Interlude – The Third Time

Have you ever met an omnipotent being? Not a god, mind you – those were a dime a dozen. No, I meant a being so powerful, they could destroy the world with a single breath.

I had. Twice.

Well, three times now.

As a giant tortoise with skillful mana manipulation, I lived over a hundred thousand years across two eras: one with nothing but war, and one with a tenuous peace. Still, encountering such a being should only be a once-in-a-lifetime event. And yet here I was, having the third clean dishes in some Adventurer’s Guild of an insignificant town. Following that, I offered her a job – an insane proposition.

But did I regret it? Absolutely not.

The first time I met one was in the First Era, during the days of the Eternal War. Back then, all manner of races fought one another in the limited land, preventing the planet from growing any larger. It didn’t matter how much strength one person had or if every race wished for peace. Without any trust, the only way to survive was through war.

I was part of the guerilla unit of the Giant Tortoise Federation, keeping an eye on any unusual movements while sowing chaos when required. It was a bit embarrassing, but at that time, my ego was larger than the planet, priding myself on what could only be considered above average water magic. Still, because of that skill and my natural defense, I could take on most solo quests without issue.

One day, the refugee camp I had infiltrated was ambushed by another race – I could remember which anymore. Like the others, I scattered, trying to use the confusion to slip away unnoticed. It seemed like a rather simple task, and I was only a moment from breaking off when–

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Words came from nowhere, freezing my body. Compared to the rampant screaming and yelling, this voice was calm, as if it were another causal outing. I immediately whipped around, but there was no one behind me. Actually, let me rephrase that. I couldn’t observe anyone behind me; however, they were definitely there. It was like a sixth sense, except this one took complete control, as though their words were the natural law of the word. If I even thought of resisting, I likely would’ve died.

And, as if to confirm my suspicions, anyone who broke off from the escaping group was killed on sight. Apparently, it was a baited attack using their own non-combatants. A terrible act of malice, but effective at controlling population size while flushing out any spies.

However, I couldn’t think of that moment as anything but humiliating. A person, who I didn’t even have the skill to notice, forcefully saved my life. The other spies? They were probably dead. My pride and ego? Broken beyond belief. It simply showed me how insignificant I was, like a pawn in a game.

The second was about a year after the moon shattered – about fifty thousand years after the first being. The war was long over, but I continued to build my strength. Being complacent in a world with all-powerful beings was foolish. At least with the new adventurer-ranking system, my progress was easy to keep track of. It only took six months for me to reach Master-rank, or was it S-rank now? Same difference.

I was on my way back from a quest when I stumbled upon a horri– I mean, unusual scene. Countless bodies littered the main thoroughfare, each mutilated beyond recognition. The smell of blood was so potent, I would’ve barfed if I wasn’t already focused on someone, or something else.

Standing there in the middle of the carnage was a young girl, somewhere around twenty years of age. It wasn’t like she had much going on, well, anywhere, but her beauty was breathtaking, as if her entire body was made to seduce any living being. Her unblemished skin, those styled blonde ringlets, and that ruby red dress – she looked like a typical noblewoman. If it wasn’t for the knife slicing through one of the man’s intestines, I would’ve assumed she was exactly that.

Instinctively, I prepared my water magic and shot it towards the woman. I didn’t plan on using anything lethal, but I had to restrain her quickly. If she was the cause of this scene, I couldn’t guarantee my safety otherwise. However–

“Oh? Well, if it isn’t the bartender! Brennan, right?” She moved her body at the perfect moment, turning to face me as my magic just soared by on either side.

“Who are you and how do you know me? Also, I’m an adventurer!” I shot out another beam of water, this time aiming to kill. But once again, with a single indifferent step, my attack passed harmlessly by.

“Hmm? You’re not? My apologies. I tend to mix up the time a lot.” The woman kept approaching, ignoring every one of my attempts with causal grace. Her movements were so natural, it was as if she knew the future. Even my most powerful attack only kicked up the surrounding dirt. I thought it would be the end of me, so I closed my eyes, but–

“Well, see you later. I already took back what was mine.” With a pat on the shoulder, she walked past, as though I was never a concern in the first place. When I returned to the guild and reported what I saw, apparently, the woman wasn’t even registered as an adventurer. Compared to my first encounter, the obvious shock of her strength led me to retirement not long after.

Given all that, why in the world would I hire such a dangerous being in the first place? Sure, I had plenty of excuses. Her strength was invaluable to the guild. Receiving her trust could lead to a boost in my own skills. However, my reason was much more straightforward. Reckless, you could say. But after encountering two omnipotent beings, I knew enough that I would probably be fine.

So why?

Well, I just didn’t want to wash the dishes.