The Things We Lost, Part 7

Several hours had passed. Caleb hadn't been aware of it, however, since he spent the whole time going over what Tia had told him in his head. She had left him behind a while ago, though he could still hear her footsteps skulking here and there, so she was at least making an effort to stay nearby. It was something he was grateful for, because to be honest, he didn't really want to have to speak to her anymore.

Saying that he had run away from Kyle and Ella was a harsh way of putting it, but the only thing that mattered was that she was right. It was unfair of him, but he had written them off as dead and stayed away specifically so he could avoid the pain of not being remembered by them. He had made some pretentious statements at the time to no one in particularly about growing up and being mature enough to strike out on his own, but that was the real reason. Everything Tia said was correct, and the fact that she didn't even say it out of self-satisfaction hurt him the most.

He remembered Aislinn, and that she had also experienced the same kind of “death”. Perhaps Tia's perspective came from their association; after all, she seemed particularly offended at the way he regarded Kyle and Ella as shadows of their former selves. He remembered his time traveling with Eric, another remainer who had been restarted. He hadn't met him since that journey they had gone on together, and to be honest, a part of him was reluctant to. Would his personality change completely, or would he be exactly the same, just with more memories? Caleb didn't know which one bothered him more.

Caleb understood everything Tia had told him during her tirade. Try as he might, he couldn't pretend that Kyle and Ella didn't exist anymore. They did exist, and while they didn't remember him, they were still the same Kyle and Ella that had already existed for centuries. It was unfair of him to act otherwise.

And yet, what did she want him to do? Try to casually start up a relationship with them again, as if there wasn't an invisible gulf between them? He wasn't so shameless as to even try. Did she just want him to meet them, just to prove that he existed? Then she was asking him to reopen old wounds just for the sake of propriety.

Before he could even come to an answer, Tia came up to him once again with a reticent expression on her face. “Are you done thinking? We should be getting back already.”

In surprise, Caleb bolted up and glanced at the sky and was surprised to see how dark it had already gotten. “I'm sorry,” he apologized sheepishly. “I didn't mean to make you do all the work on your own.”

“It's fine,” Tia said standoffishly. “To be honest, I got more done because of it. Come on, let's go back already.”

Caleb listlessly followed Tia back to the camp, his mind still mulling over the scolding Tia had handed him. His job in the burnt forest no longer felt important, and even Tia's anger towards him felt inconsequential. The only thing running through his mind was what he should do about Kyle and Ella.

Eventually, the two finally arrived at camp, where Hope and Aislinn were already there grilling some fish. Aislinn looked up with hopeful expectations, but her face fell quickly when she saw the two's expressions.

“Aislinn, let's go back to our camp,” Tia declared. “You shouldn't bother these two anymore.”

“Aw, come on. Jealous that Hope and I have been getting along so well?”

“It's not funny. And if you pull this a third time, I'll just up and leave you behind for real.”

“Fine, fine,” Aislinn sighed as she stood up. “Guess things didn't go so well.”

Tia and Aislinn walked back to their camp, with Aislinn giving Caleb an apologetic wave as she left. Barely acknowledging it, Caleb sat down by the fire, still mulling things over in his head. His silence was unnerving, especially to Hope, who was watching his expression change between irritable to anxious in a manner of seconds. It was fairly clear that he was troubled, so despite it being against her nature, she decided to broach the subject with him.

“Say... Did something happen this time?” she asked cautiously.

“Huh?” It took a second for Caleb to register what she just said. “No... No, nothing happened in particular.”

“Liar. This is the first time I've seen you so lost.”

“Is it? Huh.”

“So? Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Caleb hesitated for a second, but ultimately told her everything concerning his argument with Tia. Well, he called it an argument, but it was a fairly one-sided one, to be honest. After listening to the whole thing, Hope's face slowly changed from a confused expression to an understanding one.

“I see. So then, all you have to do is meet with this Kyle and Ella, right?”

“It's not as simple as all that.”

“It isn't?” A quizzical expression appeared on Hope's face again. “I don't see why that is.”

Caleb furrowed his brow in frustration. “Listen, you may not have much experience with human relationships, but even you should understand this much. Meeting with someone you cared about that no longer remembers you is an incredibly painful thing.”

“Is that all?” Hope scoffed. “I thought you were a little more thick-skinned than that.”

“Well, sorry. There are things that even I'm sensitive about, you know.”

“If I'm honest, though, I think it's hard to disagree with her. If anything, I think she's right.”

“You do?”

“If you remember, I've had the misfortune of spending the last few days shackled with Aislinn as a partner. While she's a nice enough person, she's quite the talker, and I can't go a few minutes without her trying to start up another conversation.”

“It wasn't that bad, was it?”

“You weren't there, so you don't get to say that. In any case, I realized that even if she wasn't the real Aislinn, she was still her own person. There wasn't much reason to treat her differently, in my opinion.”

“But you never knew the real Aislinn. Your perspective is a little different.”

“Even so, that's no reason to ignore her. Imagine if she got destroyed again and rebuilt in the future. If I tried to ignore her then, don't you think that'd be unfair of me?”

“Maybe.”

“It could happen to me too, you know. If it did, would you distance yourself from me as well?”

Caleb couldn't answer. Or rather, he couldn't bring himself to say the obvious answer. He wanted to say that he wouldn't, but the truth was, he had no idea what he'd do. He didn't have the strength to stay by Kyle and Ella's side. How could he say he could do it for Hope?

Hope seemed to realize that the question was bothering him quite a bit, so she tried to change the subject. “In any case, we've basically covered this whole area. Computer sent out a message that the surveying job will be over soon. Get some rest so that we can finish things off tomorrow, alright?”

With that, Hope headed back to her tent, supposedly to get some rest. Despite the advice, however, Caleb found himself still watching the campfire, lost in thought once again. He felt sheepish about how easily he was thrown off by a simple scolding. In a way, it was proof positive that she had hit the nail on the head. He wouldn't have felt this bad about the whole thing if it wasn't the truth.

After some more time mulling things over pointlessly in his head, Caleb doused the campfire and walked back into his tent to sleep. He still didn't have an answer that could satisfy him or Tia, but he had to keep Hope's words in mind. The job was almost over, so he needed to get things together if he didn't want to get in the way.