Saving Ezri - pt. 1

Wait, what?

Everyone is in shock, slowly rising to their feet. A wind blows, the loose pieces of the Orphanage clatter together. Ezri is the first to move, and she’s coming right at me. Enraged, she grabs me by the neck and slams me against the wall, freeing the rest of the soldiers from their daze.

“What. Have you done?” She snarls, her grip on my neck tightening. “I know it was you, you did something.”

I can’t speak. I don’t have the words to. I really thought that— it was safe to have faith in a coincidence, just one last time. Because they’re nothing alike, nothing!

“Answer me, idiot!”

Petra jogs up, dragging Ezri back and leaving me panting for air on the ground. The desire to inflict as much pain and suffering on my body as possible is radiating off her. My fingers trace the red prints made on my neck, and like a malfunctioning bot, it can’t compute to me that they’re from Shiloh.

“Get off me, Petra—!”

“Just come here, need to talk to you!”

With that, Petra hauls her away to a corner. They talk in hushed tones for a little, until Ezri explodes.

“How could you do something so stupid!” She yells. Petra holds a finger to her lips, and though the gesture only fuels the fire judging by Ezri’s face, she lowers down and berates her quietly instead.

Jasper hurries over and takes my hand, helping me up. He looks at Ezri, then back at me, particularly my neck. A mixture of conflicted emotions flashes through his eyes before he pulls me into a hug.

“I snuck away last night… Gave Lux a DNA sample,” I say softly, my voice tired.

“That was dangerous,” he whispers.

“But that isn’t the point,” I lift my head from his shoulder. “Whatever happens to Shiloh… Is my fault.”

Jasper returns his intent gaze to Ezri, still engaged in a one-sided argument with Petra. “She really is… Shiloh?” he says with utter disbelief. I can’t fathom it either. The woman I’ve detested turned out to be one of the most important people in my life, and I just sent her off to the slaughter.

How will I even be able to stand looking at her face?

But then again… Where is Shiloh?

She’s nowhere in sight.

I release myself from Jasper’s embrace, shooting a glance at every nook and cranny with distress. Dashing out the door, I hope that maybe she’s just outside – but no, she’s nowhere, nowhere to be found. The color drains from my face.

Did she see wake up and see I was gone last night? Went out to look for me or something?

“Jasper,” I say to him at the doorway. He was stepping out to join me. “Have you seen Shiloh?”

“No, now that you mention it…” He bites his lip nervously. “But, technically… I guess that um, she’s over there…” He points to Ezri.

Oh. That’s— right. We do know where she is, don’t we?

But I can’t see them as the same. I just can’t. On the other hand, I remember what Ezri told me in 2290. For the time being, if I want to find Shiloh – as in Shiloh Shiloh – I’ll have no choice but to acknowledge their connection.

“E-Ezri,” I call from behind her.

When she faces me, still burning red, my opposing views clash against each other. Is this woman my enemy or my best friend? Am I meant to hate her or care for her? Protect her or stand by and watch her downfall? Impossible to determine, all of it.

“Where are you— where is Shiloh?” I ask.

Ezri glares at Petra, as if expecting a response from her. When she doesn’t say anything, she mutters some harsh words then says to me, “Don’t know.”

“What do you mean? You can see through the eyes of yourself in the past, just like I could—”

“And if you remember, I also said I couldn’t see anymore. That’s what I meant, stupid,” she snaps. “Adding a third perspective to my head messed me up, and this is the result.”

So Shiloh is who knows where, potentially lost, all while the IPU is on the hunt for her… And we have no way to find her location?

This is all my fault. I thought I was making things better, but it’s only caused a nightmare.

Ezri initiates a search party against Petra’s wishes. Only thirteen soldiers remain from the golem attack, and the IPU has obviously registered them as threats to be on the search for. Looking for Shiloh goes beyond a risk, but what other option is there? If they— “get rid of,” Shiloh… Ezri and the Liberation will be gone.

