Angels Never Cry

For the next week following that incident, I visited the library every day. To be completely frank, Mark was an invaluable connection. Even if I couldn’t convert him, his family position alone was more than worth going out of my way for. He’d implied that he wanted to meet me again, so, given the difficulty of me approaching the Bellon family, the only possibilities were that he was either planning on meeting me again here, that he was planning on tracking me down, or that it was just a throwaway line. Given that I couldn’t count on the second possibility and discarding the third as meaningless either way, I could only continue to visit. Just because I only want to meet him for his money, doesn’t mean I’m a gold digger!

The civil service exam period had just concluded yesterday, so I was a bit more hopeful than usual today. Heading up to the game room, I glanced around and gave a short sigh. Mark wasn’t present. I suppose I should stay for a while again today, then. I ended up spending the next few hours playing chess against elderly people. I just wish that they would stop trying to set me up with their grandchildren…. I don’t care how lovely this old lady tells me her granddaughter is, I really wish she would just make a move already. Nonetheless, while it wasn’t particularly engaging, it was enough to pass the time.

However, I hadn’t made any other expressions since that day. I supposed that was only natural, given what I was. My outburst was simply a fluke. After all, angels never cry.

===

A young girl, appearing ten years of age, was sitting in the incomprehensible void of Everywhere. The girl’s snow-white hair and innocent sapphire eyes complemented her white robe perfectly. It had been a week since the conclusion of the Second Great Flood. However, this girl was not concerned with that. Moreover, she didn’t even know of the occurrence of the flood in the first place. No, this girl had one much more pressing concern: she was bored.

The girl had never seen another being in her week-long life. Nonetheless, she was still aware of the fact that it was an abnormal situation she was in. Indeed, if one had chained her up in a cave and let her stare at shadows dancing on the wall for her entire life, she would have found that abnormal too. Such was the nature of the being she was.

Another week passed, and the girl took steps for the first time in her life. Without a model to learn from, she had taught herself to walk simply on the basis that it “seemed right”.

After a month, the girl began to speak. She called into the void. She vented the frustration in her heart. She called in the hopes that… well, she didn’t quite know why she was doing it.

“Is anyone there?!”

She understood the words she was saying, yet at the same time she did not. Almost paradoxically, this girl who wished for interaction with others more than anyone else was not aware of the very concept of ‘anyone else’. She simply felt that it was the only way to find… well, she wouldn’t quite know.

By the time a year had passed, the girl had stopped learning new things. She simply lay around, occasionally waving her arms and yelling. Alone in the void, she could only hope for some kind of end to her situation. Unfortunately, this was a world without end.

After two years, the girl’s situation finally changed. A young man appeared before her. With a suave suit combined with his glimmering azure eyes and stunning white hair, he was the striking image of the handsome hero one might see in a storybook. Of course, that didn’t mean much to the girl. Instantly, she was able to comprehend that he was a being similar to her. On some level, she was quite excited. This was the change she had so long sought. Perhaps he was trapped here too? Suddenly, she frowned in realisation. What if being trapped here with someone else was worse than being here alone? Her heart raced at the possibilities. Nervousness overtaking her, she asked the man a question.

“Excuse me, who are you?”

The man raised an eyebrow. His thoughts were racing.

‘We modelled this one after a particularly impressive human, yet I didn’t expect her to be able to speak already. Perhaps this one could indeed be a successful vessel…?’

At last, he replied to the girl with a certain gentleness to his voice.

“I am Michael. I have come here to see if you are worthy of becoming a prophet.”

The girl frowned. What was a prophet? How could she become one? Her nervousness only increased. The man, seeing this, gave her a kind smile.

“Do not worry, I simply need you to participate in lessons. We shall test you after that.”

The girl tilted her head. She was aware of the concept of lessons, but she wasn’t quite sure what they looked like in practice. Michael paused and seemingly conjured something out of nowhere.

“Before anything else, take this.”

Michael gave the object to the girl. Staring at it, the word “cage” came to mind. Inside was a small, white, winged animal. Michael smiled as he explained.

“This is a dove called Aqua. I request you take care of him until the test concludes.”

Over the coming weeks, the man spent time with her, conjuring up whiteboards, pictures, videos and other outdated teaching utensils as he explained a series of stories to her. Stories ranged from that of a man and a woman who ate from a forbidden tree to that of a man with incredible strength tied only to his hair. The central factor to all of these stories was a transcendent being: the Lord. Michael explained that the girl had to worship this Lord with all of her being. In this time, she came to adore Aqua. In Everywhere, there was nowhere for him to run to, so she let him run free from his cage. Every day, she would tell Aqua about the stories. Being a dove, of course, Aqua wasn’t particularly talkative, but, nonetheless, the girl enjoyed his and Michael’s company.

For the first time in her life, she could at last spend her endless days with others. In addition, the girl couldn’t help but be unbelievably excited at all she was seeing and hearing. The pictures of this ‘Earth’ were fascinating, and these stories stirred her imagination incredibly. She wanted to go to this ‘Earth’ with Aqua as soon as she could. However, Michael kept dryly telling her that she wasn’t ready. As a matter of fact, the girl had recently learned that this Michael was an ‘archangel’. Despite not yet having much context as to what that meant, she did understand that it meant he was quite close to ‘the Lord’ he spoke so reverently of. Indeed, she found that incredibly impressive.

Finally, she was given the test Michael had told her of. It was quite simple: in order to prove her loyalty to the Lord, she had to slay Aqua. That was a concept she was, of course, unfamiliar with. Michael handed her a sharp blade and explained that she simply needed to plunge it into Aqua. In the end, she did as instructed, and Aqua simply vanished. Confused, and a little panicked, the girl turned to Michael.

“Where is Aqua?”

Michael gave her his signature kind smile.

“He is gone.”

“When can I see him again?”

“You cannot.”

Indeed, after two years of living in this world without end, the girl, for the first time, truly understood the concept of ‘end’. And, at the same time, for the first time, she understood the concept of ‘loss’. So, at last, for the first time, the girl wept. Michael, however, was displeased at that.

“You should not cry.”

The girl, not fully understanding what exactly she was doing, could only cry more. Michael continued.

“Angels never cry. To cry is to show the weakness of a mortal. Such things are impossible before the lord.”

The girl, finally getting her tears somewhat under control, turned to Michael.

“Am I an angel?”

Michael paused for a moment in consideration.

“You are something similar.”

Sighing slightly, and kneeling down to her level, Michael continued.

“Have courage, young one. When you overcome this, you may truly become a servant of the Lord.”

And then, without much warning, Michael simply vanished. The girl ‘lost’ once more. The next weeks were filled with tears. She cried into the void and begged for Michael or Aqua to return. Now that she knew for certain that there was more to her world than the void, simply waiting was torturous.

‘He says that I need to have courage… so if I stop crying, maybe he will come back?’

Completely eliminating the root emotions themselves was, of course, impossible. Erasing her hatred was impossible. Nonetheless, over the coming months, she suppressed her tears. She erased her sorrowful expression. As such, when Michael finally returned to her once more, she realised that she had taken the right approach.

Indeed, angels never cry.