Chapter 6: Shikata ga nai

“B-Bar?...”

Hana stuttered as she spoke. Out of all the possibilities she’d imagined for her neighbor, a bar had never crossed her mind.

“I didn’t pick out the name, by the way. So feel free to hate it or point out its low effort wordplay,” said Lunara.

The frankness of her words continued Hana’s spiral out of alignment. They met eyes again.

“The Council sends one of these to colonies all over. There’s a few thousand out there. Always the same name. Slightly different design, but same menu. Almost like those things they used to have on Earth-fast food! But for alcohol.”

Hana was not listening. She was fighting with all her wit to regain herself. As Lunara spoke, more goods were unloaded. This was real. All Hana could do was laugh.

“Shikata ga nai….” was all she could muster.

Lunara looked ar her.

“Shit’s gone awry? That what you said?”

Hana burst into laughter. Her mood eased very slightly.

“No, but that works too. Shikata ga na. Think of it as a way to say ‘it is what it is’.”

“Got it. So I’m the shit gone awry, or the shikata that ga nai’d…”

“Something like that. I guess I just wasn’t expecting… this…”

Hana accidentally pointed towards the cargo being unloaded as she spoke. Lunara smirked to herself.

“Well for what it’s worth I had no idea who I would be beside. A tea room. That’s tough. I’ll try to not steal your customers.”

Hana chuckled.

“Well, I’d need customers-patrons for you to steal first…”

Lunara eyed her. Hana accepted her fate and relinquished control of the moment. Nothing could be done but move forward.

“Well, can I help you set up your space? I love organizing.”

“You want to help me?” Lunara asked in disbelief.

“Aren’t you afraid of me as competition?”

Hana shook her head.

“I don’t believe in competition. A tea room isn’t an enterprise that I run to achieve, what is that old word? Profit! I am here to serve whoever needs me, and I won’t spend time tearing down or neglecting others for the sake of more patrons.”

Lunara turned to her for the first time and lowered her arms.

“You’re an odd one. I’ll give you that. This will be fun,” said Lunara.

She extended her hand to Hana in greeting. Success had been achieved for Hana. They shook hands and began to unload together. No one came to Shinrin-Yoku during the period Hana was away.

Boxes were unpacked. Crates were placed in storage cells. Cold power cells were installed to chill German lagers and pilsners. Simple minimalist containers of amber whiskeys and bourbons were placed on shelves. Hana helped sort the liquors from lowest to highest alcohol proof. Lights were installed into the small round-edged steel bar-top. And soon the simple build-out was complete.

Once the work was complete, Hans found herself sitting in a booth wiping sweat from her forehead. Suddenly a cold beverage was in her hand. She looked up to see Lunara handing her a pint of beer.

“No no no, I couldn’t possibly be your first patron!”

“Who gives a shikata? It’s just a beer. Salud.”

Lunara held out her metal pint in toast.

“Kanpai,” replied Hana as they clinked beverages.

Golden liquid sent cold whisks of wheat to Hana’s nose. It smelled very nice. Not wanting to waste of be offensive, and also being parched and sweaty, she took a sip.

“I haven’t had beer in years,” she commented.

“Well, I haven’t had tea in over a decade. Bring some over at some point.” said Lunara.

“I‘ll take you up on that,” replied Hana.

“In fact, if you’ve got anything cold, I’m happy to store some here and serve it as a rep for your shop.”

The idea was kind and well-intentioned, but Hana wasn’t interested.

“I can’t do that. It’s really more about the experience of coming to Shinrin-Yoku and participating in the entire ceremony. Thank you though.”

“Offer’s there if you ever change your mind,” said Lunara as she sipped her beer.

On the Rocks opened that night and was full of patrons within a few hours. Each worker was slotted a stipend of two drinks a week as part of their rations, and could purchase more at the expense of having credits withheld from their week’s labor value.

Hana held her composure well enough at Shinrin-Yoku as she watched people continuously enter next door but never her door. Once it was time to close, she locked the door and broke down in embarrassment and frustration. It had been weeks since she’d had a good cry, and the emotions of everything she’d experienced in the last several months bubbled up and converted to a brief moment of weeping.

Out of respect for the tatami mats, Hana made her way to the ladder and up the stairs so that she could cry on the floor or in her bed. For the first time in weeks, doubt returned, and this time she could not easily fight it away. Doubt’s presence was not just about the bar. Tears were never just about one thing.

“You will never be happy. You will never amount to anything. All you care about are those leaves!” the voice in her head echoed.

It was a memory from a time in her life she fought daily to forget.

Waves of feelings washed like an evening tide and before long Hana had passed out. There she slept for some time, until a disruption next door woke her.