Sudden Death in Space

Nervously, I twiddled my thumbs, as we waited back inside the truck for the signal to begin the sudden death round. This was it, if we lost, our food truck adventure would be coming to an end and I'd be on the hook for all the debt that we (mostly Randy) racked up. Despite the stakes though, my brother was calmly reclined back in his driver's chair, not seeming to have a care in the world.

I shook the backrest of his seat. "What the heck are you doing? The starting pistol is going to go off any second."

"Chill out, little bro. There's a burger ready to go." He pointed to a singular hamburger sitting on a paper plate.

"Then what about finding the tie breaking customer?"

He confidently grinned. "I might have one last trick up my sleeve."

There was a sudden bang that came from the robo-ref’s starting pistol. Most people in the parking lot had already started filing into the concert venue. Only a handful remained outside. The trench coat guy already had a tray in hand, as he rushed toward the stragglers.

"Looks like it's time to use the secret weapon." Randy leaned forward in his seat and pressed a large red button that was hidden under the steering wheel.

There was a rattling that came from beneath us, as a secret compartment opened up from the floor in the kitchen. A slot machine popped through the opening.

"What the heck is wrong with you? This isn't the time for gambling!" I snapped at him.

I was utterly dumbfounded as to what he had planned. This made absolutely no sense. How the heck was a slot machine going to get us a customer?

He shook his head as he walked over to the machine. "Do you remember what I told back at the casino about not doubting the mojo? I need you to put all your faith into me right now."

As much as I didn't understand his thinking sometimes, he's somehow managed to get us out of every situation we've been in so far. There was no point in doubting him now.

I patted him on the shoulder. "I believe in you, Randy!"

"And what about you, accountant chick?"

Mindy shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea what's going on or what the two of you are talking about, but if it ends this quickly so that I can go to my concert, then I'm all for it."

"Then I guess it's time to win this thing!" Without an ounce of self doubt, Randy pulled the slot machine's lever. All three of the columns began spinning. One by one as each stopped, it let out a pinging noise, finally revealing... Cherry, cherry, cherry!

"Yes!" The three of us simultaneously cheered.

"What exactly is supposed to happen now?" I wondered.

Randy snapped his fingers. "No clue, little bro, but our jackpot is bound to get paid out any second..." He paused for a moment. "...yep any second now..."

None of us knew what we were waiting for, but we stared out the window, hoping that our leap of faith was about to pay off. The trench coat guy was just a few yards away from reaching the nearest bystander, when a sudden whooshing noise ripped through the entire lot. Everyone in the vicinity stopped and turned their attention to the sky...

At first it sort of looked like a shooting star. Progressively though, it grew larger and was seemingly getting closer. Finally, it was apparent what was happening, it was a ship, a space bus to be exact.

"Is it me or does that thing look like it's coming this way?" I said.

The space bus was surrounded by a fiery inferno from the friction of Space Nashville's atmosphere.

"Oh shoot, I think it's going to crash!" Mindy exclaimed.

Violently, the ship touched its front tires to the pavement. The rubber on them burst and it began sliding across the parking lot. Luckily for us, it was in the opposite direction of our truck. Unluckily for the trench coat guy, it was headed straight toward the sushi truck.

The trench coat guy suddenly dropped the platter of food he was holding, as he turned toward his ship. "What the fu-!?"

The space bus proceeded to slam into the side of the sushi truck, causing it to get propelled up with enough force to send it into orbit. It exploded mid-air.

Trench coat guy fell to his knees, utterly defeated. "My food truck!"

The space bus came to a complete stop and its side doors slid open. An army of dorky looking aliens came rushing out. One in particular looked familiar...

"I told you guys it was legit." The alien speddit nerd from earlier proclaimed to his fellow s/spacetrucks geeks, as he led them over to our food truck.

"Woah!" The group gawked.

Randy immediately started his grill back up with a smile. "No pictures unless you're going to buy something, nerd bros."

The spedditors all formed an orderly line, as Randy began serving them one by one. Ultimately indicating a decisive victory for us.

🍔🍔🍔

"Sucks to suck!" Randy gloated as he took a victory lap on foot around the parking lot.

The trench coat guy remained on his knees, silent, staring at the now empty spot where his truck once was.

"Not even your stupid zombies could stop us." Randy continued to brag.

Normally, I'd reprimanded him for being a sore winner, but after almost getting my face eaten off by zombies, I had very little sympathy for the trench coat guy.

"You honestly think this is over?" Trench coat guy spoke in a dark tone.

"Course it is. We wagered that the winner shuts down their business." My brother retorted.