Jasper and I are forced to stay at Rosenwald, with Petra guarding over us. She firmly refuses to join the search, and I can’t comprehend why – doesn’t she care? The rest of the twelve head out without even the cover of night, but after that nightfall arrives, only seven of them return.

“Four of us got caught,” a soldier says. “Ezri is still out there looking.”

“Why are you so against this, Petra?” Another asks. “Don’t you know what’ll happen if—”

Petra raises her hand to silence him. “I do, but alas, there’s nothing we can do about it. It was ‘Shiloh’s’  idea, anyway.”

“Shiloh came up with this?” I ask.

“Sure did! Put the pieces together, then took matters into her own hands.”

She somehow figured out she was Ezri before the IPU could… Guess it must take yourself to know yourself. Probably didn’t say anything to me out of fear of how I’d react. With this being the worst news I’ve ever heard in my life, can’t say I blame her.

But what’s her plan? Is it to run away, or…

“Attention, Capital.”

An M-droid speaks again.

“Shiloh Wilks has surrendered herself to the IPU at the office of the Department of Order. As punishment for her crimes, she will be sentenced to sleep.”

“NO!” I scream, falling onto my knees in misery. Jasper stares at his feet, his eyes swelling with tears.

Kill me. Just kill me now. What have I done? Can I not do anything right?

The soldiers lower their heads and grumble amongst themselves, hopeless and dejected. Tearfully, they exchange some heartfelt words with Petra, speaking warmly of their time spent together. But there’s no urgency in them, no desperation to drop everything and save Shiloh.

My temper rises, until it’s uncontrollable.

“Don’t just stand there! Didn’t you hear!? They’re going to kill Shiloh! We have to do something NOW!”

“Calla, do you really want to go against your friend’s wishes? Make her sacrifice meaningless?” Petra asks.

My eye twitches. “Why the heck would you even care about that? You’re okay with your Admiral dying?”

“Oh, no, of course not! I’m just asking questions, is all…” She takes a step closer to me, giving me an oddly affectionate pat on the head. “But I will say – you should at least know Shiloh is doing this to protect you,” she retracts her hand. “Don’t ask how I know, though!”

From what?

“From herself…” Jasper says glumly, as if reading my thoughts.

Herself. But Ezri hasn’t harmed us – or, well, for the most part. Why would we have to be safe from her? It’s Shiloh, for crying out loud!

“She also left you guys this note,” Petra says, giving me a small piece of paper.

In Shiloh’s bad handwriting, the note reads, “I want to be a good person.” I crumble it up and toss it away with frustration. Jasper rushes to grab it. You moron, you already are a good person. I’m the one whose bad.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t care about Shiloh’s wants right now – they’re stupid!”

Petra shrugs. Her behavior is way too nonchalant. “Maybe, but it’s too late now.”

“Regardless of what you think, Petra,” Ace says. “We both know Ezri isn’t going to let this slide.” He reloads his gun using the last bit of ammunition the team has. “And I’m not going to leave her to fight alone.”

He struts back out the building, into the blackness. The soldiers, all except Petra, suddenly shout and follow behind Ace. Guns held high and their despair now invisible, they run to save Shiloh. As they should be doing… What I should be doing. The gun is still on me. But would Petra actually let me go?

“Petra, I—”

“Go ahead.”

“ … Seriously?”

She nods, then plops on the floor. “I’m about to disappear soon – I know, tragic! But when that happens, nobody will be here to stop you anyway. So, no point in trying!”

“But you’ll all disappear if they kill Shiloh…” Jasper says. “You say you care about Ezri’s life, but I’m sorry, it doesn’t look that way to me.”

“Well – maybe, you just have to look harder then.”

I can’t with her. Does she really see such little potential in this rescue mission?

Well, that doesn’t matter, because I do – and so does Jasper, as he equips himself with Petra’s gun which she willingly lends him. The car is still parked outside, since they couldn’t all fit. But it’s perfect for me and Jasper.

There’s no time to waste. Let’s get to Shiloh.