"A Passion for Medicine"

Opening my eyes and adjusting to the darkness I reside lying flat on the cot. I could see the sunlight breaking through the window ever so slightly. Dawn was breaking. I guess I woke up a bit early. I got a good night's sleep, so I wasn’t tired anymore. All I could do was lay there and stare at the ceiling until someone came to get me, I guess. I didn’t want to go anywhere and be deemed an intruder, next thing you know my chances of getting help out of Astocia and back to earth would be thrown out the window. Just like that. So, I waited. After a while, Dardrwin entered the room, slowly opening the door so as to not make any noise and by this time the sun was fully awake, as was I. The sunlight peeking through the windows illuminated the room.

“Kiku, are you awake?” Dardrwin asks as he begins to walk over.

“Yeah. I’ve been up for a while now.” I state as I sit up, back propped up against the wall behind me.

“Sorry about that, I guess I slept in a bit, eh?” Dardrwin says sincerely.

“That’s okay, I woke up early cause I went to bed a bit earlier than I usually do. Plus, my sleep schedule has gotten messed up since I got here.” I express.

Dardrwin asks sincerely, "Ah, I see. How are you feeling today, Kiku? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay, I don't need anything right now. Thank you for asking" I state.

Dardrwin speaks, “No problem, and I'm glad you're feeling better. I've got to make my morning rounds in the bay. I’ll be back, okay?”

My mind processes a bit, before I have the urge to offer my help. It’s built into my nature that when someone helps you, you help them. I don’t want to be owing any favors down the line.

“uh, can I help you with anything?” I asked a bit hesitant as he turned to walk away to exit the room.

Dardrwin turns back around to look at me, with a kind manner, he speaks, “You're injured, so your part of my morning rounds as well. You shouldn’t be up and moving just yet. I really appreciate the gesture though, that’s very thoughtful of you, Kiku.”

I guess I am injured, but I feel much better today. Besides the soreness from the cuts, bruises, and sprain - I feel fine. These are just minor injuries that I can work through, they don’t limit me from moving around. I got a good night's rest, so the fatigue is pretty much gone. I wanted to show Dardrwin my appreciation and this was the only way I could think of, so I won’t let up about this.

Locking eyes with Dardrwin, I speak, “I feel fine, you know? And if there’s any way, I can show my appreciation it's this way. So, please let me help.”

Dardrwin expresses, “Hey, come on now, Kiku. I helped you because I wanted to. There’s no need for a quid pro quo-”

I cut Dardrwin off as he is speaking, “I see it differently. Besides, I’m just gonna get up anyway. I’ll be bored out of my mind if I stay here any longer.”

Dardrwin lets out a chuckle, “Haha, you're quite stubborn, Kiku. Well, if you're going to get up anyways, it’s probably best if you stay close to me. So, sure why not. You can help me.”

I slide the blanket off my legs, and stand up, Dardrwin is in front of me waiting. He turns around and begins walking to the door, I follow behind him. We exit the room entering the bay to the right, and this time most of the Elves were awake. Would they be scared of me, since I’m human and all? Walking into the bay I got a few stares, no one said anything though. Dardrwin directed me to conversate with a few of the patients and figure out if they needed anything, so I did. The first Elf I approached, I introduced myself. “My name is Kiku, I’m helping Dardrwin with his rounds. So please let me know if you need anything.” He told me that a cup of water would be nice, so I went over to Dardrwin to find out where I can get water. He told me it’s in the back room, and there is a sink back there. I brought the cup of water back to the Elf and he thanked me. The next Elf told me that she was in a bit of pain, her arm. Dardrwin looked a bit busy helping another patient, and I didn’t want to bother him for help. The Elf noticed I looked a bit hesitant, she says,

“Hey, do you know what you're doing? I’d like to speak to Dardrwin.”

I didn’t want Dardrwin to have to help me again after I practically just begged him to let me help him.

With reluctance I speak, “No, no. Don’t worry, I'll be back with what you need.”

“Alright..” She hesitantly agrees.

