"Am I the Monster"

Shion recalled the events that just took place as she felt herself retching. When she walked up onto the stage, escorted by Chizuru, whose arm served as a strong and steady crutch to help, Shion keep her balance; she could feel anxiety creeping into her chest. She was sure that Chizuru could feel her trembling, although it would not be noticeable for someone who wasn't touching Shion.

The two exchange a quick worried glance before Chizuru gave a quick salute to hitler and marched to the farside of the stage.

Shion's nerves were already shot when the two criminals were brought before the crowd. Upon removal of the hoods, Shion was face to face with people she could remember from her childhood. The Suzuki family were farmers who were responsible for the country's largest apple orchard.

They were kind people who gave to others whatever they could. For example, after each harvest they would gather the fruit that had fallen to the ground and sort out which ones were still edible, then pass them out to hungry children and families. These apples could not be sold at market due to their imperfections, so the farmers would give the apples out for free to those in need.

Shion specifically remembered the Suzukis giving her several meals right after her parents were killed, and giving her rides in their cart while she was still blind after her surgery. She was certain they were not guilty of selling anything to make their own profits as they were kind and giving people.

Her mind was processing ways to save them and get all three of them out of here alive but no matter what scenario, they were always killed by the sentinels standing guard almost instantly. Shion knew that there was no other choice but to kill them.

As the Fuhrer was still talking about what would happen and the crowd erupted in a synchronized chant about death, Mr. Suzuki mouthed the words "It's ok Shion."

Those words hit Shion like a knife to the chest as she drew her weapon and rapidly fired two lethal headshots. As the crowd erupted in cheering and clapping, Shion made eye contact with a Lowerclass child who had been standing as close to the stage as possible. When she saw those eyes, Shion was instantly taken back to the execution of her own parents.

She could feel the rage and sadness bubbling to the surface and wondered if she was the cause for the sinister, angry, and determined look in this little girl's eyes.

Shion maintained her composure long enough to walk off stage, then she fell to her knees and began retching, tears welling up in her eyes. She banged her fist against the wall making bits of concrete fly off.

"What have I become? Have I just become the monster that I have dedicated my whole life to destroying? Will I be part of that little girl's nightmare, like my parents' killer is to me? What have I done? I can't do this anymore.”

Hunched over, put her arm against the wall and literally dragged herself to the closest restroom. She turned her neurolink off as she struggled. Once inside a stall, she began to violently puke. It was even more aggressive than after she took her red capsules.

Drenched in sweat, pale, and shaking, Shion picked up her hand gun, pulled back the hammer, placed the muzzle in her mouth, and her finger on the trigger. She squeezed, and nothing. It was a misfire.

Shion draped her arms across the rim of the toilet and her sidearm clattered to the ground. She began vomiting again, then when it slowed she grabbed her hand gun and pulled the hammer down again, when “slam!” The bathroom door swung wide open.

Chizuru was breathless, cap off, hair askew. "Shion!" She bellowed between ragged gulps of air.

"Shion, I know you are here. Are you ok? I tried to beem you and nothing was going through." She sprinted over to the only stall door that was closed.

"Shion..?" she said as her voice cracked.

Shion replied weakly, "I'm ok. I'm here. I feel a little dizzy so I can't open the door for you right now."

Shion holstered her weapon before Chizuru came vaulting over the stall door. She landed with a quiet thud and immediately wrapped her arms around Shion, knocking her back and messing up her perfect bun.

"Shion, I didn't know if you were ok. I didn't know what you were going to do. You don't look like you are ok. I love you so much Shion. Please don't scare me like that again."

Chizuru cupped Shion's face and pressed her forehead to Shion's and whispered, "You idiot."

Shion's body felt out of her control. As big alligator tears rolled out of her eyes, she could feel her grip tightening around Chizuru's waist. It was as if her body was starving for human contact, and she herself hadn't even realized how long she hadn't been touched with care and kindness as her body acted on its own.

No. Shion had experienced hand to hand combat so many times to count, been hit, stabbed and shot. But it had been years since anyone expressed true concern about her. No one ever saw her cry, not once. For Shion it was less about love, and more about comfort but she decided she wasn't going to run away from this person anymore.

If Shion continued to think only of her mission and nothing else, she would truly become the monster that she sought so desperately to defeat. Someone heartless, cruel, and devoid of all attachments. Hellbent on getting revenge with no thought or care in the world about anything but her revenge. She refused to live the rest of her life thinking only of getting rid of the protocol that made it possible for immortal, corrupt rulers and systems to create slaves and kill at will. No more.

It was clear from her body's reaction and her attempt to end it all that it was no longer sustainable. Two sat there on the floor together for a few minutes in silence, and eventually the tears stopped. Shion felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Shion whispered with a voice hoarse from crying, "Thank you Chizuru."

Chizuru replied, "Don't thank me, I will always be there when you need me."

Shion let out a stifled laugh, "Not for that. Thank you for loving me".

The two stared into each other's eyes and Shion could feel her heart begin to race in an unfamiliar way. Then Shion could no longer deny herself the comfort that Chizuru provided her and despite having just vomited Shion pulled on Chizuru's collar and leaned in for their first kiss. Chizuru did not care about the taste and pulled her closer.