Heart/Discovery

It had never crossed mind that I was a part of something larger than myself. That the amount of suffering, the stares, the crawling sensation on my skin, it came from somewhere. 

“You keep saying Experience,” I pondered, “What is an Experience?” I asked. 

The idea that there is something beyond this body of mine, I wonder if that’s where that girl went. The one with liquid cascading down her face. The one who looked like me.

He got up from the pile of rubble that laid on the ground and wiped himself off. Then he smiled. “I'll show you.” 

An in an instant, he clasped his hands, and we were on a dark rocky surface, above us was a large cone shaped figure that shot out thick, red liquid. It oozed down the side of the terrain and steamed with smoke all around the area. Amazing. 

“Anyone with a mastery of light, can do this,” He pointed around, “Project an image. Its innate, light control but some are born with a high concentration, they stay above ground. Usually government workers. The ones who don’t, stay below ground and produce goods.”

Radiation emitted from the red liquid as it endlessly flowed down the side of its hill. It was obviously hot, but it felt so inviting.

“So, what does that have to do with your uh, Experiment? Why do they keep coming at us due to this?” Daiya probed. I wondered what had happened to the hole in her chest. 

“We knew that we could do this, the controlling of light but we didn’t know why memory had to be sacrificed for the sake of it. So, Project Experience was born. 7 children with record levels of low light were used as a control group. We left the neuron in without interference—oh! Where are the two of yours light pills, the Litholomine?” He asked us.

Daiya reached into her pocket and so did I, scrounging around to find my pill bottle. We both took ours' out at the same time. He snatched it from both of our hands and threw them towards the red liquid. We watched as they disintegrated and sunk into the heat.

“What was the purpose of that? I finally don’t need my glasses anymore and—why?” Daiya asked. 

She doesn’t use glasses? The man said she had no light like I did, yet she never wore them or stopped? 

“They’re tracking devices. They never helped with anything. Glasses, yes! A great invention by us scientists, indeed. If I must say, hm-hm!” He turned towards me, and it his expression turned dark again, "Have you never questioned why people stare? Why they never talk, say or do anything outside of work?”

“I-I don’t know. It’s, I, uh I thought it was because it was how I looked. They just stare."

His questioned churned something inside of me, my stomach started to knot up again. The hair on the back of my neck had begun to raise and shiver down my spine. All my life, no. People can’t change; they can’t. 

He turned around and looked towards the view. “Experience II—Path: (Physical) Characteristics: Acute sense of realization of the body she encompasses. Heightened awareness of how others look at her physical appearance. Leads to irrationality in the brain and causes hyper fixation on how others view her outward appearance.”

All his words started jumbling in my brain, causing me to hit the ground, clutching my head. It felt like 1000 needles were piercing one spot in my brain, hoping to open up a keyhole that had been locked away for centuries. The pain felt exactly like when my body became two. Why did I understand what he was saying? Why does my brain want me to know what he is saying?

"Look around," He held his hands out with a gaping smile across his face, “This is a volcano! Crazy, right?! They existed thousands of years ago, yep, yep! To me this is real, then again, what quantifies reality? Is it memory, sensory or something more…” he trailed off, “I don’t know. But I have to know. What lies beyond.”

My head wouldn’t stop spinning. I felt a thousand eyes watching my every move while all the moments I had ever flashed before me. Had I imagined it? The heat of their gaze? The way I pictured myself to be. 

I stood at the bottom of the massive hill, watching all of the red liquid flow and spurt up to spark the dusty sky. A volcano he called it, huh? Things like this exist or can change any second. Am I able to do the same? Be someone different?

“I knew who you were because I’ve known you your entire existence. And let me say, you never fail to interest me, hahaha! That’s for certain.” He paused, “The pills tracked behavior and blood flow. Certain things caused a stronger reaction, made the subjects act differently than the others.”

“We are not subjects. But what’s so important about this “Experience”? What could it possibly have to do with us?” Daiya remarked, hinting confusion in her voice. She rubbed her heart space again. 

“Everything. It’s suspected that—well, it’s speculation, yes! Humans might’ve been closer to each of the 7 Experiences than the humans of today. Look.” He brought his hands together again and we were back at the junkyard that We met Daiya.

He pointed at the people jumping, floating all around in the sky. The neon train whirred from above in its pink and green blur.

“They say nothing, don’t talk amongst each other, hardly interact. Think back to reactions that you’ve had with people. Were they truly staring? Or is that your perception.”

I thought and remembered every single thing, painful as it was, I couldn’t see. My vision went dark and what enveloped me were wide, beady eyes. Looking upon every move I made. 

I observed the people in the surrounding area again. “They have no idea what they’re doing. They can formulate necessary conversation, HEY!” He called out to a random person to stop. They sported a yellow suit and a black top hat. "My name is Dr.Vex, scientist, genius, some other stuff, former government—" with that comment, the person started to back up and fluster until Dr. Vex waved his hands frantically. 

“Oh-I'm sorry. A misunderstanding. I'm only here to ask a question. Do you know how I can get above ground?” Dr Vex inquired.

The person sat for a moment, seemingly searching for a response and then they said, “No. Anything else?”

“No, that’s all. Thank you. One more question. Do you have a name? I want to thank you for helping me.”

They cocked their head sideways and returned a look of confusion to Dr. Vex. “Can i help you with something?”

“Never-mind, it’s okay.” Dr. Vex muttered while his face started to crinkle, revealing a strange look. They floated out of sight and had a thought that I wouldn’t see them again. Even stronger was that he never looked my way even once. Not a single glance.

“This is the state of things. But you,” he looked around, “ask questions, give an opinion, can change. It’s the fascinating discovery of Experience. The government doesn’t like you because you’re an unknown. The lack of knowledge is the basis of ignorance is what he always said. You’re limitless. Don’t you see?!?!”

“Vex.” Daiya turned towards him, “Can I talk to her alone?”

“Alone, alone alone, hm? What if they come back? Are they tracking me due with my light projection, likely. Hm, okay! I’ll be back! I have to do some other things but—"

I had a question; one I couldn’t help but wonder. That man didn’t stare at me, not even a single glance. Am I imagining that? "You said I can change. I don’t know if I believe that. What makes you so sure?”

He pondered a bit, scratching his head before he finally spoke, “If the others did, so can you. An impossibility can always be proved wrong,” he smiled before clasping his hands and disappearing.

A strange man indeed. 

I can change, huh?

What could that mean?

***