Lead Pipe Larry

I sat in the void.  My senses were coming back to me.  I wasn't sure how long I had sat there, but I knew it had been longer than any other time I had been here before.

I was bewildered at what I had seen but also mildly happy that my theory of another world had been proven correct.

[My Friend, I have spent so much time talking to you.  But this is the first time you have sent me a message back.  And while I might find problems in my own world, they pale in comparison to the horror you must feel.  What purpose is there to your life?]

"I need your help, Friend"  I spoke this aloud to the darkness.

"If it's possible, please send me back in time.  Send me back to the moment that I came here."

I had a lot of errors to fix.  This was the only answer I could think of.  I touched the giant orb and put my thoughts and desires into the orb.

The darkness lifted, and I found myself in a familiar house.

"Yes, I'm back."

To the exact moment I left!  The terror of my choice of words filled me as I realized what I had done.

"Fuck me!"

The man that had been chasing me was running up the stairs.  The door to the room smashed in, and the man in the goggles and jetpack suit slowly walked towards me.

[My Friend, when I wished for Deus Ex Machina, this isn't what I had envisioned.  What a cruel fate to put me back in the exact same predicament I had just escaped.]

The man in the jetpack was about to grab me.  But then there was a giant clink sound, and he fell down.  Behind the jetpack man was another man.

[Just how many crazies were following me around today.]

This man looked like he was from the underside of the ring, though.  He had a frizzled beard and greasy hair.  His brown coat was torn and covered with dirt stains.  He was thin and looked sickly.  And I wasn't sure if this man was my savior or not.

"How do you do, Lord Kepler?"

"You know my name."

"Sure do.  I've seen pictures of you in the news.  Something about getting your ass kicked in the park."

"Oh, no, you got it all wrong.  That event is heavily exaggerated."

I then noticed the lead pipe in the man's hand.  It was thick and rusty.  And there was a splotch of blood from hitting the man in the jetpack.

"I saw you were in trouble and thought to myself, 'This man needs some help.'"

"Thanks; I owe you one.  But I'm interested to see who this man is."

I knelt down and tugged off the goggle mask.  I immediately recognized the man.  It was High Lord Hooke.  But why would he be after me?

Hooked gave a low moan as he started to come to from his injury.  Before I could ask him any questions, the man hit Hooke in the head with the lead pipe again.

"Why in the world did you do that?"

"He looked like he might be dangerous.  Just wanted to make sure."

I checked on Hooke's status.  Dead.

"He's dead now.  I won't be able to get much out of him now."

Before I could gather my thoughts, the man hit Hooke with the lead pipe again.

"I said he was dead already.  There was no need for that."

"My papa always said you need to be really sure a fellow was dead.  That's why he taught me to hit them a couple extra time just to be sure."

High Lord Hooke.  He had insisted on doing something about the Athenites.  That was until I insisted I deal with it instead.

I searched his body and found two things of note.  One was a key pass.  It looked like it might open one of his labs.  The other thing I found was a silver necklace.  On the necklace was a small statue of a woman.

Athena!

High Lord Hooke was the insider.  So, that means he was just pretending to care about going after the Athenites.  He was looking for anybody that might stand in his way.  And I had volunteered myself up.

"Yes, that makes sense.  But I need to check out his lab.  Maybe I can find out more about the Athenites.  I can prevent a huge tragedy."

"What's your name, sir?"

"My name's Larry.  But people around these parts know me as Lead Pipe Larry."  He casually hit Hooke a couple more times as he said that.

"Larry, I think we're going to be good friends.  I could use someone with your unique talents in the future."

"Really?"

"Absolutely.  I think there's some other people that might need to get hit by that lead pipe.  How does that sound?"

"I like hitting people with this pipe."  The man looked more excited than I had first anticipated.

"Great.  But first thing's first.  I'm quite interested in this jetpack."

"No.  I won't let you take the jetpack."

"Huh, why not?"

"Lord Kepler, I'm very familiar with how your father died."

I almost gasped with shock.  Thinking about my father....  No, I don't want to think about that.

"I swear I'll use it responsibly.  I only need it to fly up a set of stairs."

"No."

"But...."

The man pointed his lead pipe at me, "If I need to say no one more time, I'll smack you real good with this pipe.  You're father was a good man, but his obsession with flying jetpacks around Kepler's Ring led to his early death."

No, no, no...  Must not think about it.  

I glanced at the jetpack.  If I was quick enough, I could put the jetpack on and fly away.  Then I could fly anywhere I wanted.  No more mechanical horses.  No more crowded streets.  I could fly above it all.  The metal pipe banging on the wall interrupted me from my vivid dreams.

"You're right.  I wouldn't dare take the jetpack."

After that, the two of us walked out of the house.  I had a keycard and a silver necklace.  And I was on my way to uncover the secrets of the Athenites once and for all.

"So, who do I get to hit with a pipe next?"

"I'm not sure, but I have a plan.  I think we're going to be good business partners."

Lead Pipe Larry smiled as he hit his pipe against the ground.

I smiled too.  I had a sinister plan coming together in my brain.