The Long Way Back

The weight of the backpack was incredible. I thought I was used to carrying all that weight, but since all of our expeditions had been fruitless so far, we had never carried this much before. Since we had gone so deep into the Zone, the way back was even longer than it had been on past journeys. It was also impossible to plan your path exactly. You could account for mountains, swamps and other natural formations, but the strange irregularities of the Zone could manifest at seemingly random locations and times. Even on this journey back we saw a mutant almost frozen in time and slight gravitational anomalies, though nothing as extreme as we had seen in the laboratory.

Estelle stumbled and barely kept herself on her feet. Her backpack was a little lighter than mine, but she struggled even more than me. By then we were both well adjusted to the strain of long journeys and heavy burdens but there were simply limits that the body set.

“We could unload some stuff here and come back for it later,” I said.

“No, we can’t,” she said in a low voice and gave me a furious look.

“Fine, let’s just take a minute for rest. My shoulders are killing me,” I replied. In truth I was glad she wanted to continue. It was difficult work and I did feel a little bad for her and also myself, but it was more important to do as much as possible before it was too late. Leaving loot here would mean losing it forever. It would stolen but even if it wasn’t it would be next to impossible to find this exact spot again in the vastness of the Zone. It honestly felt a little mean, that I was dangling this opportunity of easing her burden in front of her while she was trying so hard to go on without a complain. Still, what else was I to do? Even if it was too great a burden to carry, she would not say anything until she was too hurt to continue. Her stubborn ways could end up leading to our demise. This way I could at the very least start the conversation to make it easier for her to complain.

Estelle almost dropped to the ground. She unstrapped her backpack while lying on the ground and started rubbing her shoulders. I joined her, but kept my gun at hand. We weren’t even half way back, but we had already been ambushed by a mutant beast.

“It’s so heavy,” she said after we had sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

“Sure is,” I said and gave her a smile. It was a strange feeling to take her usual role in conversations, but I knew of nothing else I could’ve done.

“Pass me your backpack,” she said. She already seemed to be in a somewhat better mood. I gave her an inquisitive look. “Just do it.” It was not easy to lift the backpack in the sitting position, but I managed to hand it over.

“Here you go.”

“Nngh.” She struggled with it just trying to get it to her side. She then tried lifting her own backpack and mine in turn. “Oh wow, how are you still alive? This is so much heavier.” She leaned over and gave my bicep a squeeze.

“For you my dear sister I’d carry anything. In fact, I could take some things off your shoulders …”

“If I wasn’t carrying just a single item from the lab anyway,” she said, cutting me off.

“You are still carrying a bunch of gear,” I reminded her.

“Oh please. I’m still the older one. Let me keep at least a little of my pride. Who would want a useless older sister?” Her expression was a strange mix of emotions. I made to respond, but stopped. I had a feeling, that saying a wrong thing here might make her very upset. Some times it was better to say nothing at all, but this wasn’t such a time.

“Well, I love you. I wouldn’t be able to survive without you because you are strong in ways that I can’t even conceive,” I said. It was the kind of words we exchanged in a half joking way all the time. Especially ever since we were forced into the Zone. But I was utterly serious and meant every word of it. I stared into her eyes as I spoke to let her know I was serious.

“I see,” she replied. Despite the shortness it did seem as if the words had made her happy, though her eyes were looking a little moist. She looked away.

I looked up through the trees at the bright blue sky. We were trapped in the hellhole with our lives on the line, but for some reason in moments like these a strange sense of peace settled on my heart. It was a kind of nostalgic feeling, just sitting on the ground with family, nothing more than a simple camping trip, resting on our childhood adventure before returning to our parents who would have food ready for us to enjoy together. Would we ever experience something like that ever again. Even if we managed to escape this hell, the only one waiting outside was Priscilla. The thought of her condition soured my reverie. Was she even still alive? There was no way for us to contact her, we could only take MiSiTech at their word that they continued her care. Breaking our contract would only ensure her death, but nothing ensured her life.

Estelle’s arm around my shoulders brought me back. She rested her head on me. “I’m hungry,” she said and her stomach grumbled in agreement.

“In that case let’s move on and find something. Hopefully edible this time,” I said and started getting back to my feet. My legs were burning and my shoulders were stiff. It was hard to look forward to the prospect of walking for another couple of hours that day. Estelle kept sitting. “Come on get up.”

“But I don’t wanna,” she said in a funny voice. Then she reached out her hand to me and I pulled her up as she made grandma noises. “I’m getting too old for this,” she said as she finally got to her feet.

“Just wait until you hoist this bad boy again,” I said as I picked up her backpack and handed it to her. She merely groaned at the sight of it, but took it without a word and began strapping it on. It was a lot less amusing for me when I had to pick up my own backpack. It was best to just grit my teeth and do whatever needed doing. In the end, we could only count on ourselves. As long as we were together the world was not a place of despair. Not entirely anyway.