Deep Blue Flames

I hadn't seen Adem in weeks and it was hurting me so terribly.

Love at first sight is one thing. But – is it possible to have deep feelings for someone before they even awake? I spent the best part of two years doing everything I could to deny that those feelings of mine were real.

I remember it well: It was Thursday the 5th of December 2115 – exactly two weeks before my sixteenth birthday. We were completing our final career tests. I had four clear options by then: Nurse, midwife, childcare and – fashion designer, of all things.

Caring for others was always embedded in me, and that came from my parents Jonas and Ulrika, and my own personality. Genevieve, my older and dark-haired sister, was the same. But I was different: a fire burned from deep within me.

Maybe we were mollycoddled too much, to make up for living in the tough southern Zone 1 town of Rosario. I think it was that place that lit my fire – or at least dumped a ton of fuel on it.

At birth, I became a bit of a celebrity because of my natural blue hair: an unforeseen one-in-a-trillion genetic mutation. I was all over global media, and became the poster girl for a certain popular beverage. The attention I got was occasionally pleasant, but often overpowering.

Then, I started school. Many Rosarians were traditionalists, so to them this blue-haired girl was as xenomorphic as they came. I was definitely treated differently. It just gets into your mind. Bit by bit, the nail is hammered in: you were just “the freaky blue-haired girl.” No one wanted to know me. I didn’t have any real friends beyond my sister. No one ever called me Belinda – it was always Blue.

The final straw came when Bruce, an older boy, made up a story about me prematurely growing blue body hair. He started telling others that I had shown him it. I’d had enough – in front of his crew, I marched up to him and broke his nose. Although the school investigated, everyone covered for him. They all started calling me “Blue Murder.” I was barely seven.

I withdrew into myself, clinging to my family, and played with my nursing dolls non-stop, living in a dreamland filled with make-believe friends. Often, I'd act out stories based on the modern ‘Second Coming.’ I’d always read books about it in school, and they filled me with so much hope and love. My pathway out of this hell.

Beyond that, I was so lonely inside. And, even deeper down, my anger just festered.

Months later, my parents got transferred to work at Rodriguez Hospital back in Zone Two, eighty miles southwest of New City. Moving there was life-changing for me.

On the first day at my new school, a surprise welcoming party was held for me. To my shock, all three hundred children – and their teachers – had dyed their hair every shade imaginable. The bald Headmaster wore a curly aquamarine wig. I got hugged and talked to like I mattered.

I finally belonged somewhere. For me, that felt like the one-in-a-trillion event in my life.

I learned to trust, and started embracing my nickname 'Blue'. As I got older, I started to fit in even more. But the past did leave scars. That fire in me was lit for good: I was always on the lookout for injustice. Hating cruelty and meanness with a fiery passion, I’d always make sure others were included and supported. I was always elected to school councils, although I never actually put myself forward!

Miracle number two happened, almost nine incredibly happy years later.

Back to that Thursday before my birthday: I had an extra paper that none of my classmates got. I questioned my teacher, and he smiled beguilingly. I then noticed it was from Kazikawa Hospital – suddenly, I was energised. I’ll give this everything I have!

The test was based on a very famous figure and their importance to the world. I answered on what faith, purpose and mission meant to me personally. What good is life if you can’t contribute towards those that need help the most? That’s what love was – to me. I didn’t realise that was only part of the deal.

I had never been in love. I had mild crushes on a few boys in my high school: they were nice, but just didn’t have that ‘spark’. It’s hard to explain without sounding mean. They felt like friends who couldn’t relate to that deeper level of me – maybe the part of me that always felt out of place, no matter how popular I was. What difference could I really make to their lives? I liked helping, feeling useful. Being needed. Too much? I don’t know. Yes, I had counselling and therapy when I got to New City, like everyone else there. But I guess that certain things were an unalterable part of who I was – things I’ve grown to accept. Maybe idealists are simply born that way.

It was soon my Sweet Sixteenth. I remember excitedly heading to school that Thursday – my friends had booked a party at the local karaoke bar afterwards for the whole class to attend. I just felt this deep gratitude. Belonging.

As soon as I appeared in class, I noticed my mother, father, and sister in the corner. Something very strange was going on! My homeroom teacher soon made an announcement: “Belinda Blue: congratulations on two things. One, you have reached the tender age of sixteen, you are a fine young woman, and we all love you! And two.” He read from a letter, “I am pleased to declare that Kazikawa Hospital have pleasure in offering Belinda a two-year internship commencing in our biolab facility from January 6th next year, on which successful completion will lead to a suitable position in Nursing for someone of such outstanding talent.” Well done, young lady!”

The class roared. My parents beamed. It was the start of an amazing day that I’ll never forget.

There was a lot of media interest in me – not for the first time in my life. My parents insisted on three interviews only. I spent the first one talking about my desire for nursing in general terms, my family and my wonderful friends. The second one was difficult – they gave me odd questions like “Do you have a saviour complex?” and probed into what my role at the hospital would be. Two and two was put together by much of the press. The third interview was cancelled by my father.

Saying goodbye to family and dear friends – that was so hard! I’d be on my own in New City. Yes, I had visited before, and knew it was an impressive place. But I was barely sixteen and it was a city of over 40 million people. Thankfully, I holocalled Bobbi McSorley who was high up in ‘the facility’. She then insisted I got double my allocation of time off in the first six months. That would help, and I was always going to get home as much as I could.

I arrived in New City on the 6th of January. Bobbi met me at the hospital – immediately taking me shopping at the mall instead! What a first day!

Bobbi was very direct with me – which suited me fine. She asked me about my past, and how I felt about some of the more difficult children and adults I had encountered in Rosario.

“Everyone always has a choice,” was my reply.

“What’s your choice?” 

“It’s more than a choice. It’s a need. I want to…make a difference. To challenge myself by doing something that matters, something that’s important to me. I’ll fight for what I believe in, and who I care about – no matter what the consequences are.” She beamed at me. “My sort of girl!” I don’t think I could have lasted at Kazikawa Hospital without Bobbi.

The very next day, I was taken by security guards into a large dimly-lit room filled with computer equipment and giant glass cylinders, with all sorts of strange organic matter inside. In the centre of the room was a kind of upright giant clam tilted backwards, with frosted glass on the front. I felt awe and curiosity rise in me.

Dr Frank Fisher was approaching me: I recognised him from news bulletins. He took my hand and shook it warmly.

“So, this is the special young lady Bobbi's told me so much about! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Belinda. We need you to begin general nursing training to start with – but with special focus on a project we have ongoing.”

I nodded. This was all incredible.

“Above all else, this is why you were chosen.”

He gestured towards the clam-thing.

“Look through the glass.”

I did. I was transfixed.

The most powerful sensation struck me. I felt and knew something instantly – as deeply as I could ever know anything.

“Meet Adem.”