as ever. It comforted me even in a moment like that.

"Kayla, my love. I'm happy you're here. Is school over already?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad you did. Hopefully, I'll be able to pick you up again soon."

"That would be nice."

I focused on her smile, which cracked right before my eyes. Her lips began to tremble uncontrollably, and even though she quickly covered her face with her hands, she couldn't hide the tears.

"I'm so sorry, Kayla, but I don't think I'll be able to pick you up again."

"That's okay, Mom. Really, I'm old enough to walk home by myself. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you for coming to see me."

The atmosphere was starting to take my breath away.

"Thank you for never getting mad at me for not playing with you anymore."

I felt like I was suffocating.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you alone."

Please stop talking.

"I really wanted to see you grow up. I'm sorry."

She started crying so hard she couldn't get another word out. I'll never forget that image of my mother. I couldn't take it anymore and ran away. My father, standing in the doorway, didn't stop me.

"Kayla? Are you crying?"

My eyes are fixed on Miko, who is just looking at me. I shrug my shoulders and shake my head slowly, unable to answer her.

"Are you in pain?"

Again, I shake my head.

"Ahh," she moans, annoyed, and slowly walks towards me. Standing before me, she puts a hand on the back of my head, presses my face to her chest, and starts to gently stroke my hair.

"If you don't like it, pull your head away, and don't you dare smear your snot on my shirt."

My nose fills with her lovely scent, the stench of the hospital slowly disappears, and with it, the sad memories.

◆

"Can you finally get rid of that disgusting self-satisfied grin?"

Sorry, Miko, I can't and won't do that.

Shortly after the little cuddle session, a doctor came to my room and did a few final checks on me before I was discharged. On Miko's advice, I didn't even open the bill that was given to me, even though I was curious how expensive all these drugs were.

"Eliza can't pick us up. I've never seen Lilith drive, so that leaves the bus or walking to get to the train station."

"Where do we even want to go?" We are still standing right outside the hospital, enjoying the fresh air. I still feel a bit wobbly on my feet, and I'm starving.

"Wherever you want to go. I thought you might want to eat something, but maybe take a shower and change your clothes first."

Now that she says it, the clothes that I changed back into are still covered in dirt after I was lying on the grass outside the dungeon yesterday. Miraculously, the poncho was the only thing that was stained with blood. Which we carry around with us in a plastic bag.

"Are you reading my mind?"

"I was just expressing my own desires."

"Makes sense. Want to shower together?"

"Sure, will you wash my back?"

I don't have to look at her to know she's trolling me. At least she got on board without calling me disgusting.

"Let's go for a walk," Miko decides.

"Fine."

I haven't been out and about in this town for ages. It's only a 15-minute drive from us, but apart from the emergency room, there's nothing here that you can't find in our city as well.

"You know the way?" After all, she's going ahead quite confidently.

"What do you think?"

"Nothing at all."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Small talk?"

"We've really talked a lot, haven't we?"

"That may be true by your standards, but tell me, is it that awful chatting with me?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just tired."

Somehow, I had suppressed the fact that Miko was by my side the whole time. It's mean to think that I wouldn't have believed her to do that, but in the end, I know I'm not much more than a colleague to her.

But that's fine for now. I won't fool myself into thinking that this will change. Ever since I helped these people with my magic, I've realized why I took this job, and having Miko around is just a bonus.

I would never have thought that helping others would make me so happy, but I feel almost proud here.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"I don't know, am I not allowed to?"

"I'm just curious."

"Probably because I'm happy that everything went well."

"I see."

I hadn't noticed that Miko even looked over, but it was nice to know she was checking up on me. I paid a bit more attention to it for the rest of the way, but she apparently noticed I was waiting for her to give me another glance. In the end, we arrived at the station without exchanging another word.

"I'll go and get the tickets."

"Do you want something from the kiosk?"

Miko interrupts her walk to the ticket machine and visibly thinks about my question.

"A latte and a sandwich. Thank you."

With her order in mind, I set off. For myself, I get strawberry milk and a chocolate bar. My whole body craves sugar, no matter what horrendous prices I have to pay for it.

With my loot packed in a bag, I meet Miko in the hall again.

"The train will be here in twenty minutes. Maybe it's already waiting, and we can get on it."

"You're definitely not allowed to eat inside."

"I couldn't care less."

"All right."

I walk through the small station lobby towards platform number one with my delinquent companion. In fact, the train is already waiting for us. Miko presses the button to open the door.

