Conversation Piece

Stella was alone.

Stella was alone.

There was no one to talk to.

No one to tell her what to do.

No instructions. No purpose.

She paced around the house, knocking the booths down with her tail, rolling onto the bed, turning the faucet of her shower on just to watch the water fall. She was being wasteful and she knew it. An entire house. For her. Two rooms. Bathroom. Living room and kitchen. A garden. Frilly, pastel furniture.

Since this was the moon and day night cycles were almost certainly irregular, perhaps taking a walk would do, even though it was past working hours. The plan white button-down shirt and khaki skirt did not seem very fashionable. They said they'd provide money. People bought things like clothes with money. When would they give that? No. A job would be more reliable. Fuyukawashigurebob had said 'tomorrow', but what even was tomorrow without a day and night cycle? What happened to everyone's circadian rhythm? Were there any animals on the moon?

Stella jumped once she realized she'd ducked her head into the waterfall. It was scalding. Her model was waterproof. She could feel pain, kind of. It wasn't good. It meant something bad was happening. Stella turned off the shower. There were towels on a glass compartment next to this. She used them to dry her hair. Were there any combs? No? She couldn't find any. She ended up with two braids and nothing to hold them together.

Next stop: kitchen. It was empty aside from a bizarre-looking oven and fridge. Good. She could not eat. Nor did she want to.

Next next stop: the bedroom she hadn't rolled on. Everything was so pink and blue and yellow and green. This one had flowers on top of the mattress. The lamp on the nighttable was shaped like a mushroom. Whoever decorated this place really enjoyed botany. Stella rolled on top of the bed, on top of the flowers, until she fell off. 

Then she went for a walk. Most of the houses looked the exact same, alternating between pink and blue and yellow and green. Hers was pink. There was a movie like this her ex-owner enjoyed a lot. She'd never been able to share the sentiment. It was a very sad movie.

An egg floated into the neighborhood. Not too far away, a plane took off. How? How did they allow that in a residential area? It was almost the size of the egg, able to fit four people at most, but... oh, right, one sixth of Earth's gravity. Stella jumped. She fell on her face. It hurt.

A stranger came rushing to her. From where? By the time she'd rolled to the side and activated her emergency nuclear department, said stranger had crouched next to her. "Gosh, are you all right?"

Stella sat up. The stranger had cat ears. It made no sense. Why would anyone go out of their way to design androids with cat features? She'd once asked her ex-owner and he'd just laughed in response. "I'm fine," she said, staring at the stranger's ears.

"Really? Let me help you up."

Stella obeyed. The stranger was taller than her. Most adult humans were. "Hello," she said. "Could you please state your intentions so I can assess your level of hostility?"

The scientifically questionable cat person watched her, up and down, front and center, then replied, "Extremely hostile."

"...sarcasm?"

"Yup."

She wouldn't be able to escape such a malady, would she? The stranger had cropped her hair so short she probably couldn't braid it, wearing a black jacket made of artificial leather, matching her short skirt and boots. Not very pastel of her. "Do you need a waitress?" Stella asked.

"...huh? I'm sorry?"

"I'm looking for a job."

"Ohh!" The scientifically questionable cat person placed her hands on her hips. She looked at the sky for some reason. Her brown eyes also had slitted pupils. "Hmm... the closest restaurant is... let me check... four kilometers away. Not sure if they need waitresses there. Their site doesn't say anything."

How could she tell that just from looking at the sky? "Are you connected to the network?" Stella asked.

"Yup. What, you aren't?"

Oh, this poor thing. Why was everyone so dysfunctional? But based on Fuyukawashigurebob's earlier reaction, to try and tackle the problem head-on could lead to irreconciliable differences. Stella had to approach this tactfully. She shook her head. Another egg drove by.

"Why not?" Asked the scientifically questionable cat person whose mind could be taken over by a hostile virus at any moment. "Let me set you up. What's your username?"

"No."

"No what?"

"No network. I'm... retro nostalgia?"

"Ohh!"

This seemed to have a positive effect. The android social worker Fuyukawashigurebob had freaked out earlier had been onto something. Best to stay on track or else Stella could lose a golden opportunity. "So the closest restaurant is four kilometers away," she said. "That's fine. Could I please have an address?"

"Girl, you could just use the GPS if you were connected to the network."

"So no." Stella sighed. This insistence to connect to a system that could open people's doors, track locations and give distances in exact amounts just... wouldn't do. If anything, the more they told her to do it, the less she wanted to. Still, she had someone to talk to again, if only for now. Useless, but appreciated. "What's your name?"

"Rebecca," replied the scientifically questionable cat person who could get mind controlled at any moment. "How about you?"

"Stella."

"Ohh, cute name. You're new here, huh? Are you looking around, or are you planning to move in, or...?"

"I have a house."

