Chapter 11: Pain

Ferral groaned, trying to pick up his body from the ground. Everett helped, lifting him by his underarms. “What happened?” She asked. “Just….Just the side effect of a test I’m running. I’m fine.” “You didn’t look fine, Ferral. What even is this test?” “Nothing, I’m fine. But, I am gonna need ibuprofen.” Everett reluctantly nodded, and the two walked to the nearest pharmacy. As they walked through the city, Ferral remembered something important. “OH SHOOT!” He jumped, wincing as his muscles were still sore. “What?!” Everett asked, startled by Ferral’s outburst. “I’ve been so caught up in my work that I completely forgot to get medicines for Mr. Bose!” “Who’s Mr. Bose?” “A friend of mine,” He took out his journal and pen, turned to the very last page, and started rapidly writing. He tore off the page and handed it to Everett, “Can you also get these items for me too?” He reached into his other back pocket and gave her $30. “Well sure, but why can’t come with me?” “I would, but none of these places will let me. So, you go in and get that all the stuff while I wait outside.” She nodded and the two continued walking.

Once the two found a pharmacy, Everett walked in while Ferral sat on the curb in front of the store. As he waited, Ferral took out his phone to see himself in the camera. Being in his retained transformed state seemed to calm the muscle contractions and strain the cure took on his body. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Maybe if he had just stayed like this, he wouldn’t have felt as bad. But it would mean a constant flow of the cure would keep being injected into his body, and he didn’t know what effects that would have. Ferral wanted the injections to be gradual, but if this was the only way he wouldn’t feel heavy strain, he might stay in this form. He picked up his head, gazing at his surroundings, some of the people who walked by would give him dirty looks. He sighed, then noticed something to his right. It was the city’s cemetery. It had been quite a while since Ferral had gone there to see Ezekial and Belle’s graves. Three years ago to be exact. He had stayed away because the bad memories of that day would come back to him, and he tried hard to push those into the back of his mind. However, Ferral decided to get up and go see them, it had been so long. 

Once he got to the cemetery, Ferral walked around until he found their graves. He knelt and placed his hands on top of the tops of the tombstones, smiling slightly as he remembered the good times they had. It was so short, only a few months, but to Ferral it felt like a lifetime. He wondered what life would be like if they were still alive. All the possibilities, maybe they could’ve made him feel better about himself. Maybe, he wouldn’t have subjugated himself to his pain from the cure. As he lost himself in the what-ifs, the memories of reality set in. Seeing Belle crushed, Ezekial being killed by his mother’s rampaging clone. But it wasn’t only their deaths, he remembered. It was Leonidas’s. Doctor Stephen Brown. His mother. He remembered all the bodies he saw on that island, all this death because he was never strong enough. They all died because of him. A quick sharp pain shot through his head, causing him to grip the tombstones harder, slightly cracking the tops. Ferral let go and got up, standing over the graves while he clenched his fists. All of this pain was HIS fault.

Everett walked out of the pharmacy with a plastic bag in her right hand and looked around confused about where Ferral had gone. It wasn’t long before he saw him fairly standing in the cemetery. She jogged over to him, Ferral couldn’t hear her coming though, he was still lost in thought. As she got closer, Everett stopped jogging and walked to his right side. She placed her left hand on his shoulder, snapping Ferral out of his thoughts. “Oh, Everett!” He jumped, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you coming.” Looking down at the two graves Ferral stood over. “Do you know these two?” She asked. “Yeah. They were friends of mine that were killed during that free-for-all all against most of the experiments five years ago.” “I’m sorry to hear that. It must’ve been horrible to witness.” Ferral didn’t respond, only clenching his fists tighter. “I hate what I am. They died because I exist. Every other experiment suffers because I exist. All this pain is my fault.” Everett was confused at first but frowned at hearing what Ferral said. “No, Ferral. This can’t be all your fault.” “I hate my existence. I hate us experiments. So much so that I developed this proto-cure so that maybe in the future I can fix us all and this pain could stop. That’s what this ring around my neck is for. So I could exterminate every experiment. Maybe then….society will accept us, and all this pain would stop.” 

Everett didn’t try and further push the conversation but instead handed Ferral the plastic bag. “I got everything you wanted, Ferral.” He took it, not even glancing at her. “Thank you.” The two looked in silence at the twin’s graves. “I would hate all of humanity,” Ferral started, Everett looked at him, “But, there are people like you. Like my foster parents. Mr. and Mrs. Cho. People that show and give me hope that humanity is kind, and how could I hate the people I love.” Everett stared at Ferral, her face slightly red, but she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. Ferral gave a small smile, being reassured by what he said. Everyone he loved is why he continued to smile, they numbed his pain.