Good People

While I still wore my cheap “disguise,” we kept down low on our way to the Rosenwald Orphanage – well, minus the hijacking of a droid’s car by Ezri and Ace. That part couldn’t be less discreet, and we had to flee the area in a flash before every bot in the city caught wind of us again.

The brick walls of the orphanage are charred. Most of the roofing had collapsed or burnt away, the remains of it hanging loosely like they can snap at any minute. Shattered windows are like shattered dreams. I saw children running and laughing in the grass not long ago, and on that same day, they all died, and I heard it. The blackened door creaks open, making the memories of their cries haunt me, but instead of a ghost, Petra stands in the doorway.

On the “inside,” if that word can even be used, moonlight shines in through a massive opening where the ceiling, upper floors, and roof used to be. The dilapidated building has debris lying everywhere, a shambly doorway is the one Ezri and I stood under to listen to Miss Perry and Brandon.

“Calla!”

My neck almost breaks with the way I snap to the sound of their voices. Running to them, I hold out my arms to pull them each into a tight embrace, letting my head drop into their shoulders.

Shiloh laughs, patting my hair. Jasper coughs awkwardly, and his skin feels hot. With a shaky breath, I say, “There’s so much to tell you…”

So, over a dinner of that disgusting slop they served us at the Boundary, that’s what I do – I tell them everything. Every little detail. From the nature of the facilities, to the fact the Saski Incident was a total lie, to how I witnessed the light leave little Brandon’s eyes, to the real reason this orphanage is the way it is now. Every so often, my eyes switch from them to Ezri eating her meal.

Shiloh is unsmiling, and for the most part silent, but her grimness speaks for itself. Tears roll down Jasper’s face. “My gosh, my gosh,” he whispers to himself.

“Well – that’s a plot twist, huh?” Shiloh finally says within a scornful laugh. She stabs the mush with her spoon, taking quick, aggressive mouthfuls. “Isn’t it funny, guys? We’ve been lied to and brainwashed all our lives!” Her laugh gets more hysterical. “It’s hilarious!”

“Shiloh…” Jasper says.

“Wow, think of all the people we helped kill! Especially you, Calla!”

That almost makes me spill my food. But she’s right, and I haven’t forgotten.

Pointing over to the handful of the Liberation sitting nearby, she says, “No wonder you guys went all psycho!” Petra replies with a nod of agreement.

“But remember, we can’t support them either,” I say, struggling to mask the desperation in my voice. Paranoia is getting to me.

“Why not?” Shiloh says defiantly. “They’ve been the only ones with some sense this whole time!”

I’m on my feet before she can even finish her sentence. “Do you call killing civilians having ‘sense?’”

“Well, yeah, that part’s bad but—”

“But nothing! They aren’t good people, okay!” The soldiers are unbothered by the comment, as they eat their meals and observe us in silence. My voice only rises further as I say, “There’s nothing to defend, or sympathize with! Don’t let yourself be fooled!”

Jasper steps forward, standing in between us. “Hey, guys, let’s calm down—”

“Wait a minute, don’t tell me… Are you still defending the IPU? Oh, come on!”

“No, I’m not… I just—”

“Calla, they’re liars!”

“Dang it, I get that already! I just don’t want you getting any crazy ideas!”

“Like what!”

“Like—!”

A hand is suddenly clasped around my mouth, along with Shiloh’s. Ezri has positioned herself behind us, her hair enveloping the moonlight. “Will you idiots quiet down before you blow our cover?” She reprimands in a low, grumbly tone. “You’re getting louder and louder, sounding like a bunch of monkeys.” Shiloh nods, I glare, then she releases us.

Chirping crickets and the sound of spoons hitting containers fill the awkward void, as me and Shiloh just stare at each other, waiting for someone to speak next. Jasper, his hands held up, is still prepared to play mediator. I return to sitting on the floorboards with a huff. Shiloh sits too, her arms crossed.

It's my own fault, shouldn’t have blown up like that. Gosh, I need to stop stressing about this. There’s just no way that could be, and there’s only one solution to my worries. I watch from afar as Ezri raises a spoon to her lips. Just drop it already. How long does it take her to eat?

“I think we can agree that… Both the IPU and the Liberation are pretty terrible, right?” Jasper says quietly.

“Not according to Calla,” Shiloh mutters.

“I told you, that isn’t what I was saying.”

“Sure it wasn’t,” she says, a deep sigh following. A pensive look casts over her features as she studies the stars in the sky. “You know, to be honest… I never really liked the IPU.”

