Prologue

 I roll to my back, staring up at the night sky, allowing my body and mind to absorb where I am, and reminding myself who I’m with. Finally, after all this time, we’re together, becoming one… body, mind, and spirit. My body’s still buzzing. I can’t sleep; my mind is too full of her. The taste of her still lingering on my lips.

I turn my head. She’s sound asleep, laying on her side, her lips slightly parted as her breathing is melodic and her tanned body slightly shimmers under the glow of a full moon.

God, she’s breathtaking!

I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her. Her body is all I see and the scent of her is on me, all around me. So, I enroll myself in a masterclass in the study of her body. Every curve, every freckle, every line –I’m tattooing to my mind’s eye. There isn’t anything I don’t want to know about her. She’s a part of me now.

I'm a man of few words. Hate wasting time, I say what's on my mind.

Poetry? Hate it. Despise it! Yet tonight. Words scream through my mind. I'm filled to over-F-ing-flowing with sonnets. All because of her.

I literally can’t take my eyes off of her. I'm still in awe that we’re actually here. She must be chilled though. After our incredible night of passion, our bodies cooled down quickly in the early fall air.

She’d been nuzzled up to me for a while, but - like she's told me - she's a restless sleeper so she's now a hand’s width away. I don't mind; it gives me a better chance to take her all in at my leisure.

I reach down, carefully tugging at the throw that’s tangled in our legs - as I gently place it up over her shoulder, shaking my head, still not believing I’m here with her.

I don’t want to wake her. I don’t want this night to end, even though I know I need to leave soon. But still, I linger, allowing my mind to hope, trying not to chastise myself. Hope is a dangerous word for me. But I want this so badly. Too much for my own good.

Sex with her was like nothing I’ve ever experienced, and all it’s done is make me long for it again. Over and over. Sure, there was the raw lust, the hunger that’s been building inside of me, finally satiated. But it was so much more than those animalistic desires being tamed. It was as if we had known each other from another time, we were that in tune with one another. I don't know, I guess I expected her to be timid, shy even. Her proper ways, her old-fashioned thinking. All lent towards her needing to be guided.

But tonight, she was anything but timid. She was open and giving, –God! Was she giving! Mmmm… my heart bangs against my chest, still reeling from memories of the things we did to and for each other.

The thing is, we reached one another. On a whole other plane. Our souls united. We were open and vulnerable. She saw me. Nobody ever has seen me… not in the way she sees me. Somehow, she eased down my walls, without me even being aware, and she showed me what love could look like.

I’m not kidding myself though. She owns me now. I know that. But still… I wonder.

Could my life really be like this?

Could this honestly be my new reality?

Could a woman like her, love a man like me for the rest of our lives?

God! I hope so. It'll be alright, she loves me. She told me so. This very night, in the heat of our passion we said it to one another. I’m not a fool, I understand those three words always being tossed around so negligently, I’ve had my share of women saying those exact words to me in the heat of it, when I turn them on to a point of… but no –this is different. She looked into my eyes, softly, tenderly, lovingly… and said the words I’d been dying to tell her.

I’ve never in my life reciprocated those dangerous words. Those words were trouble. Trouble that I wasn’t needing in my life. I always –always made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t in the market for a relationship. I know I’ve broken some hearts, but I never lead them on, and I can’t be responsible for women’s emotions. But not tonight. Tonight, I would have climbed the highest mountain top to shout to the world my undying love for this woman. She could have me –all of me!

I meditate on that reality. My heart is ripped open, willing to swallow the whole dang thing. Love –and all that comes with it. Being with her - like this, under a canopy of stars - is everything, and yet not enough. The more she gives to me, the more I need of her. She is the sum of my everything and my heart is completely occupied with thoughts of her.

Yet, with all these new feelings bubbling up and washing over me, filling my heart to overflowing, my mind is taking a different road, because it seems, no matter how I feel, or have been feeling about this woman, I still harbor a nagging ache in the back of my eyes; just prickling beneath the surface, making me question. Is our love - this new budding romance of ours - strong enough to bridge the gap between her world and mine? It’s all still so new. Uncharted territory. I say ‘world’ flippantly, but we could just as easily be living on different planets for how opposite our lives are.

