Without You

It was the first time Stella found herself in somebody's arms.

Shigure was warm.

And safe.

And Stella was 'happy'.

Why, exactly?

When she hugged him, he returned the gesture. Why, exactly? Because he was the sort of person to lend his coat to a robot in the middle of a snowfall.

"Thank... God..." Isla panted. He must've broken into a sprint once he'd gotten a gist of the (very silly) commotion. "I was about to call the... the..."

"Firefighters?" Proposed Tsukiko. Irina laughed for some—never mind. It was meant to be a joke. Firefighters rescuing a catgirl on the moon... or apparently it wasn't meant to be in jest given how Tsukiko blushed, trying, in vain, to hide this by scratching her face. Both of them needed urgent psychological care.

Fifteen people surrounded Stella and Shigure.

"Is she all right now?"

"Are you the newlywed couple that just moved in?"

"Poor thing. I wonder what frightened her so..."

"Books," Stella said.

Two of the concerned citizens exchanged glances. Shigure cleared his throat. "Anyway, thank you all for your concern. Nice to meet you. I hope our first impression wasn't too bad."

"Not at all!" Said Irina. "She's funny."

Another concerned citizen snapped, "Phobias are not funny."

"I'm sorry," Tsukiko mumbled. "I'll do better next time. I didn't know people were afraid of books..."

"They're not," Shigure said. "I'll uh. We'll give a proper apology later. Once she calms down a bit. Right, Stella?"

Stella glanced at Isla from the corners of her eyes, who looked as though he'd run a marathon and not half a block. Insane, given how little effort it should've taken in theory. Perhaps the floating... colonies... in Jupiter...? Had even less gravity, but that conclusion lead to another can of worms. (Idiom.) "Right, hubby, dearest." This is where she should've hopped off. Really. She should've. But she didn't want to. "I'm calm."

"You're calm."

"Hmph."

"Would you guys like to come in for some tea?" Asked Tsukiko. "Ah. Never mind."

"My house is available!" Said the concerned citizen who'd validated Stella's embarrassing, irrational fear. "Anyone? Irina?"

"Yup!" Irina clapped once. "I can take some snacks."

"I can order donuts," said somebody else.

Isla looked back at Stella. He nudged his head. Should she? But...

"Do you want to go?" Shigure asked her.

Did she?

As thirteen concerned citizens left, Tsukiko stayed beside them. It made sense, given this was her lawn. It was a pretty lawn, too. Stella had been careful not to place the boxes on top of the flower bushes surrounding the two-story, sun-yellow house. "I'm very sorry," Tsukiko said. "Really. Really."

Stella refused to get off Shigure's arms, but she unclung herself enough to look at Tsukiko's face. "Don't worry. You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault books exist."

"Yeah," Isla chimed in. "You were kind enough to help with the pies already." He seemed to have recovered now. Maybe. It was hard to tell. He walked over to the stack of ingredients—stepping only on the stone path leading to the door, so it looked like he was skipping—then patted one of the boxes. "I'm Stella's... uh... Stella and her wife's provisional social worker, by the way. I mean husband. So if anything goes wrong, I'm here to help."

Of course he followed along with the newlywed charade.

"Stella," Shigure said, "my arms are getting tired."

"Pretend they're not."

"No? Get off?"

Isla snorted. "You guys should go to Mrs. Aoyama's tea party. Remember the plan."

True. It'd be as good as time as any to recruit the concerned citizens into their cause.

"Carry me there," Stella told Shigure.

"Do you think I'm a power lifter or something?"

"You could be."

"Well, I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Too big."

"Them? Or you?"

"That's it," he said. "Get off."

Shigure was a strange being. "Fine." Stella hopped off. He let out a breath, relieved, so Stella supposed he really wasn't a 'power lifter' after all. Just a lifter. Such was life. She'd wrinkled the shirt of his (expensive) (probably rented with government money) suit. While he smoothed this down, Stella told Isla, "I will proceed with the mission. But you should also come."

Isla blinked. "Me? Why?"

"You're part of the mission. Shigure, this is Isla Gray. Isla Gray, this is Shigure. You're both social workers or neither of you are. I don't understand that part. Tsuki... oh."

Tsukiko was gone, not to Mrs. Aoyama's house—to her own. She'd shut the door close. Shigure and Isla followed Stella gaze. "She seemed shy," Isla said.

Did she? She'd seemed pretty alright when Stella had first talked to her. Seemed like yet another worrisome, recurring pattern.

Shigure cleared his throat. "Mr. Gray—"

"Call me Isla."

"I'm very sorry about the, uh. Misunderstanding. From the way Stella phrased it—"

"I know, I know. It's all in the past. See? At least you're here again. And guess who approved it?"

"Yes, but—"

"No buts! Stella has a very important mission to complete. Go drink tea with the catpeople. I'll join once I send the report. Aight?"

Shigure waited a bit, perhaps so he wouldn't get interrupted again. "All right."

"Aight," Stella said, just to be included. She waved. Isla returned the gesture. "Let's go."

They went. Shigure and Stella, to the catgirl tea party. Isla, to Stella's home. Why he couldn't finish the report somewhere else was beyond her, but too many people were too confusing these days for her to find a logical thread anyway. "That was embarrassing," Shigure said. "I thought you actually had some bum leeching off you, not the supervisor of all people."

"Isla Gray? Supervisor? So you knew him already..."

"Ish. Not his name. Anyway, on top of you being confusing and me being a dumbass, when he called earlier, the way he worded things made it seem like..." Shigure trailed off.

"Like?"

"...did you do in on purpose?"

"Do what?"

The you're-a-carpet-pissing-dog stare was back.

"Do what?" Stella asked. She was as fond of that judgmental leer as she wasn't. "If you mean sniffing, it wasn't on purpose. My face was just close to your neck, and I found the scent to be highly pleasant."

Just like that, the stare was gone. "Okay."

"Did you mean something else?"

Looking away, Shigure covered the part of his neck Stella had sniffed. "Something else, yeah. Anyway... now that I took a better look at you... did you comb your hair?"

"...I showered."

"Why are you barefoot?"

"I'm wearing underwear."

"...seriously..." He ran a hand down his face. "Let's get you presentable before going to the catgirl party."

He also called it 'catgirl party'. Something told Stella that this would be poorly-received in front of the concerned citizens. 

What had he meant by 'did you do it on purpose'?

Do what?

Cause a misunderstanding that'd lead to Shigure coming back? Maybe by accident.

Could Isla have done this, and if so, could it possibly have been on purpose? No, right? It didn't align with his behavioral patterns so far. She could ask, just in case, once Shigure wasn't around anymore—because he'd leave again. So would Isla, and Rebecca, and Tsukiko, and everyone else.

Stella was 'happy', but that emotion hurt too much. Shigure and Stella walked home. Once they got her 'presentable', they'd head to a tea party with neighbors who didn't seem to know what it was like to fear a stranger. Stella would convince them to say yes to her shop. She'd open the shop. Hopefully, they'd like it. It'd be good. She'd be happy. But every day, she'd fear the moment it'd all end—because it would.

If war and hunger had come to an end, how could happiness be any different? Were a few fleeting glimpses of something worth the fear of losing it? What could she, a killing machine, possibly know?

Isla tapped tapped tapped while surrounded by cushions on Stella's couch. Based on the disaster zone her kitchen had turned into, it seemed as though Isla had been hard at work. He glanced at them before turning back to his phone, though he asked, "Why aren't you guys at the tea party?"

"Soon," Shigure said, guiding Stella to her room by gently pushing her back. It was and wasn't like when Rebecca had done it. It made her think of the hug. Made her want it again.