"New neighbor! Where!" Stella pointed at her house. It wasn't hard since she'd taken maybe thirty steps away from it at most. Rebecca's smile fell the instant she saw it. "...oh, no. Girl, you gotta ask them to change it."

"No."

"Yes, yes you do. It's so noisy. You see the gate? There's a bus stop right after it."

"Doesn't bother me."

Rebecca's smile was Fuyukawashigurebobesque. "That's what you say now. Trust me, you really should change it while you can."

"Come with me," Stella told her.

"To...? Your house?"

"Yes."

"Hmm..." Rebecca glanced at it, then at her. "How about you come over to mine? My spouse is REALLY into catgirls. Oh, sorry, does the term bother you?"

Stella shook her head, biting back a grin...

...but then Rebecca did so anyway. "Let's go, then."

Unfortunately, her happiness did not last, for the house they headed to was the one with the rude peek-a-boo from before. It was kind of silly to insist Stella move so much when Rebecca lived right next to her, which surely meant that she, too, could hear a lot of the presumed noise, but Stella digressed. Rebecca's house was blue outside; inside it was dark green on one half, mustard on the other. No frills. No complementary colors. Pure madness.

"Oh, fuck," said who Stella strongly suspected to be the rude peek-a-boo. He scrambled off the window, but was too slow and stupid, so he stumbled. He also had cat ears. This was getting too silly.

"Calm down, Kou," Rebecca told him as she ushered Stella in. As in, pushing her back. It was okay, though. Stella detected no nuclear department in either of them—or many android parts for that matter—so they'd be easy to pacify in case they got hostile. If only she could attack them to test their loyalty...

Kou the scientifically questionable cat spouse curled into a ball next to the window and the fallen booth he'd stumbled on. "You didn't see," he said.

"What didn't I see? Sorry, Stella, he gets like that sometimes. He'll act normal later. Go on, sit wherever you like. Would you like some tea? Coffee?"

Stella sat on the coffee table. "Neither," she replied. So newer models could eat. Rebecca glanced at her for a moment, then at the sky, then went to the living room adjacent kitchen.

From there, Rebecca sked, "So? What prompted you to move here?"

"No," Kou said, which was very strange because no one was talking to him and this was a non-sequitur.

Stella glanced at him, but he did and said nothing after that. To Rebecca, she responded, "Because... of a program?"

"Ohh. Which?"

"Criminal rehabilitation?" Stella said this while watching Kou, who returned her gaze now. He also had slitted pupils. The bags under his eyes implied a greatly impaired circadian rhythm.

(Why had Stella lied? Just 'because'? It was illogical. She could've just said the truth.)

Rebecca took some time to respond. "I see. Well, I think you'll do just fine here. Whatever you did in the past is in the past. What's important is that you're trying to be better now."

Stella mumbled the phrase under her breath. She'd tell it verbatim to Fuyukawashigurebob 'tomorrow'. Because Rebecca had to use the coffee table to place the drinks and cookies on, Stella sat on the floor. The couches were made of fake leather and they scared her.

"You didn't see," Kou said. "She moved in with her husband. He left her already."

Rebecca almost dropped the tray right as she placed it. "I'm sorry?"

"Newlyweds. I saw. He left. Forever?"

"He comes back tomorrow," Stella replied.

Rebecca grimaced. "Good?"

"Yes. Good. It was my fault that he left."

"...oh, dear."

Kou uncurled, walked, then curled back on the couch. He took a cookie. His limbs—and he—were noodly.

"Of course now you like her," Rebecca told him. She shook her head, sitting next to him, whereupon she also took a cookie. "You sure you don't want anything?"

"Quite sure."

Kou took what should've been Stella's tea, which made Rebecca scowl at him, and which he clearly noticed, but chose to ignore. "Get divorced," he told Stella.

"Kou! Fuck's sake!"

Stella's tail swished. Neither of theirs did. Strange. Maybe? Common sense dictated that she should correct them, but she'd started on the wrong foot by pretending to be an ex-criminal. Might as well go all the way. Besides, she wouldn't mind marrying Fuyukawashigurebob. She'd ask him tomorrow. "No. I don't want to. We're very happy together."

"But y—"

Rebecca pinched Kou's cheek. "Ohh, really? I'm glad. So you two are newlywed?"

"Y-yes."

"Who chose the catgirl neighborhood? You or him?"

"The criminal rehabilitation program."

"Oh." Single H. Rebecca looked away uneasily.

"Don't worry, I don't commit criminal acts anymore."

"That's—good?"

"She's one of the real ones," Kou observed.

Rebecca seemed to know what this meant. Both of them tilted their head at her at exactly the same time, which was the most cat-like thing they'd done by far. She blinked. He glanced at her. She gasped. He smiled. "OHH! A REAL CATGIRL ROBOT!"

Stella was offended and she didn't even know why.