She can’t stay, that’s a given… but will she be able to leave all of this? It’s so much a part of who she is. Could she adapt? Would she even want to? Would she come to resent me for taking her from the place she loves so deeply? Is she even at a point where she can embrace the fact that she can’t stay? Every time the conversation lends to leaving here, she switches gears, changes topics. Is she in denial of the inevitable?

Everything here feels rooted to the past, to the earth… the old earth. The earth that she’s rooted to, tendrils spreading deep into the fertile ground. Where my world - in comparison - is the polar opposite. East to West, never intersecting. I question, if I chase after her, will I ever reach her?

And then I allow my mind to think of what our realities will look like. Our day to day lives. Will she live, teetering on the edge, as I'm walking around on eggshells, worried she'll tip over it, taking my soul with her when she falls?

Even just working in my kitchen will be a reality jolt for her. Nothing here, in her world, is automated. There are literally zero conveniences here. And she’s known nothing different than this life. I can’t kid myself. I already know everything is going to be a challenge. And I already know this because any conversation we’ve had about modernizing - even the simplest of things around here - she’s given me flack about.

I sigh a heavy sigh. No matter how much I reprimand myself, telling myself to stay in the here and now, I’m not that kind of person, I need all the variables to be looked at and assessed. I need to recalculate the options and find the best solution. Not to mention, I haven’t even begun to think about what’s going on at Beginning.

I’ve had suspicions about the upper echelon - who are running the New World - for some time now. I have a bad feeling about it, yet I can’t seem to pinpoint the problem. There’s so many inconsistencies, possible foul play, so far nothing’s lined up, pointing the proverbial arrow in the direction of what's going on.

I wish I had more time… time to just live here, in this quiet place of solitude and beauty. Time to figure things out, both for us, and for the welfare of Beginning. I need to know she’ll –we’ll be safe living there. It's ridiculous to think that, since most of my thoughts have been unsubstantiated.

“Ugh!” My brain is too full, there are too many facets to identify, let alone iron out tonight. I try to quiet my mind. Can’t I - just this once - allow myself to bask in the moment –I don’t want to work it out, it’s all too overwhelming to think about as I lie here next to her. Too many unanswered questions that my mind struggles with letting go.

I stare back up at the vastness of the sky. It’s different here. Raw. Unclaimed. It reminds me of home. Not my home now, but the home I grew up in. Everything here is untouched, unaltered, and invigorating.

In comparison, where I’m now - my home for the last six plus years - our sky is breathtaking. I’m not going to argue against that, and I know, without a doubt, that this sky - here tonight - won’t last, whereas my sky will go on forever. The sun is rapidly burning off this sky, this land, and all its inhabitants. It’s just a matter of time. But even that reality hasn't really set in for her, and it makes me nervous about what lies ahead for us.

Things here are too similar to the way life used to be, when this planet was healthy. This is still her reality; her life hasn’t been altered to adapt to the changing of our ecosystem. She’s basically been living in denial.

The conversations I’ve had with her about the health of our planet seem to just float over the top of her head. It’s not that she’s not intelligent. It just feels like she can’t go there. Maybe dealing with her mother and what lies ahead of them is all she can handle now. So, I just sit back, allowing her to bask in the last remnants of the beauty this earth once held. Reality will catch up with her soon enough. Let her live in her innocence.

I shake my head and turn my gaze to look at her beautiful face as I take her all in.

She’s what I want to focus on! So, I finally force my brain to shut down. I choose instead, to relish the way my body is feeling right now. Complete. Satisfied. Loved. Spent.

