Turning Wine into Water

When I returned to the apartment, I expected some comment from the Lord on my failure to convert Sarah. However, curiously, no such event occurred. Rather, when I asked about it…

“Who are you speaking of?”

So… he forgot…? Does God have dementia?! Perhaps this is some form of mercy on me for my failure…?

Pushing aside certain heretical thoughts, I then spent the rest of the day utilising the television to aimlessly search the internet for any potential opportunities to spread faith.

The world’s tritium supply is gradually running dry…? I don’t think nuclear fusion is going to help me make people believers. Huh, engineers fully digitally modelled the brain of a cat. But in the video here the simulated cat just seems to be lying around, completely still… are they sure they turned on the brain? Hm, it looks like Contradiction Interactive released Hearts of Steel XLVIII. The DLC prices on that might make people lose faith if anything… oh! Here we go!

Several coastal cities were electing vehemently ‘anti-modernist’ members to their local legislatures. That growing level of dissatisfaction would certainly make for an excellent proselyting opportunity. I resolved to visit when given the opportunity. A change in location seemed like an excellent method to address my up-to-then middling results. In any case, I slept considerably better that night… though that could also perhaps be attributed to the fact that I wasn’t blackout drunk.

The next morning, I decided to go to a local library I had discovered while browsing the internet the previous day. While modern libraries acted primarily as meeting areas, and the presence of actual physical books was limited, I thought it might be an opportunity. Also, even though my spine should have been several times stronger than that of a regular human’s, using that massive touchscreen television screen to browse the web was hurting my back. I need to go somewhere with machines that won’t destroy my posture any further….

With that resolution made, and after a long morning of boredly waiting to ensure I didn’t run into Sarah when I left, I stepped outside.

Grghh….

And then, at the sound of my stomach rumbling, I remembered that I hadn’t actually eaten any solid food in about three days. I promptly wheeled around to re-enter my apartment and find something to eat. Given my physique, I didn’t need to eat anywhere near as often as typical humans, nor did I feel hunger particularly strongly. Irritatingly often, that led to situations like this. Of course….

“Elysia!”

Like a spider suddenly manifesting in a doorway to stop you from leaving your room and dispose of your mouldy cheese collection, Sarah successfully interrupted my tactical retreat. Putting on a coy grin, the spider lady then asked me a question I very much did not want to hear.

“You sound hungry, would you like to have lunch with Connor and I?”

Shouldn’t you have work…? This is your second consecutive weekday off! Despite my internal complaints about her suspiciously convenient work schedule, I relented and joined her; it would have been impolite to decline. I definitely didn’t accept because I thought that whatever she would be having would be better than the Common Dividend meals that I had stocked up in my apartment… probably. Regardless, I headed next door with Sarah and was met with quite a shocking sight.

Now missing its iron curtain, the apartment seemed to have undergone a peaceful revolution. In stark contrast to previously, where the room had all the walkability of a major 21st century Merykan city, one could traverse from one wall to its counterpart without a corresponding gymnastics routine. Aside from a pile of various gaming devices near Connor’s bed, the floor was finally clear.

Directing my attention to the dining table, I saw Connor, now fully recovered, looking at me with a slightly suspicious expression. Connor was a man with messy dark brown hair and light hazel eyes. As if to match the neatness of his hair, he had a slightly unkempt beard, though not so disorderly as to give a poor impression of his grooming practices. Additionally, he had a surprisingly sturdy frame considering his main occupation of the past decade had been staying indoors, though I suppose that didn’t entirely preclude indoor exercise.

“Who was this, Sarah?”

Sarah lifted her arms as if she was at an art exhibition unveiling a new masterpiece, only to immediately ruin that impression by adding jazz hands while pointing at me.

“Ta-da! This is Elysia, my friend from next door!”

Connor and my reactions were both that of slightly confused silence, paired with a blank stare at Sarah. She quickly awkwardly coughed to break up that atmosphere, before elaborating.

“She helped me out yesterday, so I invited her to have lunch with us.”

