Material/Life

"Fuck Aylis..." Franz whispered, it sounded like there was a tinge of...sadness. "You couldn't wait until I got back. Vex..."

She put a foot on his body and kicked it, making his limp body shake in the restraint of the chains. Something in my chest tightened seeing the cruelty of it all.

 "He had it coming, come on, Franz. You're too soft. Look, I did him a favor. I blew a hole through his chest. It was painless. He knew it was coming. Would you have rather the Director found him?" 

She wiped her hands of the blood that stained her clothes. The bright orange hair in a short bob with a stark yellow suit and black tie with skin I've never seen skin so pale. Every fiber in my being rejected her and I felt a sharp sensation wrestling in my stomach. Fighting, and clawing to be let out.

She turned towards me and flashed a look at Daiya who remained out cold. "Experience II. Regal practically wouldn't shut up about you. Leave," she turned towards the scientists, "Drop the girl and get the fuck out. This doesn't concern you."

The lab-coated scientist nestled Daiya in the corner who slumped to the ground. They filed out of the room as quickly as they came in and Vex remained crucified and suspended in the air. A puddle of blood swam around his feet and blended in with the solid metal floor. 

 It made me think of the first time I met him. He was always questioning. He made me question. There's this hole, deep within in me that mirrored the one in the middle of his stomach. It ached and cried for him to wake up and take me on the neon train again. Just one more time. 

The woman sighed and rubbed the back of her head, "You know, we cared about Vex too. We spend over 200 years together, for what it's worth. But the dude just couldn't let it go. If he was smart, he would've stayed below ground for the rest of his days..."

"But you killed him," I muttered, feeling a haziness that clouded my mind, "You killed him. Because he wanted to know." 

I looked over to Daiya and wondered if she would wake up herself. What would she do if she saw Dr. Vex like this? So lifeless and hollow. What could I do? How could I get out of this situation that all started when I met that man with the violet eyes-no. He targeted me for a reason. I needed to know why. Vex died over this knowledge. Why was I born if I was going to wait until I died?

"His mistake was taking the two of you through Nolan-50. It's a checkpoint in Nolan, and the base of the Department of Science. Where all citizens are born. It's like he wanted to die..."

Franz walked over to the body of Vex and stared at it for a while. 

What were even my last words to him? Can I remember? Did I ever even truly appreciate him? He saved my life, and I can't shed a tear for him. It was nothing. I did nothing. I was merely existing as Franz said, walking aimlessly without a direction. And now? What was I doing? A deep pain ran throughout my chest, tightening my throat. I was filled with so much regret and longing that I didn't know what to do with. 

"He knew his end was nearing," Franz spoke while loosening the chain on his hands, then his feet to lay him on the ground. I think he saw me look over at Daiya before he spoke again.

"Don't worry, she's alive. I told you I'm reasonable. He must've wanted you both to know something. Otherwise, he would've never taken you here. We're alike more than you think." He whispered. 

"We've killed countless people, experimented and tortured so many. More than I could count.  Vex was the only one who ever dared to question Nolan-"

"Yeah," Aylis interjected, "But you know what happens when you do! He had it coming. It was better we got to him first, the Director..." 

"Franz said we killed many people. That's true. Vex probably killed more than the rest of us combined. I don't particularly feel bad about it, but to know we had been used to fulfill such a goal..." She walked towards me, and I naturally flinched but she passed me and crouched down to sit next to Daiya.

"1000 years ago, when scientists located a part of the brain in the section named Experience could be removed, we started to access the light within us. Teleportation, regeneration, light projection. It was a magical time for humanity..." she trailed off.

Franz continued to stand in front of Dr Vex's body, inspecting and looking at the cells that leaked from his stomach. They squirmed and morphed together on the ground, constantly trying to reattach themselves but split upon the touch. "He doesn't want to die. His desire for knowledge won't let him. Ironically, it led to his demise."

A glimmer of hope shot up in my body. "So, he can survi-"

"No," the woman interrupted me. 

"His cells are not able to regenerate at a light speed anymore, so his bodily functions are of a normal human now. Whatever that means."

"Then why me?" I asked, "It doesn't seem worth it if no one can remember anything. Killing and torturing so many people. For me to hate myself so much...no one wants to live that way."

"How do you know? Power isn't equal, nor can you say what is suitable for someone else. It's strange, no?" she continued, "To gain something you have to lose another, it's the pinnacle of science. Vex told us that. He wasn't the guy you rem-"

"Aylis," Franz interjected, "At least let him die with dignity-"

"It IS dignity," she stood up and before I blinked, stood right in front of his face. 

"Why lie? He was as guilty and evil as the rest of us. He monitored and tested on the Experiences' just like us. Killed and tortured countless people. Just like us. At least it led to something."

"Don't talk about him that way," I grumbled.

"HE USED YOU!" Aylis screamed towards me, "You were an experiment! Your friend knows! Ask her! Don't be an idiot. Vex meant something to us too but I'm not delusional. I don't care about the infinite city or what humans used to be, or the lost history of the world. It's why the fucking Director keeps random monuments of old cities of the past! Nostalgia serves no good."

She teleported in front of me and grabbed me by the neck and slammed me against the metal wall. Her icy hand gripped around my throat as she pinned me and left my feet dangling the air. "Don't piss me off."

I couldn't believe this. It wasn't true. Dr. Vex wasn't like that. I didn't want to believe it. Something in me resonated with it but I couldn't accept it. They're wrong. He insighted something in me that was dormant, something I had no idea existed. Change.

"Humans this, humans that! Who fucking cares! You can't stop the Director. You saw all of those people above this floor. They resisted; look at where that got them. Not all people forget. Did Vex tell you that?"  she snarled in my face. 

What? 

"By your face, no. Does that sound like someone who cared about you? The ones who have a higher concentration of light live above ground, the ones who don't, live below ground and work. It's simple." 

So not everyone forgets? That can't be true. 

I could barely speak with her hand gripped around my neck. "You're lying,"

"It's rare, but some people that were born with a larger reserve of light resisted the effect. The more I think about it; the more necessary project Experience is. Out of 20 billion people in Nolan, less than 5% showed signs of remembering after the procedure." She paused,

"Imagine if all of them decided to revolt? They're up there, go on. Go fucking see for yourself what happens!" 

I immediately flashed back to the man who was killed in that factory.

"Let her go," Franz said.

She looked over at him but continued to hold me tight. I couldn't move. 

"Vex died for being too curious. Franz. Don't make the same mistake he did. They're always watching. Light posts that control images. No teleportation above ground. Soldiers at every checkpoint. Nolan is always updating. You have two choices if you are cursed enough to know," she looked at me dead in my eyes.

"Be ignorant and act like nothing is wrong. Hide in the shadows or join the government. Or try and resist and end up a slave or a test subject to project Experience."

She let go and tossed me towards the feet of Franz, who continued to stare at the pool of blood of Dr. Vex. 

 "I don't care what you do. But if I see you again, I'm going to kill you," she glared at me, "You can't change things, it's impossible. You'll see. Franz, I'm warning you."

With that she slammed the door shut and only left the three of us sitting in the cold, metallic room. I guess the sound of it all finally woke Daiya up and I could only feel her pain as the scream sent a chill down the spine of my body as she saw Franz standing over the body of Dr. Vex.

Another memory I wish I could forget. 

***