INCOMPATIBILITY

Ataoro didn’t understand what was going on. The young guardian was struggling to speak, and seemed to be horrified by his recent demonstration of power. He knew well, from his own experience, that Aelia was neither weak nor a coward. It was the first time he himself had seen a reaction like this from her, and couldn’t figure out what had triggered it. However, he couldn’t accept any guardian to show this level of weakness.

"What’s wrong Aelia? Were you scared by the vigilants?" Asked Ataoro jokingly.

"I…" She mumbled with a shaking voice. "I hate this."

Ataoro’s gaze froze towards Aelia, and slowly began to spiral into fury.

"What was that?" He asked coldly.

Aelia’s hands turned into fists, and her sight was fixed into the ground. She knew well that her words would get her into trouble, but she didn’t care anymore. It might have been because of the anguish produced by her lack of sleep, or because she felt a lingering, visceral rejection towards the vigilants, but she could only remain silent as her emotions were taking over her drowsy body.

Ataoro, took a few moments to calm down. He took a deep, meditative breath, transforming his rage into functionality.

"Look Aelia, I have no idea of what’s going on with you, but if this continues, we’ll have to take measures." Said Ataoro in a calm but menacing tone.

"I don’t care… I hate this." Replied Aelia with a slightly more calm but sorrowful voice.

Ataoro could see how Aelia’s emotions were taking control over her, with enough strength to freeze her if they continued building up. As a guardian himself, he wasn’t a complete stranger to that feeling.

"You are losing control Aelia. Take a deep breath and meditate."

"Meditate?" Asked Aelia shakingly "Meditation won’t solve anything. It just makes everything feel empty."

"I know what you’re going through Aelia. When I was your age, my minds also spiraled out of control." Said Ataoro trying to show empathy. "The first thing you need to do is ground your mind to something. Take a deep breath."

Aelia stopped for a moment, and did as Ataoro commanded, taking a deep, shaky breath. She managed to stabilize after a few seconds.

"I don’t think you know what I'm going through, Lord Ataoro." Said Aelia. "You asked me if I wanted power to protect Rossmaria."

Ataoro stared at Aelia with his full attention, expectant of her following words.

"But why would I?" Replied Aelia now seemingly in more control of her emotions. "I don’t crave power like you seem to do, Lord." She continued, with fear but determination. "And I truly, wholeheartedly wish I could care about Rossmaria and its people… But the truth is I don’t."

The veteran guardian was struggling to understand the words he was hearing.

"I don’t even know their faces, or what they’re living for. Why should I care about any of them?"

There was a deep silence. Aelia couldn’t gather the strength to lift her eyes towards her supervisor, who looking at her with absolute rejection and incredulity. Ataoro closed his eyes and grabbed his head with his right hand, before he could speak again.

"If there’s one thing I respect about you Aelia, is your honesty." Said Ataoro with a serious look "It’s the first time I hear anything like this. But it’s not acceptable in any way."

Ataoro began to walk towards the gates, facing away from Aelia, whom was standing cold without any physical reaction. Aelia knew that Ataoro's had made his mind, only with those few words.

"You seem to be lacking the fundamental values to be a guardian. We’ll need to evaluate how to move forward with you, from now on."

Ataoro opened the gates and walked away, as Aelia let herself drop down to the center of the training hall. She took a few moments to process the recent interaction, not completely sure if she regretted speaking up. But things were surely going to become even harder from now on, as she had just now openly revealed that she lacked the basic foundations to be a guardian. She wondered if all these years of hard work, of being confined inside the palace since birth, had been for nothing. These thoughts quickly began to spiral inside her head, building strong, uncontrolled emotions, across her whole body.

Aelia sat down on the floor with her knees bent, and her feet pointing out to each side, completely defeated. Her eyes were fixed on the ground and her arms hanged beside her, almost lifeless. She wanted to scream, to cry, or to do anything that could relieve her sense of impotence, but her body wouldn’t respond, and was slowly getting colder.

She could hear voices far in the corridor. It seemed as if Ataoro had met with someone on his way out. It was hard to recognize those voices, but she didn’t really care. The voices quickly turned into hasty footsteps. Maybe someone was jogging or running.

The footsteps became louder and louder, until someone arrived at the training hall. She could clearly hear two voices calling her by her name “Lady Aelia!”. Her body didn’t respond in any way, but her minds activated slightly, making her eyelids react to the call with a slight twitch, livening slightly her vacant expression.

"Quick! She must be cold. Cover her!" Could be heard from a familiar feminine voice.

Before she even noticed, Fennel was beside her covering her with a blanket.

"I think she’s having a nervous breakdown Inai!" Could be heard coming from Fennel’s mouth. "What... What do we do?"

"Stay calm, I know what to do." Said Inai with an unusual confidence in her voice. "Stay close to her. I’ll be right back."

Inai left the hall running, and Aelia was aware of it. She could vaguely understand what was going on, but couldn’t recall any events from the past few seconds. It was as if she was an idle spectator of her own senses, unable to respond or act in any way. She thought she could hear Fennel talking to her in a worried but positive manner. It was really hard to understand what he was saying, but she managed to recognize a few times he called her name “Aelia”, without including the ridiculous honorific she was so used to. This made her happy, in the most primal and instinctive manner.

Inai returned, and quickly kneeled beside Aelia with something in her hands.

"Listen Fennel, guardians are not quite like ordinary people." Said Inai in a shaky but functional tone. "This is the only way to bring them back once they freeze."

Even after everything, Aelia couldn’t help but think about those words. She wasn’t quite like ordinary people. She simply couldn’t be.

Aelia could feel how Inai grabbed her stiff arm, and injected her with some sort of syringe. It felt a little bit painful, but just like everything else, she didn’t feel the pain as her own, so she didn’t really care.

"Don’t worry Lady Aelia. You’ll be fine." She could hear, without being completely sure of who was talking to her now.

Aelia's sight quickly began to blur, and before any other thoughts could reach her minds, everything blacked out.