Chapter 33:
Robot Catgirls Philosophizing on the Moon!
Stella, armed with a peach pie and Isla's lucky charm (a cross Lazarus 5 had peed on), knocked on the door to Tsukiko's house. A quick infrared scan showed that she was there, and that she was, unfortunately, like Kou, which meant she'd that pretend not to be there until Stella left. Why? She'd been friendly at the beginning...
Since there was a drone nearby, Stella shot it. However, at the last second, the cursed machine dodged her attack. Stella attempted to vaporize it until she ran out of fingers. With both hands on cooldown and a yellow ribbon tied to her tail, which had an emergency laser beam, Stella was disarmed; there was nothing to do but to admit defeat... to a civilian drone...
...as if. She lunged at it. The stupid machine must've been possessed by a mosquito with how well it dodged what should've been a mortal blow.
As if things couldn't get worse, second drone came to bother her. Her fingers were still on cooldown. She didn't want to burn the ribbon, but if it came down to it...
The drones hovered above her, circling her. "That's it," Stella said. "Initiating self-destruct sequence."
Tsukiko slammed the door open. "Wait!"
When Stella saw the control panel in her hand, it took extreme self-control not to vaporize it. "Villain," she told Tsukiko.
Tsukiko forced a smile, but it wasn't particularly scary. Slowly, one of the drones hovered into her house. "Sorry, I was just... sorry." Just what? "The other one isn't mine. The, um. The person controlling it isn't a very good pilot, so you can probably destroy it."
"Enemy?" Stella asked.
The drone had already begun to flee. Off it went, into the sky, as though it wouldn't bump the glass soon. "...no, not an enemy. I know why you're here. You want to convince me to say yes to the coffee shop, right?"
"Indeed."
Tsukiko's joined her hands, one mechanical, one organic, behind her back. Today, her hair had been tied into low pigtails. "Hmm..." she trailed off. "Are you still afraid of books?"
"Indeed."
"That's too bad." Tsukiko glanced at the pie, now resting on the front steps to her door (since Stella's hands were still on cooldown). She took it. She stared at it. "And you're baking these to bribe people into saying yes?"
"Inde—no."
"Rrreally..."
"It's nothing but my desire to get along with everyone, expressed as a pie," Stella said. She began flapping her hands so they cooled down faster. "I would be very thankful if you accepted. If you say yes to the coffee shop, I'll give you a coupon." That was Isla's idea. "Two coupons. Would you please tell me how you tied your hair like that? It looks pretty."
Tsukiko blushed. "It does?"
"Indeed." At last, a favorable response. Since Tsukiko seemed slightly less abnormal than most other citizens in the area, perhaps praise would sway her. Or pity. "I wish I had hair like yours or Shigure's. Mine is so... wavy... and it keeps getting in the way... but if I cut it, it won't grow back. I like the design on your apron."
"Really?" Tsukiko smiled, glancing at it. "Do you know where it's from?"
"No."
"It's a kid's show, but... it's very cute. I don't know. It's very soothing to watch after a long day at work. Um. You really like it?"
"It is sublime," Stella said. "When I bake pies, I think about soothing others after a long day at work. I'm thinking of crafting patterns on top. I could bake one and use that design and give you a third coupon if you say yes and also Japanese breakfast please. I can teach you how to make bombs."
Tsukiko's ears flattened at the suggestion.
"I lied. No. Wait. I joked. It was a joke."
She laughed, but it was a nervous gesture—one so obvious even Stella could tell.
Stella was losing her. This wouldn't do. "Would you please wait a moment?"
"Uh. Sure. Okay."
"I'll be right back," Stella said.
"All right."
"Open the door this time."
"Y-yes."
Bad. That sounded like a threat. Or perhaps Tsukiko's response made it sound like one. Either way, Stella had lost her encounter against the drones, and now this. Tsukiko accepted the pie, which was nice, but she'd been doing so every day yet kept saying no to the coffee shop.