Connor’s expression softened in response to that, while I felt a brief pang of guilt. Irrespective of my thoughts on the matter, however, Sarah ushered me into a seat with ruthless efficiency. She would do well as a shepherd…. She then began to set to work in the kitchen, only to be stopped by Connor, who had just gotten up.

“Let me help.”

Sarah gave him a smile reminiscent of the contents of a certain bear’s favourite pot of honey, and then, for the next thirty minutes, they sweet talked each other while cooking. Personally, I felt an indescribable sensation of irritation watching them flirting with each other while only giving minimal attention to my existence. If you’re going to invite me here, you could at least talk to me rather than getting lost up in your own little diabetic world! Nonetheless, I will begrudgingly admit that I was somewhat pleased to see that they seemed to be getting along.

Finally seeming to remember that I was there, Sarah turned her attention to me.

“Oh Elysia, did you hear that Connor is going back to university?”

No, how would I hear that?! You’ve been yammering incoherently to each other for the past half hour! Plus, you’re finally talking to me, only to make the topic Connor! I take back what I said about love earlier; it isn’t messy, it’s just annoying! Suppressing my frustrated thoughts, I responded with a terse query.

“For what course?”

Seemingly done with winning brownie points from Sarah, Connor was the one who responded to that.

“I want to do engineering. The abstraction in the maths component of physics was probably my main issue with my old course.”

From what I had learned, both engineering and physics at the level he was doing should be trivial, albeit admittedly more difficult than the same courses would have been before automation became widespread. Nonetheless, that could be chalked up to the fundamental limitations of humans; it was indeed true that the prerequisite talent level for completing a formal tertiary education was only growing with time. I gave him a nod of feigned understanding. Connor gave a bitter grin before adding on another piece of information.

“When I told my old course mates, they laughed and said that I was just dropping down to a poor man’s physics.”

While I refrained from any of the excessively low-hanging fruit of engineer jokes, Sarah and Connor brought out the food. It was a relatively simple stew of synthetic beef and various vegetables. Nonetheless, it smelled excellent and, after taking a bite, I could confirm that its taste matched the smell. While I dug into the meal, Connor and Sarah continued to flirt. As they did so, my eyes were drawn back to the pile near Connor’s bed. Curiosity finally getting the better of me, I interrupted them to ask Connor about it.

“Is that virtual reality gear?”

Connor looked a little surprised that I was asking. Just because I’ve been dead silent until now doesn’t mean that I would never have anything to say…. Even so, he responded.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about throwing some of it out, since I won’t have as much time to play video games when I re-enrol.”

Indeed, throwing it out would be the best option. Buying older used equipment was largely a waste for buyers these days outside of pure collection value considering the longer shipping times and only marginal cost advantage when compared to buying newer, more feature-rich models. However, my curiosity on another point remained.

“What games do you usually play on it?”

Connor had a nostalgic look in his eyes when he replied.

“I’m a big fan of strategy games. I’ve been playing some older games these days: mainly Cid Mare’s Civilisation XXXVI.”

Honestly, I was fairly curious about what a virtual reality game was like. As such, I tentatively asked….

“If you’re going to throw it away, could I please give it a try first?”

Connor must have managed to detect the slight note of pleading in my normally relatively monotone voice, as he gave a bemused grin.

“Of course, I don’t plan on using them any time soon. I won’t be able to help you much though, since I have to head out to the University of Strait after this lunch. My apologies.”

As I was about to indicate that that was fine, Sarah jumped in.

“I can play with you, Elysia! It’ll be super fun!”

My hair was then subjected to a horrific tousling in the name of what I can only assume Sarah thought were pats. Do you think that the Prophet tasked with granting mankind salvation is someone you can simply mess up the carefully brushed hair of with impunity?! Pushing thoughts of granting divine punishment away and successfully wrestling Sarah off my now-ruined hair, I enjoyed the remainder of lunch while engaging in some small talk with the couple.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was taking advantage of people who I had already hurt… but that voice was getting quieter and quieter.