Worries and Hurries

Zan woke up earlier than usual. As per Mizlin’s mysterious instructions, she was getting ready to meet up a few hours before their usual meeting time.

As Zan was nomming on her morning eggs, she checked her messages and almost fell off her chair.

Gio (1)

She stared at the notification, hand hovering nearby to open it. Zan resolved herself with another bite of eggs, then opened the message.

Hi Zanthe – I’ll cut to the chase. After our basketball match a few days ago, I ended up in a conversation with your friend Lena. I don’t feel that it’s right to share the details, but she shared a slight tidbit of information about her life before New Sol, and it concerned me.

I’ve been doing some reading on how best to help people from the Fringes, and it suggests that it’s best not to pry too much into their past. That said, our conversation seemed to suggest she’s struggling with past experiences more than she’s letting on.

Perhaps you could talk to her Integration Officer about this, and see how you might be able to help her. For all our issues in the past, I know you can be a dedicated friend and eager to help those who need it.

I’ll happily talk to her IO too, and share my conversation with Lena, if it’ll be helpful. I would’ve sent this message to her IO directly, but I don’t know who that is or how to get their contact information.

I hope I haven’t overstepped by messaging you, or burdened you with this situation. I deliberated if I should reach out to you or not, but I figured you’d prefer to know.

Zan abandoned her eggs to go curl up on her sofa. She clutched at her nearby goose plush and re-read the message a few times. It took a while for her to type out her extremely simple response.

Thx for letting me know. Can I screenshot this and send it to her IO?

Gio’s affirmative reply came in a matter of seconds. So, Zan did just that and sent the screenshot to Vera with a short text to accompany it.

Got this message from an old friend about Lena, could you offer any advice?

As the minutes passed by without a response, Zan continuously glanced up at her clock in impatience. There wasn’t much time before she’d have to leave, so she paced slowly around her apartment as though it would make time slow as well. Eventually, Vera replied.

Thanks for letting me know about this!

The immediate cheery tone eased some of Zan’s anxiety. The message continued:

Most people from the Fringes are reluctant to share their history, and that’s been particularly true for Lena; she seemingly has a desire to pretend none of it ever happened, and jump right into her life in New Sol. She’s been quietly stubborn with me in not sharing any personal details or stories. It can feel tempting to push her to open up and unload her burdens, but it’s important that she opens up at her own pace, to the people she wants to and in the ways she wants to.

So, I think it’s a really good sign she opened up to your ‘old friend’ about her past, even if it was only a little. It shows she’s getting more comfortable here, and is perhaps even wanting to talk to someone about these things.

If you’re willing to, I’d suggest gently telling her about the message from your friend, and let her know that you’ll be there for her if/when she wants to open up. Try not to make too big a deal out of it, but the occasional offer of support from a friend could go a long way.

Would it be alright if I got the contact information of your old friend? I’d like to reassure him and make sure he has an appropriate outlet for the things he heard.

Zan quickly checked with Gio that this would be okay, then shared his info with Vera and made sure to include a small paragraph expressing her gratitude for Vera’s help. Vera replied very quickly this time.

Of course, darling! I’m very grateful that Lena has found such a good friend so early on in her life here. I cannot overstate how much you’ve been helping her: getting her into the mall, taking her to the beach, explaining things to her, etc. I’m more than eager to give you any assistance I can, and if there’s something I cannot do for you, I’ll make sure you find someone who can. Thank you for being considerate.

Zan’s slow pacing turned into an excited little jig. There was something incredibly validating about the message from Vera, and it made her heart swell. She’d been having so much fun since meeting Lena, and that enjoyment only grew anytime Lena evolved. So, knowing she was a part of that evolution meant she just couldn’t help but bounce around the room.

But all the excessive bouncing meant Zan arrived a few minutes late. She rushed into the room, where everyone was waiting for her.

“Thanks for getting here early today.” Mizlin said, side eyeing Zan.

Zan mouthed a silent ‘sorry’.

Mizlin continued. “We’ll be going to Lavander Hall, a nursery, to assist with their sports day.”

Lena’s brain worked overtime to figure out what Mizlin was talking about, but in the end she actually solved the puzzle. The Nursery in question was a plant nursery, dedicated to growing lavender! And they were going there to, uh, help the lavender play sports?

Lena didn’t know how wrong she was, and neither did the others. So, she was left imagining plants with legs playing basketball.

Her silly daydreams continued as they all made their way to the tram. She only stopped when Zan tugged at her sleeve, and directed her to a seat. The two sat next to each other, away from the other three.

“Hey, are you okay?” Zan asked tentatively, voice almost lost in the hubbub.

“…Yes?” Lena bit her lip, not wanting to reveal what had kept her thoughts so preoccupied.

Her lacklustre response didn’t calm Zan, whose leg was jittering in time with the tremors of the tram.

“It’s just… I got a message from Gio this morning.”

Lena’s body didn’t know whether to flush or to run cold, so it somehow did both at the same time. She rapidly shifted her eyes around, looking for an escape route. But she was on a moving tram. There wasn’t one.

“Don’t worry!” Zan quickly added. “He didn’t tell me what you talked about! He just said he was worried.”

Lena’s eyebrows furrowed.

“And, like, me and Gio don’t exactly get along. So, for him to message me… I kinda get the feeling you said something big.”

Lena squeezed her hands between her knees, and looked at the stars on her shoes.

Zan, realising she was making Lena uncomfortable, rushed out her words to quickly get to the point.

“What I’m trying to say, is that I’m your friend. And as your friend, I’m here for you if you ever want to talk. And I promise I’ll be a better listener than Gio.”

The comment made Lena smile a very slight amount. She recalled her conversation with Gio and cringed at her own behaviour.

“I’m, uh… I’m surprised he reached out.” Lena murmured. “I wasn’t very nice to him.”

Zan gave a very loud and abrupt laugh, that caught the attention of multiple people around them. She cleared her throat, and made sure to lower her voice when she started speaking again.

“Don’t worry.” She leant closer to Lena. “He knows he’s a jerk, so he knows he has to take it.”

Lena’s smile widened a tad

“Yeah,” She shrugged, “He was a bit of a jerk.”

“Right?”

Lena nodded, finally lifting her eyes from her shoes and settling them on her lap instead. A small bit of progress.

“I mean, he wasn’t a massive jerk, just a small one.”

Zan giggled, and the two hunched closer together. Lena sighed.

“I didn’t mean to say what I said to him. He just sort of made me…” She tensed up and gave off a rather pathetic growl to signify her anger at the time. “And I guess I just unloaded.”

“Well, I’m always here if you want to unload.” Zan said.

Lena finally met Zan’s sincere gaze.

“I…” She couldn’t quiet form a sentence.

Zan decided to stay silent, allowing Lena the time she needed to put her words together.

“I just don’t know how to say a lot of it. Sometimes it just slips out, but mostly…” Lena trailed off with a shrug.

“Yeah. I get that.”

Lena looked away again, fiddling with the ends of her hair. “But I think when I figure out what to say I’ll, uh, want to say it to you?”

She didn’t sound certain of her own words, but it was enough to make Zan beam with joy.

“Thanks!” She realised her enthusiasm might put Lena off, so reigned it in just a tad. “I’m not great at being patient, but I’ll wait for you. And if you slip again, I’ll be there to catch you.”

Lena smiled to herself, her cheeks a slight pink.

As the tram came to their stop, the girls got to their feet. Still unused to the movements of the tram, Lena’s uneven footing gave way, and she lurched forward. Already living up to her word, Zan caught her and helped Lena steady herself again.