Where Are We Now?

The good thing was that Stella looked highly aesthetically pleasing while wearing a miniskirt. The bad thing was that, if she moved too much, her tail could cause accidents to happen. The ugly thing was that Irina had left after trying on her first outfit. She hadn't said why, but it was obvious that something had bothered her.

If so, why not state it outright? 'Hey, this is bothering me. I won't be silly anymore.' Not only would that save everyone unnecessary stress, but it seemed very logical to Stella.

Of course, though, this wasn't how life worked. People saw a clear race track ahead and their first instinct was to tie the shoelaces from both sneakers together.

She found Shigure napping on the couch of her soon-to-be shop. He hugged one of her ribbonized cushions, face buried in it, his phone and several papers lying on the floor as though he'd dropped them, hopefully by accident.

While she should've probably woken him up, she just... couldn't.

What would happen to her furniture? Where would she fit them? Because coffee shops had a lot of tables and chairs, but not many couches...

Would Shigure leave?

Was it over now?

Was it ever over, really?

Very silently, upon placing his food on the counter, Stella hopped over to Shigure's side. He didn't wake up. Very softly, she curled against him. They stayed that way for a while, wasting time, or resting. Same difference.

"I'll try to hire you for my shop," Stella mouthed, "but you'll say no, I'm sure. But my ex-owner told me goodbyes are a part of life. That happened the last time I saw him. Goodbyes hurt, but I get why people race after the things that cause them. I didn't say 'humans', because robots are the same. They get... enhancements... to eat..."

Moving her 'mouth' without really saying anything was weird. What did they call it when humans, who couldn't turn off their voices (probably) spoke without making a sound? Whispering? Perhaps it'd be slightly less weird that way.

"I just hope you're happy someday, and Kou, and Irina, and everyone else. I think it's possible. Eventually. I hope my shop helps with that. Everyone is too busy trying to suffer. If no debt, cheating or call centers existed, people would find a way to suffer anyway, but I understand, I think. Do I understand self-sabotage because I think? Will I ever be happy if I can think? But I'm supposed to be happy because of the shop. I don't understand. Is it because you'll leave? But I'll make other friends."

Why was it easier to talk to things that could not respond?

"I don't like goodbyes, or memories. People die or leave. I said this wouldn't be my home, that I wouldn't have any friends, because nothing is forever. To get attached to transient concepts is self-sabotage. It's just that having none of these is even worse. To me. Maybe to most people. Goodbyes are bitter, hellos are sweet, and memories are... in-between?"

"Probably," Shigure replied. Stella's tail bristled. "Depends on the person. What are you talking about now? What happened?"

"Did I wake you up?"

"Your tail did, yeah. Good to see you're wearing shorts under that thing."

Stella couldn't even huff. It was a good thing he hadn't heard the first part, or else he might think of her as ungrateful, which... granted, she was.

She let out a small 'ah' when he curled an arm around her shoulders, which made him stop, so Stella had to finish the job for him. "Wait, no," Shigure said. "I wasn't, um. Let me go."

Shigure not only moved off; he also moved away. Instead of her, he hugged the cushion.

"Sorry. I'm still kind of half asleep, so I wasn't thinking. That was so fucking awkward. I'm sorry."

"You are awkward."

"Yeah." As he picked the papers from the floor, he explained, "You just sounded kind of sad. I don't know. I'm really sorry. I keep forgetting you're with—ugh." He dropped the papers again, which made sense, given how inefficient it was to pick them up while still sitting. On his second attempt, Stella helped. "Thanks."

As he straightened the papers against the coffee table, Stella asked, "Are you happy? No sarcasm."

Shigure had to pause for a moment after she set up that rule—no, that law. "I... guess? It could be worse."

"So no?"

"Listen, every single thing that has gone wrong with me is my fault. If anything, I kind of have it too good. So I can't complain." He moreso sounded as though he'd said that to himself.

Stella didn't want to move, but if she didn't, Shigure's food would get cold, so she went for it. "Why do you have it too good?" She asked. "You don't seem to enjoy your current situation."

