That Day

It was weird. 

The idea of knowing yourself. Is there a point into which you could say you did? To find it, I had to stand on my own two feet according to my body double. She thought on her own, but could I say that our thoughts were separate? A bubbling warmth began to course throughout my insides. Maybe she was a me that I never acknowledged or wanted to look at. 

I figured if I knew where I came from, it could inform me on where I should go. That it would justify the reason or give me one as to why denied who I was for so long.  I suppose the past only tells you of the past. The Reia now, no, the both of us, are the ones who have to decide to move forward. 

Maybe I would've looked at myself differently all that time ago if I saw myself from the eyes of another, another me. 

***

There I was. 

His memory reels flashed and played all in the same moment. We stepped inside them as if it was a single memory and something of our own. He showed us the very first time we became experiments through the vantage point of his eyes. These were all his memories. Regal, his name, the man with the violet eyes. He was always looked so indifferent.

It spanned to show the Director, Dr. Vex, Aylis, Franz and him bringing us in that same white room. Mira, Experience III, Daiya, three others, and myself. It was me!

I was so small, a child. I don't know why I have no memories of this. My hair. It had always been purple. Daiya and Mira simply stood there, calmly observing. I wonder what they thought. I wonder what Experience III would think if he saw this. I chuckled to myself because I knew he probably was reading all of our thoughts anyways wherever he was. 

My body began to feel lighter the more I experienced him. I felt the longing in each and every one of them. 

I was draped in white linens; the rest were as well. They never attached our heads but inspected us all the same. Prodding, examining our skin, eyes, and bodies. Regal stood off to the side while the rest of them continued their process. 

The next memory cut to Dr. Vex and Regal. It was Dr. Vex testing on one of the other kids that had been in the room with us. He had bright yellow hair with scars all over. It was a solid steel room with a single light that hung above. He screamed and cried out, but Dr. Vex administered more needles into their body and shut the door behind his pleading cried. It reminded me of those begging prisoners all over. Again, the man with the violet eyes. He simply observed, never participating or saying a word. 

We cut to another scene of Franz and Aylis, and Regal. But this time it's Daiya. She's curled in the corner of an all-white room while Franz and Aylis start shooting light beams in her direction. Daiya dodged one from Aylis, then Franz teleported in front of her and punched her in the stomach. I looked over to Daiya as we watched, noticing that she had tears. That same liquid from before ran down her face. I didn't know she experienced anything like this.

"Is this fun to the both of you?" the man with the violet eyes asked the two of them. They both turned around.

"It's what the Director instructed us to do. Test her capabilities. Heightens internal responses," Aylis smiled, "It's just a job, relax."

"I agree," Franz chimed in, "It's what was asked of us since we began Project Experience. You're the one who's not pulling his weight. It's for advancement and you never do shit,"

Regal didn't respond. He opened the door and left but Dr. Vex was waiting outside leaning against the wall. "I'm going back to Nolan-70,"

Regal walked away when Dr. Vex grabbed his arm, "Hey! The Director...he's hiding something. I saw some of the stuff he was doing...I think Nolan-70 is something. It could lead us closer. I think I understand what this project about...I just don't know why they want to control us. Or who they are."

Regal perked up, then turned to walk away. "Do what you want, as usual-"

Dr. Vex held out a notebook, "There's so many things in here! You don't even know! It talks of civilizations, of humans, landscapes of ice-"

"Ice?" Regal questioned, "I won't ask why or how you got that. But I will tell you this Vex, what you're doing is foolish. Reality is objective. You can't change it by looking into the past."

"Even so, I want to know. Humans of 1000 years ago, what life was like!  Why hide it if it changes nothing? Regal, come with me. I'm leaving Nolan-"

"You can't."

"You can. Below ground," Dr. Vex said, "Maybe the answer is in exploring all avenues. But I have to know. I'm going no matter what. I have a plan."

"Regal," Dr. Vex called out to the man with the violet eyes as he was walked away, "The Experiences. They can change. It's what separates us from them. The only thing I've learned; I don't think memory is what they want. They don't want us to use it to change. It's where their power comes from."

Regal kept walking down the hall and suddenly the memory cut out. 

I looked over to see Daiya, Mira, and now Experience III, who was bound together by the hands and feet with yellow bands of light. He stood a few feet in front of us. We were no longer on the orange platform or in Nolan. It was somewhere different. 

The sky was greyish blue. We stood in the middle of a frozen slab that stretched for miles. In the distance, a large, rugged surface draped in a white covering stood as high as the highest buildings of Nolan. Several of these odd structures, jointed together, formed a chain of white, pointed triangles that erected themselves in the air. I knelt down to touch the surface and noticed it was moist, the liquid rubbed in between my fingers. My breath materialized as it floated in the air. When I looked up, little white specs covered the bridge of my nose. Amazing. 

I want to see more.

"Woahhh," Experience III exclaimed as he held his tongue out attempting to catch the white specs that fell from the sky. "Hey guys!"

"Ice," Regal looked around, "Snow. This is what the old world used to look like. It has an appeal; I will give Vex that. Of course, it isn't real, but what is?" he looked at Mira from a distance. 

"I never really thought much of it, of the old world. How things were...it was pointless. Nothing comes of the past, it's useless. Project Experience, artificial humans. I still think so. After Vex went to Nolan-70, he disappeared for 100 years," Regal paused.

I marveled at the sight, the sheer size of what perched around me. I dug my hands in my pocket as it started to get cold. Is this how things used to be? Daiya and Mira began to glance around, and I noticed they had smiles running across their faces. So, did I. This was something I never wanted to forget. 

"It was around the same time both Experience IIII and Experience VI went missing. The Director told me to find him and bring him back, that he had stolen government property. I didn't care. I dislike being controlled. But there was something about what he said that interested me. He said that the Experiences could change. Change...I wanted to see."

He directed his focus towards me and held his hand out to the sky, letting the white specs fall into his hand. "I searched and searched for years to find until one day, I came across a person below ground with no light walking the street. And that's when I understood," he looked at me.

"It was you, I understood what he meant. About change. And what the beings who control us were so afraid of," he clasped his hands.

The white wonderland disappeared and immediately we were transported into what appeared to be below ground. Glitchy buildings. Silent streets. Lamp posts that filtered light particles. People that roamed aimlessly in the air or by ground. I knew this place all too well. 

It was him. The man with the violet eyes, staring at me from across the street. 

This was a memory of that day.

The day I found out I could split my body.

***