As I allow my eyes to feast on her perfect features, I find myself stunned with the reality that I found it. This feeling that I hadn’t even known I was chasing after. The feeling of finding my one true love. God! That’s a lot to take in. I’m letting the realization melt through me, like warm molten lava, searing and molding me into a better man. I like feeling this way –it’s not just the physical release; it’s every single aspect about her becoming a part of me.

I know that in a few minutes, I’ll need to get up. But for now, I lean back on the blanket, clasping my hands together and placing them behind me, cupping my head for a pillow, closing my eyes, choosing to meditate on those wonderful thoughts. Thoughts of a lifetime with the woman that I love.

--

God! What the…?

I start to stir, until I’m racked with pain –pain that’s running from my kidneys, past my ribcage, all the way up in between my shoulder blades. I’m finding myself moaning and writhing in agony. My lungs are struggling for air. My body feels like crumpled, discarded trash. I'm completely slumped over in a heap, shivering, and my clothes are damp. Really damp!

Where am I? And where is she!?

I open my eyes, just a slit's worth, because I'm finding myself - hands clutched to my head - trying desperately and without any success to push this debilitating headache out the back of my skull. And as I timidly run my fingers through my hair I recoil when I hit the large bump that's plastered with - what I assume to be - my blood-soaked hair. Fuu…. My word dies in my mouth. Swearing isn't allowed and even though I'm sure I'm alone, I have no doubt that wherever I am, there are still eyes on me. There are always eyes watching.

I blink blurrily, my eyelids are heavy as an anvil and my eyes, drier than the Sahara. I try to get my bearings, figure out where the heck I am, but this pounding in my skull won't allow me to put two coherent thoughts together.

Reality strikes a heavy blow as I realize I’ve been dreaming again and yet, somehow that reality is a worse blow than any I received last night. My gut wrenches with the deep longing I have for her… Even after learning the truth, she seems to never leave me as she still lives in the recesses of my mind. But, as always, I need to seal her up, tuck her safely away inside my memories, and focus on the here and now.

I try to move.

My body is weak, rung out.

What happened last night?

I’m really struggling. I can’t seem to recall what happened to get me here. The last thing I remember is standing at the outskirts of region 493 at the edge of the outer wall, waiting for... Wait! Calliope was supposed to… “What the heck!”

My thoughts drift to last night. Calliope… she was supposed to… Oh God, No!

And just like that, at the moment I'm starting to connect the dots, my heart stops beating. Literally! I can't feel it beating. My breath escapes me, and I'm so filled with dread I'm honestly not sure what to do; right before everything goes black again.

When I finally come to, I find that I'm still wracked with the exact same pain burrowing deep into my skull, along with problems too numerous to conceive. I can tell that my body has been used as a punching bag and I’m feeling every single kick and punch that came my way. Except, I now have the added delight of feeling like my hair is being yanked or pulled or something that's extremely painful and almost unbearable.

My hand goes up, this time carefully searching for the spot. “Augh! Shi…! Crap! That's it.” My fingers have landed on the culprit. The coagulated blood has dried so tightly against my skull to the point it's pulling my hair up, aggravating my wound.

Even though it hurts like the dickens, my hand stays in place as my fingers gingerly dance over the dried bloody hair. It's a strange sensation. The pain is definitely at the top of my pain meter, but the gaping gouge fascinates me. I keep monkeying with the busted open skin in that one spot while my brain struggles to come back online. There's definitely a gaping wound. The skin is elevated like a plow has stirred up the earth, leaving a wide crevasse behind.

I struggle to remember what happened. What type of instrument would have left this long gash. No one is supposed to have weapons. But that doesn’t mean weapons can’t be made out of almost anything.

God it hurts!

I pass out again.

I swear, every time I pass out, I awake to more pain. But I try my darndest to shrug it off. I’m unsure of how long I was out, but, after a few moments of me getting reacquainted with my wound, I take in my surroundings.

I'm definitely alone in here. There's only the faint sound of a dripping pipe somewhere a ways away from me. The sound is reverberating and echoing though, which means there are a lot of solid walls for the sound to bounce off with probably no bodies to absorb the sound waves. I think - I'm like… Really alone in here.