"Not answering th... oh. Thank you." Shigure accepted the food, thankfully. He always did, but that didn't stop Stella from fearing the opposite. For whichever reason, he sighed. "Fine. I mean... I'm semi-close with my family, pretty close with some of my friends, have a job, and I didn't fight in a war for a centuries. Like I said, it could be worse."

"It could, but it could also be better."

"Mhm." He drank the tea before the coffee. Perhaps it'd been unwise to bring both. "So? What's wrong? Just to be clear, we're talking about you now."

Would he say yes if she asked for a hug? "Nothing," she replied. "I'm very happy."

"Really..."

"Yes. I wanted a coffee, milk and peach pie shop and I'll open it now. So I'm happy."

"Do you miss Bob?" Shigure asked. "Is that it?"

"No... or... maybe...? You haven't even left yet, but I miss you. Ah. That's it. I miss you."

"I'm not Robert," he said. "Just so you know."

"You are."

"Okay."

"Everyone is Bob. Everyone leaves."

"They're still looking for him. Usually, it's not that hard to find people on Earth, but like I told you, that was probably a codename. They're trying to find him by looking through your records, but everyone is—"

"Dead."

Shigure took a moment to respond. "We don't know that yet."

"I do. They're all dead. I understand."

"Stella..."

"Stella what? What is it now? Will you change topics again? Or lie? Why do you hate me? I'm calm."

"You're..." then he pulled her into a hug.

This, exactly, was why people chased after memories: a thousand sad moments paled against a happy one. However brief, however silly, however small this was, if she had to go through that century again in order to end up here, in this moment, with this man, she would.

"I won't leave," Shigure mumbled, rubbing her back. "Calm down."

"...lies."

"I mean... I'll have to, eventually, but—"

"Don't," she said. "Please."

"I have to, Stella. I'm just here to... uh... theoretically guide you, but after that—"

"No." Even knowing they'd part sooner than later, Stella held onto Shigure anyway, like he held onto her. "Don't leave. Everyone leaves. Everyone dies. Let's run the shop together. Please? I'll even find you cigarettes."

He snorted. "Smoking in domes is part of why I'm in this mess."

"Then smoke more!"

He laughed. She spoke seriously and he laughed. The audacity of this man. "No, thanks. Listen, you're attached to me because I'm your first line of support. It's not that uncommon with cases of this sort. I looked it up. As you make friends, this will change. By the time I leave, I'll just be a social worker. You won't miss me anymore."

"That's sad."

"No, it's not. It's good. That's the point of this program."

"And you won't be sad?"

"Listen—"

"Yes or no? Once you leave, will you be sad?"

To which Shigure replied, "I'll be happy that you found your footing."

"There is no footing."

"Yet."

Strangely, it was Stella to break off the hug. He was right. Eventually she'd make friends and he would be a memory. It wouldn't be the first or last time this happened. Eventually, she'd have to get used to this. Eventually. But when? When would it stop hurting so much? "I still miss Robert. And Nina and Amelia and Rosa and Linda and everyone. Everyone. No matter how much time passes, I'll always miss them."

"That's why you make new connections," Shigure said. "To move on doesn't mean to forget."

"I don't want to forget."

"I know. Me neither."

"So you'll remember me?" Stella asked.

"For sure."

"And will you miss me?"

Shigure covered the side of his face that Stella could see. "Stella, come on."

Had he not whispered those words, and Stella would've pressed on, but perhaps this was her way of saying 'fine'.

"Even if... if... 'they' wouldn't let me stay."

"Who?"

"Whoever's running this thing."

"Isla?"

"For one."

"He'll say yes."

"He won't," Shigure said. "Shouldn't you be asking him to run this thing with you instead?"

'If I were you, I'd clear that mess as soon as possible.'

Asaba's words came to mind, but... what did they mean? If only they hadn't digressed back then...

Isla walked in with suspicious timing. "Hello, lovebirds," he greeted. "What's this I heard about about you co-owning the shop? Should I get the papers ready?" For some reason, Shigure did not respond, and his pulse quickened. Not that it mattered. "Lovely. Congrats, Fuyukawa, Stella. I raised the count to fifteen out of twenty votes. It's official. You'll both own the shop."