I noticed she bled through her bandage wrapped on her arm. So, I figured the best thing to do would be to rewrap it. I head back to the room- I seriously need a new name, “The room” sounds so ominous. I head back to storage, and grab bandages, and when looking I figured the ointment would help with pain and prevent infection, so I grab that, as well as gloves. I head back to the patient and put the gloves on. I ask if I may see her arm, she agrees. I unwrap the red bloody bandage and notice the diagonal wound on her upper forearm has reopened. A large gash most likely... by a blade? I tell her that her arm needs to be sutured. I head back to storage once again. I grab numbing cream, and cloth soaked in warm water with antibacterial soap. I head back to the Elf and gently clean the area with the cloth. I then gently apply the numbing cream. I instruct the Elf to keep her arm where it is, and I tell her I’ll be back in about half an hour. I head back and put the unneeded supplies back, taking off my gloves. I check on the rest of the Elves that Dardrwin assigned to me. The rest of them just needed food, water, something to read, draw… stuff like that. There was one who had a bad bruise, he showed up a day ago and the bruise formed overnight. I gave him ice in a thin cloth and instructed him to keep it there for about twenty minutes, and I'll be back to check on him. After seeing all the Elves, about forty minutes have passed. I head back to storage to glove up. I grab sterilized suturing instruments, ointment, and bandages. I head back to the Elf. I see Dardrwin is talking to the Elf, I wonder if she called him over because she didn’t trust me. I continue what I’m doing and place the instruments/materials on the small wood side table.

Dardrwin speaks in a confused tone, “Kiku. Aiveria tells me you're going to suture her wound?”

I speak in an assertive tone, “That's right. I didn’t want to bother you again, so I thought I'd go ahead.”

Dardrwin speaks, “I appreciate that. I do. But a lot of things can go wrong and-”

I cut him off, I spoke assertively again, “I know what I’m doing.”

Dardrwin looks a bit taken aback. Maybe that was a bit too defensive… 

He hesitantly speaks,

“Hm, Alright. Kiku, show me what you got.”

I was a bit nervous, but I stayed focused. I re-clean the wound and tested the area for numbness by pinching the skin with the tweezer-forceps. Aiveria tells me she feels nothing. That’s good. I didn’t want her in pain. I grab the needle holder and clamp the curved silver needle within them. I take the pre-cut suture, thread it through the hole at top of the needle and tie a secure knot. Aiveria is lying down, so I position myself on the floor, sitting on my knees so I am a bit more leveled with her arm. Dardrwin is watching me intently. I pinch the skin with the tweezer-forceps, where the needle will enter. With the needle holder that's holding the needle, I enter the skin at a ninety-degree angle pulling it across the diagonal wound and grabbing the exiting needle. I tie a knot with the suture. I continue this process throughout the full wound, tying about half an inch apart. The whole process took me about five minutes. I gently apply the ointment and wrap Aiveria’s arm with the bandages. I instruct her to try and not touch her arm and not to move it too much. I collect the instruments, and materials. Aiveria thanks me with sincerity. I head back to storage, and Dardrwin follows me. I put the material back to their designated area and place the instruments in the sink to be re-sterilized. I remove my gloves and wash my hands. Dardrwin stood there in silence. I finished up and Dardrwin then spoke in a mild tone,

“Are you okay to walk a bit more, Kiku?”

“Sure, but where are we going?” I ask with curiosity.

“You’ll see. You won’t regret it, promise.” He speaks with a hint of certainty.

I agreed. This time we left the clinic; through the back door we went. He took me on the path leading out of the village, but the opposite direction from which I came. We walked in silence for about five minutes before cutting off the main path and going onto a bit more desolate one. I ask with a bit of nervousness,

“Y-you're not going kill me, right?...”

He looks at me, “Haha, Kiku, you and this killing thing. I promise I won’t kill ya. I just want to show you something, alright?”  With a smile on his face, he speaks with a comforting tone.

We continue down the desolate path a bit further before I see something. It was like we entered a whole other world. Was something like this here the whole time? Did we enter through another barrier?? I was in awe. A glimmering bright blue circle shaped lake, lily pads set atop. A tiny bright green island sat in the middle of the lake, and in the middle of that island, a large tree shaded the island. Birds sang, frogs croaked, and the sun shone. The nature here was so loud, so mesmerizing. I continued to follow Dardrwin as he led me to a single bench centered in front of the lake. We both sat down. I continued to take in everything, I didn’t want to remove my eyes from this beautiful scene.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

I turned my head as Dardrwin spoke, his eyes locked forward. His eyes said everything. How much this place meant to him and how much beauty he found in it. But there was something else. I saw a hint of sadness.?.

“It really is. I wish I could stay here forever.” I spoke with a calm, admirative tone.