"Off to the back."

"There's first class."

"Exactly. I got us tickets for that."

"Wow, why are we traveling so classy?"

"Because the area is closed off by a door. I don't want to hear a screaming child or anyone else."

I fully empathize with Miko, but the extra 5€ was never worth it for me.

Arriving at our luxury seats, which are one-to-one like the others on the train, we face a difficult decision. Who sits by the window? As I have not paid, I dare not make any claims. But Miko notices that I'm hesitant to sit down.

"Slide in there. I don't care where I sit."

I do as I'm told and get down on the inner part of the two-seater. Miko follows and drops next to me. We're really close together here. I can hear her breathing, smell her, and notice how her eyes burrow into me.

"Can I help you?"

"I'd take my latte."

"Of course," I grab her drink from the plastic bag and hand it to her.

"Thanks."

While Miko sips her drink, I unwrap my chocolate bar and inhale it without further ado.

After a while, the train started its engine, and the steady hum somewhat lulled me. When it finally drives off, my eyes close for the first time. A sudden jerk of my head falling forward wakes me up. I look around, slightly panicked, and discover Miko, who has also fallen asleep. Glancing at my phone tells me we've only been gone for some minutes.

The train wouldn't even take half an hour to get us home. But that's definitely enough time to rest our eyes a bit. A little later, I wake up again because I feel something bumping into me. I slowly open my eyes to look for the culprit and discover Miko leaning her head on my shoulder, sleeping like a rock. I would love to take a photo, but before I can try, I'm back in the land of dreams.

"Kayla, we're here," I sigh heavily, even before I'm fully conscious. With half-closed eyes, I stroll after Miko.

"So now, to my apartment or the guild?"

"Let's go to your place. It's closer."

"Aye, aye."

◆

"What kind of shampoo is that? It smells good."

"Huh... you're interested in something like that?"

"What do you mean? Body care? Pleasant smells? What do you think I am?"

Right now, Miko was wrapped up in my clothes, smelling like my shampoo and looking at least twice as attractive as usual, possibly due to her slightly wet hair.

When we arrived at my apartment, we showered one after the other, not together as she had previously suggested. Perhaps it was best after I wanted to close the chapter, to run after her love and recognition for now.

"You're thinking something stupid again, aren't you?"

She busted me.

"What makes you think that now?"

"I can tell by your smile."

"Is it possible you're paying much attention to my face?"

"Since I can't read minds, it's best to try and understand the person in front of me."

"Do you know what else works?"

"What?"

"Questions. You could just ask me what's on my mind."

"Hmm, I wouldn't want anyone to ask me what I'm thinking."

"Why?"

"My thoughts are for myself. I don't have to explain or account for them. No matter how much my thoughts contradict my actions, no one will or can judge me for it."

"If you keep watching me so closely, you'll be able to read my thoughts on my face one day."

"Is that bad?"

I shake my head. "No, not at all. Come on, let's test your ability."

"All right."

"What was I thinking earlier? What did my smile tell you?"

Miko rests her chin on top of her right hand and grimaces as she thinks deeply.

"Anything about me?"

"Correct. What exactly?"

"You haven't been ogling my body for a change."

"Hey! I never do that!"

A lie.

"Is it really that noticeable?"

"Can't you feel other people's eyes on you?"

"Not really," I shrug my shoulders.

"Many people checked you out on the way from the hospital to the station and from our station to your apartment."

"Oh, why?"

"I don't know. Maybe the hospital bracelet on your wrist - which you're still wearing, by the way - or your wobbly way of walking."

"My walk?" I pout unwillingly, and Miko giggles. Rare to see her like this.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay." I sigh and let myself fall onto my bed.

"So, what was I thinking about if it wasn't your body?"

"How cute I look with wet hair?"

"How?!" I jump up.

She just starts laughing.

"Lilith and Eliza have told me that a few times, I just guessed your head works the same way."

Wow, that lady is pretty full of herself. And rightly so. With slightly flushed cheeks, I lie down again.

"Do you have a hairdryer?"

"In the drawer next to the bathroom door."

"Thanks."

I hear her open it but not take anything out.

"There are only panties here."

"What?!"

I jump up again to find her looking at me with a big smug face and the hairdryer in hand.

"Nice to see you're so fit again."

"Stop teasing me."

"It's fun, though."

"You're a monster."

"I know."