Christmas

What to do? Wilhelm was in a rare situation. For once, he didn’t want to train, nor did he care to check on his squad. Ordinarily, in preparation for the ambush that they planned at Fort Ackermann, he’d spend some time in the morning overseeing his squad’s combat drills, which were conducted by Levin. But today was a day of rest. The rank and file were out on the town, drinking their fears away over the upcoming mission, and they’d have no interest in training even more. As it was, they already thought that Wilhelm worked them too hard.

And although he intended to practice more with using his cybersuit, he had plans for that later: plans that were somewhat forced onto him. At the last meeting, Wilhelm had missed a crucial detail; Rudolf had been assigned as his partner, and Rudolf was even more of a stickler for training than he was. Today, they had a sparring match set up with Storm and Bowie, two other members of the Cyberitters, and the purpose was “working together as a team,” according to Rudolf. Well, he’s the top dog here, and I’m dead last. May as well go with it.

But that was in the evening, and Wilhelm had the whole morning to kill. He’d half considered looking for Levin and his squad, even if no one but Levin would want their lieutenant around. But then, he heard a knock on his door. Rolling off his bed lazily, he walked to the door and looked through the peephole. Familiar green eyes stared back.

“What’s up, Mathilde?” As Wilhelm opened the door, she strolled in and took a look around the room. For once, she was wearing something other than the standard uniform: denim jeans, a black jacket, and a white shirt, along with a light blue scarf. 

Mathilde’s smile grew. “I’m not sure yet. That depends on you, Wil.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Wil, connect the dots! Today’s our day off, and you’re wasting it in your room. Why? It's not like you have anything interesting going on, here. Your room is... bare, at best.”

“What’s the point in prettying it up if we’re gonna move on, anyway? After Berlin’s free of the Soviets, we’ll just keep moving east. The way my room looks barely matters.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” she said. This worried Wilhelm. Since when does she back down from a point? Something’s up.

“…Once we start fighting for real, everything’s going to be different, right?” Mathilde asked. “So I was thinking I’d head out to town, since we haven’t gotten a chance in a while to just… be civilians. And, well… I don’t want to go by myself, you know?”

Finally, Wilhelm caught what she meant. “Me and Rudolf have a match set up later, but till then, I’m free,” he said. “If you still want me to come along, that is.”

Mathilde’s smile returned. “Oh, I do. I need protection, you know? Otherwise, some of the rowdier soldiers in town might try to give me a hard time.”

Wilhelm laughed at that. “Please. If anything, I’d need to protect them from you.”

____________________________________________________________________________

For a while, the two had been content to stroll around Berlin’s shopping district. Wilhelm suspected that the real reason that Mathilde had asked him to come along was to carry her bags, but surprisingly, they bought little and mostly took in the atmosphere. Unblemished by the attacks on the city, the district had countless stores lined along its wide, busy streets. Car engines roared alongside them, and whenever Wilhelm peered inside, he saw as many cars without drivers as he did with them. Wilhelm never liked automated cars much. If they can make machines do that, who’s to say when they’ll automate exosuit pilots, like us?

Along the way to their destination (which only Mathilde knew), their biggest obstacle had been confectionaries and other such shops. Somehow, the two powered through the overwhelming, sugary scents with minimal damage done to their month’s wages. As they neared their goal, snowflakes began to fall from the gray, sunless sky. Unusual, for Berlin.

But then again, it’s been ten years... Mathilde pulled Wilhelm out of his thoughts.

“There it is, Wil!”

In front of them was a large, large tree, and suddenly, Wilhelm remembered that Christmas was only a few weeks away. Thoroughly ornamented and surrounded by large, floating bulbs, large crowds of people surrounded the tree. The tree’s light, opposed to the gray skies of Berlin, had drawn them in like moths to a flame, Wilhelm thought. Moths that were… surprisingly close. Too close. Oh god… they’re all couples.

Suddenly, Mathilde grabbed his hand. “Let's go undercover and get closer, Wil.” Not waiting for him to protest, Mathilde pulled him towards the tree.

