3 AM Chat

At Ceper station, Iwan's train arrives at 2 AM. His family blesses him with coconuts, a kilogram of mango, and a bag full of fried intip. He watches news live streaming on the train. A few moments later, it'll be a normal night for Iwan, but a ringing bell for Indra. A regional government official has been arrested on charges of drug production, corruption, and money laundering.

The government officials produce odorless marijuana in the form of candy, with a forged document from BPOM. The dose can be either mild or very high. A money laundering scheme is involved to make the business safe.

"Oh, the news will explain the money laundering scheme? Nice! Keep it simple, please!"

"We will now explain the money laundering scheme through this short clip. Please do not imitate and/or perform this activity."

"Rudy! I have good news for you! This pecel lele restaurant is now yours!"

"But I'm a criminal; why would I want to own a pecel lele restaurant?"

"You would prefer to stay as a criminal instead of a convict, right?"

"Yeah, but why a pecel lele restaurant?"

"It's a prospective, potentially profitable business!"

"What?"

"Order something first, and we'll continue talking."

"I've ordered a bowl of rice with fried tilapia and iced tea. Let's continue."

"Well, you know you need to launder your money. Let's say you're having fun at a party. Woohoo! But a man from PPATK finds something fishy about you. How can an unemployed young man own a sports car, a 1000 cc motorbike, a mansion, and unlimited money? What conclusion did the man make?"

"I'm a drug dealer?"

"Meh! Try again!"

"I'm a bad guy?"

"Worse! You're a tax cheat! They'll take all your money and assets! In the end, you're behind bars for felony tax evasion!"

"So… What's my mistake?"

"Isn't it obvious? You didn't launder your money! Here's how it works, you give me your money. That is called placement. Now this iced tea of mine is a pecel lele restaurant. This rock sugar is your money. I put your dirty money into Pecel Lele's squeaky-clean cash flow. That's called layering. The last step is integration. The income of this pecel lele restaurant goes to the owner, that's you! All of your dirty money has been transformed into clean and clear, taxable income thanks to investment."

"It seems that an empty restaurant that never went bankrupt might not have been caused by a shaman's protection but by a den of washing machines."

"Now that you have seen the clip. This is how H got apprehended. He owned a café, even with no customers for 6 months. It's still open. A taxman visited the café and interviewed the barista. The barista spilled the beans, revealing the fact that his boss owned 15 pecel lele restaurants, 10 Soto restaurants, and a clothing distribution store. This case was then handed to the police to investigate the distro. During the investigation, a lot of people were drunk and having the time of their life. Apparently, they bought marijuana candies at the distro. The boss was discovered, and the police coordinated with PPATK to check the cash flow. With enough shreds of evidence, H is busted."

"So that's how it works, very interesting… Wait, is that the Soto restaurant that I visited back at Pakem? I can't believe it… That place was a money laundering spot, huh?"

When the train arrives at Lempuyangan station, an early morning snack at 3 AM is needed. The best option is Cabuk Rambak. Slices of rice cake, savoury sauce from sesame and candlenut, and a few pieces of Karak, all atop banana leaves. In case he doesn't like to get his hands dirty, a tiny piece of stick is available.

As he nearly eats it while facing toward the rail yard, Indra jump-starts his heart. Since both of them ordered the same stuff and haven't eaten yet, an eating race has begun. Who will win? Iwan is a slow eater, so there's no hope for him. Indra has a quicker pace of eating, but he munched so hard that his intestines had less workload to do. What's this? Iwan uses a secret technique from his master. Squirrel-sensei! Look at his cheeks slowly turning into a warehouse! His banana leaves may be empty, but the race is not over yet until they swallow it. Indra has hastened his pace! A problem requires a solution, but acetone is not one of them.

"Hey Indra, I thought when we met. Things might get a little tense, you know?"

"So do I, but we ended up munching together. I guess this is the effect of socializing at 3 AM."

"Ain't gonna lie, this effect is real. Hey, you're almost finished, right? Why don't you swallow it already?"

"Deterrence effect."

"How's that supposed to work?"

"In theory, if you swallow it first, I'll beat you up… I think?... Aaaahhhh! I have no idea. I just feel like it."

"To reduce conflict escalation and its potential in the future, why don't we swallow simultaneously?"

"You're a genius! Ok then, in the count of 7!"

"Seven?"

"Six!"

"No, I'm asking! Why seven?"

"So that God help and save us from being mortal enemies."

"I don't think that's gonna happen."

"Why? Don't you say things might get heated when we meet?"

"A little tense; I thought you would start a revolution and yap your ideas at me."

"Revolution? What revolution? Has it been 3 cases already?"

"Huh? You follow the news, right?"

"As of lately… no, what did I miss?"

"A lot; when will we start the countdown?"

"Oh yeah, alright then! Seven!"

"Six!"

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

At long last, the race is over. It's time to discover what Indra will do. But first, small talk. Weather, health, parents' conditions, and it escalates. Conspiracy theory, games, movies, books, motorcycle gangs, idols, absurd dreams, gardening, and the geological formation of Java.

"Indra, the reason that Bledug Kuwu and Oro-oro Kesongo exist is because a long time ago… that region was below sea level. Sedimentation is rapid, and the sediment barely has enough time to solidify into rocks. But those muds are covered by other sediments, and that place was raised above sea level. That place is called the Kendeng and Randublatung zone. Over time, cracks start to form, and the mud is pressurized. Mud, being… Mud releases its pressure by flowing upward through cracks in the earth's crust. Then, it erupts to the surface."

"Whoa, nice info! Do you mind if I shift to a new topic?"

"Go ahead!"

"I wanna start a revolution."

Notes:

Intip: Scorched rice from the lowest layer of the cooking pot.

BPOM: Badan Pengawas Obat dan Makanan (National Agency of Drug and Food Control) Indonesian equivalent of Food and Drug Administration in the USA.

PPATK: Pusat Pelaporan dan Analisis Transaksi Keuangan (Financial Transaction Report and Analysis Center) Indonesian equivalent of Financial Crimes Enforcement Network in the USA.

Karak: Rice crackers

Seven in Javanese is pitu (ngoko). Pitu can be interpreted as an abbreviation of pitulungan, it means help or relief.