But where the heck is here?

I rub over my eyes, forcing them to focus. It’s dark, a barely visible kind-of dark, with only a single wire hanging in the center of the room, with a very low wattage bulb that’s humming loudly, probably on its last legs.

I slowly scan the room. There's nothing. Nothing but stone. Cold, damp stone. Of course there are no windows, but there’s a friggin heavy metal door with one of those barred window-door things that guards usually look through and it’s swung open, but there’s barely any light coming from the other side of it. It’s a hint of a light, but it’s very faint –like it could be several meters away. It’s just enough to cast shadows. I wonder if there’s a guard down here.

My empty stomach turns, as I find myself gagging from the stench. My eyes and nose are pulled to the opposite corner from where I'm slumped on the floor. There's a hole in the ground where the rock has been chiseled down, sloping toward an open hole, wreaking of sewage. I’m pretty sure it’s just a hole that hasn’t been cleaned out in some time. I don't have to have my brain engaged to realize where I am.

I'm in the dungeons!

My mind is spinning out of control, if these are the dungeons, where the heck is everybody? This place is exactly what I thought it would be, but, if they’ve been bringing people here by the unit’s full, why isn’t it packed? How many of these dungeons are built?

My mind quickly shifts gears. If I’m here, that means we’ve clearly been found out. There’s no other explanation. It probably was that jackal, Jaantii. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him. Never trust a scoundrel who's trying to make a quick take. He couldn't wait to get his hands on our gems. Freakin’ Dirtbag! Traitor!

That's not the worst of it. I need to figure this out… somehow. I don’t care about me. I’m more concerned about what they’ve done with Calliope? Did she make it back or is she still safe? And the rest of them… I can’t think as the pain shoots through my skull and feels like it escapes through my left eye. My hand cradles my head as I lean into it. Trying to calm the throbbing, excruciating pain. My whole body is convulsing in pain.

“Calli!” After a few moments of whimpering, I call out, ridiculously hoping she's in here with me but then praying to god she isn’t. I pause, hearing my voice echo down the hall.

“Calliope! Are you in here?”

There's a rustling sound and my ears perk up, and then clinking, like a tin can is rolling across a cement floor. My ears are ringing from the beating and the pain, but I fight to tune it out so I can hear better.

“Calli, is that you?” I lean forward but I’m still too weak to stand so my palms smack hard against the freezing cold and damp rock putting me in a dog-type position, but I tip over. I think my leg is broken.

I hear a clicking sound… I listen carefully, holding my breath, but now feeling my heart pounding in my chest and temples. Oh hell! It's just the pitter-patter of feet scurrying down the hall. I'd recognize that sound anywhere.

Rats! I've had enough run-ins with them in my life to have that signature sound memorized. I was almost always greeted with the pitter-patter of mice and rats, scurrying down the long cement path in the barn at the crack of dawn. They’d sleep in the hay troughs at night. The milking cows gave off their body heat and the barn stayed a toasty thirty-six degrees, even during the coldest months of winter.

My mind shifts back to my predicament. I don’t know, that feels like too weak of a word for where I am. Predicament! This is more like a freaking nightmare. Panic is overtaking me again. If they caught Calli, where would they have taken her?

The last I can remember… We were saying a quick goodbye at the gathering. I told her to be watchful and to take a different route –both going and returning. She was meeting up with Kendahl’s team to fill them in.

I should have never let her go alone. We should have stuck together. Although maybe it was for the best, maybe they nabbed me before she returned. Certainly, I’d remember if she made it back to me… We’d been so careful up to that point, there’s no way we would have been caught… unless - like I already am sure of - Jaantii ratted us out. I’m gonna kill him when I get out of here. And then I’m gonna string him up just outside the perimeters and let the vultures pick his scanking body clean.

And, so help me God! If they've laid a finger on Calliope, I'll kill every last one of them. I don't care if I have to tunnel my way out of here using my fingernails, I swear… I'll do it!