The two walked quickly, and at this closer vantage, Wilhelm could see that the glowing orbs around the tree were levitating in a similar way to how their exosuits managed to lift into the air. Once it ran out of energy, the orb glided back down, with a new one replacing it. Just as they’d arrived, a light show began. The orbs spiraled around the tree in new patterns, alternating between a red and green glow. At one point, they even formed a star.

Wilhelm thought about this mundanity to distract himself from Mathilde, who stood right beside him. She seemed focused on the light show, ignoring the legion of lovers around them, but Wilhelm struggled to do the same. In part, because Mathilde had never let go of his hand, and he couldn’t think about much else besides that.  As the orbs formed into a star, Mathilde leaned up to Wilhelm’s ear, so that her voice could overpower the chatter around them.

“It looks like the show’s nearly over. Let’s blend in until the end, Wil.”

Once all the orbs had fallen down, the two went back the way they came from, and at last, Mathilde let go of Wilhelm’s hand.

“Thanks for playing along, Wil. Your acting is... mediocre, but we can work on that.”

“No, I’m good. So… The whole point of today was going to this show, I’m guessing?”

Mathilde’s smile softened. “Not the whole point, but most of it. Sure, we could always come back after the operation, but…” She trailed off.

“We might not be able to come back. Is that what you’re thinking?”

Mathilde looked up towards the sky, and her breath puffed out into the cold air.

“...Yeah. I guess so. Before the captain actually gave the orders, it all felt so… fake, you know? But soon, we’ll be real soldiers. And with the Red Reaper… Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about him, should I?”

Wilhelm pushed down the anger that he felt. “It’s fine, Mathilde. Really.”

“Well, with him on the way, it feels like we really could die out there, at any moment. All I wanted was… to feel like a regular person, before we can’t anymore.”

“And that’s why you pretended like we were dating?”

“No, that was-”

As she spoke, a shout interrupted the two of them. “Who the hell’s this, Mathilde?”

Two young men walked towards them. The one who shouted was also being held up by his friend. His tan cheeks were flush with red, and his eyes were dilated and unfocused. His friend, a tall man with dark brown, long hair and an easygoing smile, seemed to silently apologize to the two. Wilhelm recognized them as sixth and fifth, respectively, in the Cyberitters’ ranks: Damian and Florent. Finally got them memorized, thanks to Mathilde’s pestering.

“Damian? Are you drunk?” Mathilde asked.

“No, Mathilde, I swear! Now, who’s this… who’s this guy s’pose to-”

“Apologies, but he’s lying through his teeth. I’ll take him back to the barracks.”

“Thank you, Florent. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. Have fun, you two.” With that, Florent dragged Damian away, ignoring his pleas and obscenities directed towards Wilhelm.

“That’s…”

Mathilde sighed. “My squad partner, Damian. He’s a good guy, if a little too serious, normally… Losing Camila really hurt him, though. They were dating, before she passed.”

Camila… That was… The girl who had died, who should’ve been in the Cyberitters instead of Wilhelm. Would she and Damian have been at that show instead, if she lived?

“Anyway, thanks for today, Wil. I’ve got a good reason to fight, to help feed my family back home in France, but… Sometimes, it overwhelms me, the cost of all this. Having a nice day out like this, pretending to be anything but a killer… It means a lot to me. So thanks.”

“Yeah… Yeah, no problem.” It was all Wilhelm could think to say, in the moment.

The two began their long walk back to base, harried by the light snowfall. A few moments later, Wilhelm continued.

“Hey, Mathilde.”

“Yeah?”

“I… wasn’t really paying attention to the show. Let’s come back, on Christmas. Alright?”

“...I’ll hold you to it, Wil. That’s a promise.”

“Yeah, but if we’re coming back, I’ve got acting practice to do. Mind giving me a hand?”

Wordlessly, Wilhelm took her hand into his own. For once, he thought that he saw shock on her face, but it faded away like the falling snow.