Her confession makes Jasper and I’s heads turn. It feels like my heart just dropped into my stomach – and not because of some… Well, admittedly, “obsessive” loyalty to the IPU. Not this time, my affections are buried and cannot be retrieved. But still, Shiloh’s statement is concerning for a very different reason, which is only becoming more difficult to ignore.

Running a hand through her brown hair, she says, “It’s just- I’ve always felt, I dunno, ‘trapped.’ Dare to be a human being? Make one mistake?” She dramatically raises her finger and speaks in a parodying voice, “Straight to the facility for you!”

“Do you… Want Ezri to win, Shiloh?” Jasper asks.

“I just know I want the IPU to lose,” she looks at her feet, clicking them against each other. “Kept hoping that this finally meant the end…”

In other words, her constant questioning about the IPU’s future was never out of worry. She just wanted confirmation. I’ve known her for six years, but I’ve never suspected such feelings from her. I look to Ezri again – still eating.

“If that’s true, why did you decide to hang around me of all people?” I ask. Maybe, there’s still hope.

“Because I felt bad for you. You were miserable, and didn’t even know it – course I had to do something!”

For me?

I scoff, shaking my head. “Thanks, but I don’t deserve anyone’s pity.”

Her expression softens. “Hey, is it what I said about killing people? I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no, you’re right… For years, I thought I was ‘perfect,’ better than anybody,” I study my outfit, the sweatshirt and pants that are loose on my body, and don’t even match. Underneath it is facility-wear. I wonder if my skin is even mine anymore. “But I was the worst of them all.”

“There was this one time, when I was… Nine?” Jasper says, sitting closer to me. “I saw this man, homeless man. He was loitering, so I reported him, since my parents said it was always suspicious for someone to do that,” he rubs his hands together. “So, you see? I killed someone too.”

“You were a kid, Jasper. What’s my excuse?”

“What’s anybody’s excuse? In one way or another, we’ve all succumbed to the IPU’s laws,” Shiloh says. “You know what I did after seeing the Mangler from my apartment window? Convinced myself those people didn’t matter, just so I’d stay sane enough to avoid a facility,” she squishes herself between me and Jasper, bringing us both into a huddle. “So, I say – we all suck!”

No, I’m still different. Nobody ever resented Shiloh or Jasper – only me. And I don’t blame them anymore. In a society where the majority of us don’t know how to be “people,” I still managed to make pretty much everyone feel disgust, all while believing it was a “them” problem. How embarrassing.

But if I keep trying to argue that point, they’ll only keep trying to make me feel better. What chumps.

“Then can we be good people?” I ask.

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” says Jasper.

“Whatever that’s supposed to be!” says Shiloh.

That’s a fair question, actually. What is a good person? I’d assume, ideally – someone who is trustworthy, fair, kind… Compassionate, maybe generous? There’s probably a book about it somewhere. But whatever the definition, I want to find it. For real this time.

“Droids nearby,” a soldier says.

Ezri stands up, gun in hand. Her can of food is left unattended. I goggle it like a lion ready to pounce. While Jasper and Shiloh chat on, I abruptly leave the conversation, slowly prowling towards the spoon that sits just some feet away from me. This isn’t for the IPU, this is for what’s right – or at least, my amateur understanding of it. Perhaps even below that.

“Oh, Calla! Since we’re turning a new leaf and all, you think you’ll give Jasper a chance now?”

Jasper thumps his fists against the floor. “What the heck, Shiloh!”

I roll my eyes, but when I turn back, Petra is holding Ezri’s can, the spoon still inside. Please, don’t tell me this just got complicated. How can I ask for the spoon without it seeming—

“You were really eyeing this for some reason,” Petra says, waving the can in her hand. “Still hungry or something?”

“Um, yes…”

With a shrug, Petra- gives it over to me. Just like that. Suspiciously simple, but I have no complaints. Questions, yes, but zero complaints.

Turning around, I swiftly take the spoon and stuff it into my pocket, as if it’ll disappear if I don’t move fast enough. And once it’s nice and secure… It’s surreal. Immensely. I finally have it – a sample of Ezri’s DNA. The power to end all this, in my very own clutches.

That hijacked car is still parked outside. As soon as the coast is clear, I’m going on a trip.

Shiloh is laughing, still teasing Jasper relentlessly.

I don’t care if she was on the Spearhead, or at the Convention, or is already a suspect on Lux’s list. I may still be uncertain about the term, but this is a thing I know for sure.

Shiloh is a good person. Ezri is not.