His eyes still locked forward, and his reminiscing tone, Dardrwin spoke, “My mentor used to take me here all the time, when he would talk to me about the world of medicine, and how there was no incurable illness.”

“Used to?.” I spoke with confusion.

Dardrwin spoke with a mild tone, “yeah.. he passed away a few months ago from an unidentified illness.”

I didn’t know what to say. What can you say?. I wanted to apologize, but pity won’t help.

“I-”

Before I could speak, Dardrwin turned his head. I turned mine as well, we locked eyes. I could see the intentness in his eyes,

“How’d you know how to suture?” Dardrwin spoke.

“I just took some medical related classes in school ya know?” I spoke hesitantly.

He spoke serious, “You paid attention though. And why would you take those classes if medicine didn’t interest you?”

It felt like I was being interrogated. What was this all about? Why was he so interested if I had a history with a passion for medicine?

“Well.. I uh, lost my passion for medicine a while ago.. I guess today working in the clinic brought back some of my passion. You helped me as well, I thought you were pretty cool to watch.” I spoke.

“Kiku, you-”

I cut Dardrwin off,

“And ya know.. It was really fun.” I softly smiled.

Dardrwin looked at me for a few seconds and smiled, sorta mesmerized? In awe? Dardrwin spoke with a soft smile,

“Ah. So she does smile.”

I got a bit flustered and put my head down.

 After today something reawakened in me; my passion for medicine. I haven’t felt like this in a long, long time.. Just as I was thinking,

Dardrwin spoke again, “Kiku, you know… you have that same look in your eyes..”

“Huh?.” I was confused by what he meant.

Dardrwin spoke with sincerity, “My mentor had that same full of life, passion in his eyes... What happened to cause you to lose interest back then?.. It must’ve been something bad, for someone with your type of passion.. That is of course if you don’t mind telling me.”

“What happened?” I thought. That triggered a flashback which I didn’t want to remember… But it was like I knew the answer to that so clearly.. I blocked anything medicine related out of my life, including classes. I wanted nothing to do with it.. I forgot it existed; I didn’t even go to see my doctor anymore. I remembered how much I loved the field of medicine; how much joy and interest it brought me.. and how.. one stupid thing discouraged me. But today, it was like my passion suddenly came back. With my head down, and a saddened tone, I spoke,

“I’m a shy person, and because of that I messed up a lot, even if I knew what I was doing. I’d mess up talking to fake patients, doing fake exams, filling out charts, tests, quizzes, everything. My grades were always bad. I was always getting told that being a doctor wasn’t for me, by teachers, classmates, and family. That I was too dumb or had no work ethic. I started to believe it was true. But I knew for certain that my love for medicine was true, and I worked hard even if no one noticed. So, I stayed diligent. It wasn’t until my teacher told me right to my face that I'll never be a doctor, that I lost my passion. I gave up.. pretty pathetic, right?”

Dardrwin stayed quiet for a bit before standing up in front of me with determined eyes, and finally speaking,

“It’s not pathetic, Kiku. When you have people in your face every day telling you that you can’t do something, it can be heavily discouraging. I have no idea what knowledge about medicine you have, but one thing is for certain, your suturing was some of the best that I've ever seen. You talk well to patients, take initiative, and make quick decisions. Those are the essential factors of being a doctor. Just from that, I can determine that your passion for medicine is greater than most, and that you know what you're doing when helping people. It’d be an honor if you could've worked in the clinic.”

I pull my head up, tears falling from my eyes. I look at Dardrwin with sincerity and awe. Did he really mean all that?. Could that all be true? Why was he saying all of this, trying to make me feel better? My mind is racing with questions. But what I did know was that that was the first time someone has ever recognized me as a passionate medicine enthusiast. My tears wouldn’t stop. I only wanted to do one thing right now. I stood up from the bench and calmly hugged Dardrwin. I think I startled him a bit, I don’t think he was expecting that. A few seconds passed before he hugged me back.

Still embraced, he spoke, “I meant every bit of that, Kiku.”

He said exactly what I needed to hear.

 Mid hug, I realized how embarrassing I was being and pulled back immediately. I quickly wiped my tears and turned around to walk away.

“O-oK! Let's get back, patients need us.” I hesitatingly say.

Dardrwin chuckles a bit. With a smile on his face he speaks,

“Lead the way, Kiku.”