There was an eerie silence followed by maniacal laughter from the trench coat guy. "I could care less about that food truck. It's meaningless compared to my true intentions..." He looked up out of Space Nashville's artificial atmosphere into the vast vacuum of space that lay outside of it. "...to completely eradicate hamburgers from the universe!"

Randy shook his head. "I knew you were a scumbag from the start, but that's just ducking pure evil!"

"But why would you want to do that?" I wondered.

"I supposed it's time to unveil my true identity." Trench coat guy grabbed both his coat and trilby hat and tossed them aside, revealing...

"Donald MarkDonald!" Randy, Mindy, and I all exclaimed together.

In front of us was a clown with a red afro and big red nose that was wearing a bright red and white striped jumpsuit. This was no ordinary clown though, it was the MarkDonald's Corporation's once beloved mascot.

"If you're the actual Donald MarkDonald, wouldn't that make you over a thousand years old?" Mindy responded.

The gravellyness of Donald's voice subsided and became a bit softer sounding. Despite that, it still had a tinge of malice behind it. "That would be correct. Decades of consuming nothing but fast food has granted me immortality thanks to the preservatives."

"Why target us, specifically?" I asked.

"It was just a fluke at first. I had been searching for a Simple-Cook Oven for a while, as the cornerstone of my master plan. By some stroke of misfortune, the two of you purchased it just before I could. Lucky for me, your brother's a complete idiot."

"Yeah right you basshole. I've never taken an IQ test before, but if I did, it would definitely be off the charts." Randy felt the need to interject.

Donald continued, "I will admit things didn't go as I planned. I intended for Grumace to eat you on that trash world. When that didn't work, the Hamrobblar was supposed to sabotage your business. Obviously, the two of them ended up being completely useless. That's when I had to take matters into my own hands."

"And that's when you resorted to your little mind control tricks." Randy pointed at him accusingly.

"I'd say it was a test run more than anything. You see, when imitation crab is exposed to the radiation from the Simple-Cook Oven's light bulb, it creates a Space California roll capable of turning those who consume it into loyal sushi loving, beef hating zombies. The best part is the zombism can be spread through getting bit as well. All I need to do is serve a single Space California roll and I can infect an entire planet... Unfortunately, I didn't anticipate it being reversible."

Randy chuckled. "And it looks like my burgers foiled your mind control plan, clown bro."

"You may have set me back, but with my immortality, I have nothing but time. I am essentially a demigod of the fast food industry. You're just a mortal who hasn't even scratched the surface of this galaxy. I've seen things you couldn't even comprehend."

"How come you hate burgers so much?" Mindy chimed in.

He looked up as he reminiscenced with a look of resentment on his face. "Do you know what it's like to spend your life creating the largest burger chain in the galaxy, just to have it taken from you?" When he said the word "burger", his eyes became wide with rage. "After centuries of being the face of MarkDonald's, the board of directors decided we needed a more serious image to appeal to modern times. No more colorful decor or fun characters. It was all about sleek and simplistic modernism. Soon after, I was voted out of my own company that I built with my own two hands. At that moment, I decided if I couldn't be in control of the galaxy's largest burger empire, then maybe burgers shouldn't even exist in the first place!"

"I can sort of understand where you're coming from. My brother and I have been working our butts off ever since he talked me into this business venture. It would be horrible if it all ended up being for nothing, but isn't going as far as eradicating an entire food item from existence a bit extreme. You said you're immortal, so couldn't you just start a new burger chain and work your way back up?" I attempted to reason with him, but it seemed like I struck a nerve.

His white make-up covered face turned red, with frustration. "You're just as dumb as your older brother. It's not that simple. There was a non-compete clause in my severance. If I start another burger company, the MarkDonald's Corporation will unleash an army of attorney bots on my doorstep." He suddenly got an ominous look in his eyes as he glared at my brother. "No, if I can't run a burger company, then nobody can!"

Out of his pocket, he pulled a small glass vial sealed with a cork. Inside it contained something brown. Without warning, he threw it in my brother's direction, and proceeded to book it away from the concert venue, toward the metropolitan area. Everything seemed to go in slow motion as it tumbled through the air. I had no idea what was in that vial, but judging from Donald's malice, it couldn't be good.

"Noooooooo!" I shouted as I dove in slow motion in front of my brother. The glass container shattered on top of my head and out from it crawled thousands of tiny brown ticks, which immediately swarmed my entire body.

"Little bro!" Randy panicked, as he attempted to try and brush them off me with his hand.

I jumped back before he could touch me. "Don't, you’ll get covered too!" Bites could be felt on every square inch of my body. Before long, I began to feel lightheaded from blood loss.

"I'll call an ambulance!" Mindy exclaimed as she pulled out her phone.

My vision became more and more clouded by the second. Both my brother and Mindy's shouts became muffled and then my vision went black…