Material/Worth

I thought I had gotten used to the stares. The looks. The way others viewed my body always confirmed what I thought about myself and hadn't ever begun to question it in that respect. But being stuck inside of this white room on end with no exit in sight, made me rethink exactly who I was. Or who I had always believed myself to be.

I'd lost count of how many days we'd been stuck inside this room. 

Those scientists stood above us; behind that window with their notes, and data, and beady eyes that never left. Especially the one who resembled the man with the violet eyes. All he did was stare. Day in, day out. 

We were nothing more than lab rats. Something to study, to advance their knowledge of what we were in the past. How humans used to be. I used to think we were unique. In reality, we were only a small group of millions of experiments that happened to breed results. We're alive, after all. I felt a certain calmness about it, in addition to a quelling desire to truly understand myself beyond what others have told me. 

I don't want to believe Dr. Vex thought that way. Because that would mean he would be like them. The same ones who locked those people in those cages' downstairs, the ones who made people work on end for no gain. And removed them when they became an issue. Is that what he thought of me? Something to document? What could be in the notebook, I don’t know. I'm too scared to find out. But I can’t shake this burning that’s rising within. 

What does it even mean to be human when no one even knows what the word means?

However, given enough time, it seems that one can reach conclusions otherwise thought impossible. Or so I think. There are some things I have been thinking about. 

"Do you think he's coming back?" I asked Daiya. 

It's been months since we've been stuck in this room. There is no door. Only the windows that perched above.

"Who, Dr. Vex?" she responded, "It's doubtful. The way it's all set up, I wouldn't be surprised if he did all of this. Fucking idiot. I thought because he helpe-" she caught herself, "It doesn't matter. It's so obvious. He gives you a notebook and disappears. Doesn't think to let me know. Or even worse, decides to give it to you,"

"A notebook?" the little boy asked, "And who's Dr. Vex? Is he special? What was that word you told me, Daiya? Tell me again, again!"

"It's friend, it means a bond between two people," she responded, "And I'm getting real tired of you reading my mind and listening to our inner conversation. It's annoying."

"Sorry, I can't help it. I hear everyone's thoughts at the same time. That's why they chained me up, and what's a notebook? Tell me, tell me!"

"God, you're annoying, the both of you. I wish I could just stay in my corner and say nothing! But you would just read my thoughts,"

"Hehe," the boy laughed, "Your thoughts are no fun to read, so I don't read them! They're sad. But Reia's are interesting! She’s always thinking!"

Experience II, Experience III, Experience IIII, Dr. Vex mentioned an Experience VI. 

"What are you trying to say?" Daiya asked within my mind. 

For the first time since we've been here, I looked up and all the scientists were gone. Vanished. I found that odd considering that they've never left our sight. Standing, and watching, recording, probing and observing our every movement.

The man with the black stripes on his face appeared right in front of us, waving a set of keys between his fingers. Upon closer look, he wore a pinstriped dark blue suit with a chain hanging from the pocket. His skin was white with black stripes running down his hands, that sported black fingernails. He walked over to the empty space in front of us, and a door materialized. The steel door swung open and unleashed a swarm of scientists in that filled the room. 

Experience III wrestled and fought in the chains until Daiya circled in front of him and patted his hand. He calmed down, but it still didn't reassure me any. Why appear now?

"I'd like to think I'm a reasonable man," the man with black stripes and metal on his ears spoke, "...but don't make another thought,"

Daiya stayed in front of Experience III, keeping her hands together and protecting the boy. "Why?" she asked, "It's not like you'll let us go,"

"You don't know that. Like I said, I am reasonable. Why? Because I'll show you why," he walked over towards me, gently putting his hand across my face before I slapped it away. It was reflex and something I didn't think about doing.

"Oh, so you fight back now. Regal told me you were interesting, that you could split your body into a duplicate version of yourself. Who knew a project of 700 years would lead us so close to understanding the idea of being a human. Go on," he looked at me, "Show me,"

Regal. That name. His violet eyes still haunted me even in his absence.

I stood at arm's length from him, and I could feel the ripple of energy that swirled between us. It made my head spin and legs buckle all at the same time. He must've been 100 times stronger than Dr. Vex. "I'm reasonable, if you show me, I can guarantee that you'll be able to leave this room."

"Don't listen to him!" the boy's voice went off in my head, "He's not nice...."

"You," the man pointed at the boy, "Stop talking," then he turned towards me once again, "Go on, I'm waiting. Don't think we don't know you've been talking. We're scientists after all! It's our job to observe. Nolan depends on it after all. You show me one time and I'll tell you anything you want to know," he sat down in front of us and opened his arms wide. "I'm not going to hurt you; the Director told me not to."

Daiya got up immediately and lunged at the man. The group of scientists went to step in front of him, but he held his hand up and let her punch him in the face. She hit him over and over, at a speed even I couldn't follow, and he never hit her back. Down her face, the same liquid ran across her cheeks that I saw from my body double. I could feel the pain that emitted from her aura, it was as if I felt years of destruction in a single moment. The scientists stood back behind him while she continued the onslaught, and I stood by Experience III wondering what made her react so strongly. Why did it hurt so bad to watch? I rubbed the space over my heart.

"It was you! All those fucking years! It was you!" she screamed in his face as she continued to hit him. "It was you! You did this to me!" she lifted up her pant legs and revealed the deep scars that I saw on Experience III as well. "I'm going to kill you."

She did a backflip away from him and put her fingers together but before she could do that, he grabbed her hands and held her up in air. "I'm surprised you didn't recognize me sooner, Experience IIII. Vex tells me you go by Daiya these days. I'm still Franz, after all. A little appearance change made you forget. Don't tell me you're becoming like one of those shills that walk the streets? I'd kill them all if I could."

There was something about hearing the screams of Experience III, the tears that rolled down Daiya's face. The way he spoke about those people in the street. I should hate them. I should, but all I feel is emptiness for them. All they did was stare at me for my entire life. Isolating me from the outside world. What if that was all they could do? 

After seeing those prisoners' downstairs and that man, he was killed. For nothing. For not wanting to do what they wanted him to do. Their screams and distorted faces for help. I still didn't understand my body, nor did I understand why people wanted to control it so much. Or why I couldn't stand it. But if there is such a thing that exists, a bond between two people, only one person fits that mold.I could at least do one thing to stop those tears on her face. I put my fingers together.

"Split: Body Image,"

***