It was strange. She'd said it'd be 'good for her' when they'd first met. She hadn't been at the reunion, so why the negative behavior? Word of mouth? But she didn't seem like someone who'd go out to gossip with the rest of the neighborhood. But appearances deceived.
Isla blasted incoherent gibberish from Stella's home theater again, which she turned down by ordering whichever cursed machine ran that system to be silent as she entered her house. He did this whenever she left, and she would've told him to stop, but when he sang along, the noise became almost bearable. "Aw," was Isla's commentary on the matter.
"Where's Shigure?"
"He said he had to run errands or sumn'. Why?"
"I need advice from someone with common sense."
"Of course. How can I help?"
This was hopeless. "Never mind," Stella said. "I'll have to threaten her."
"Threaten who?" Isla put his holo-screen down. "You won't convince anyone that way. Who is it? Lemme help."
"Need I remind you that this whole mess happened because of you..."
This shut Isla up for a good five seconds. "...well... but that's because I didn't expect them to react negatively? I mean, isn't 'appeal to emotion' a popular technique for a reason? It seems almost mean to hear about how hard someone's working to open a cute cafe in the middle of nowhere, only to ostracize her. When will it end? The war? The one within, I mean. The invisible one. Can we ever truly belong, or are we stuck pretending?" He waved at the drone spying at them.
...could Tsukiko hate Stella because she was the one behind the drones, after all? But if she could control them well enough to dodge lasers, why were they so easy to target before? Besides, she'd implied there was another drone user. Even though Stella's tail bristled, she mustered the strength to wave at it, too.
The drone hovered back to Tsukiko's house.
"I feel bad now," Isla said. "That was plagiarism. Kinda. I was quoting a friend's song. You're going back to that neighbor's house, right? I'll go with you. I'll behave. Promise. I just think plagiarism is bad. I'll explain that to her. Just in case."
With Isla as a handicap, Stella went back to Tsukiko's house. At least she opened the door quickly this time. "Hello again." Tsukiko face was lowered, but her gaze aimed at Isla. "Hi."
"Hi."
"Hi."
Silence.
"Is that Yonpo?" Asked Isla, pointing at Tsukiko's ribbon.
Immediately, her face lit up. "Yes!"
"Dope. I didn't know that was popular here, too. More like, I didn't know it was still popular."
"It's not, really... I just like it a lot... oh!" Isla began to sing incoherent, abhorrent nonsense. For a dreadul moment, all hope was lost, and Stella initiated self-destruction (not really, just wishful thinking). However, mystifyingly, Tsukiko joined in. Both of them chanted about despair and genocide. Not really, but that's what the song sounded like.
Once done, Tsukiko clapped. "You sing so well!"
"I know." Isla grinned.
"Do you know any other Yonpo openings, or just that one?"
"Nah. All of them. All fifty-four."
Tsukiko was floored. So was Stella, mostly at the thought of having to hear something like that fifty three more times. Still, the fact remained that the one to win the battle hadn't been her, but Isla. By the third song, Tsukiko said, "Would you like to..." to then trail off. "...ah. I forgot... if you give me some time, I can find something to hide the books with..."
To which Stella replied, "I'll know they're there anyway."
"Sorry."
"As I previously said, it's not your fault books exist."
"Stellaaa." That was Isla. "It'll be fine. It's just ink and paper. Come on. Hey, Ms...?"
"Yokogishizawa Tsukiko. And you?"
"Easley's fine. I just so happened to peek inside your house, and I think I saw a karaoke machine, but I could be mistaken..."
Tsukiko clearly bit back a smile. She shook her head. Then she nodded. "Y-yes. No. I mean you're not mistaken. Would you like to come in? Stella? Please? I'll cover the books with something. It'll be fun."
Isla's grin twisted into a smirk once it was directed at Stella. 'Appeal to emotion'? But then it was gone, and it'd be unwise to ask in front of Tsukiko. Instead, Stella said, "Under one condition."
To which Tsukiko replied, "I've been saying yes to the survey."
"...huh?" Stella and Isla exchanged glances.
"I never said I wasn't..."
Then... was one of the ten allies a villain?
Who?
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